My sisters and I are looking for ideas on what to do or get for dad for Father's Day.
We'll be bringing him to the cottage (one of his favourite places!) for the weekend so we know he'll enjoy that Being able to spend time with him is such a precious gift (for us!!!) and we want to get him something he can truly enjoy.
He's at the stage where he can't talk (except for a couple of barely understandable, whispered words every so often), he's either sleeping or in a reclining chair much of the day. Just walking (with assistance) to/from the bathroom exhausts him and eating (swallowing) is an increasing challenge.
Any thoughts on a Wii?
He's in front of a television most of the time and my mother is reluctant to bring him anywhere as it's a lot of work to get him to/from, etc.
Dad has always enjoyed electronics but since his sight has deteriorated, he's not able to use a keyboard or computer. I'm hoping he might be able to get at least some sort of physical and mental stimulation (golf, bowling, tennis, boxing, etc.), not to mention have a bit of fun!
Also hoping Wii might have some sort of game(?) that might allow him to communicate by pointing at letters/spelling words.
Open to suggestions...
Thanks
C
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4mydad
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My husband sounds at a similar stage to your dad. We have a Wii. Before he was diagnosed in 2010 he was having trouble using it. He could at that time do everything for himself but fell frequently. That barred him from using the balance board. When he tried to play tennis he could never hit the ball, even when serving. The same with golf, he never once hit the golf ball. This made him feel dreadful as we didn't know why he had changed from a coordinated sportsman to someone who couldn't access any of the games. If he had coordination now, he wouldn't keep his eyes open long enough.
One of our sons arrived today with a large colourful plant in a decorated pot. The pot was etched so C could feel the markings on it even though he couldn't see it very well. He also brought a colourful card, not a Father's Day card but a beautiful view of the South Downs where we used to visit often. He wrote lovely words telling his dad how much he loves him and what happy memories he has of his childhood. He can't come here on Sunday as he is helping to set up at Glastonbury so spent time talking to his dad today.
That is what C appreciates most. The time our sons spend with him now. The best gift they can give him is their love and time.
I hope you all have a lovely time at the cottage and I am sure he will appreciate being in a place he loves to visit.
Thank you so much for your insight, NannaB. I understand what you mean by '...made him feel dreadful...' - my Dad was also a sportsman and oh so very competitive. He would probably feel the same way (He was well known for wrapping golf clubs around trees when missing a shot!)
The time we have with him is truly a gift even though I feel its more a gift to us than him, I certainly get what you mean. We will certainly make the most of it.
I just reread your post about your son and his wonderful efforts with his dad. What a nice son to have. So thoughtful.....there truly is nothing better than considering ones needs and then doing it....write a letter talk about your day, oh the happy childhood memories remembered and laughed about.....oh NannaB , you two are very lucky parents!
We do feel blessed to have 3 thoughtful sons. We had a few "exciting" moments when they were growing up which gave us cause for concern and turned us grey but they all grew up to be men we are proud of. Two of them have children and tell me of things they have done that cause them concern, thinking their children are the only ones that have done them. I remind them of how they were and either get, " I never did that did I" or "Oh yes, I'd forgotten about that". Our grandsons love me telling them about the naughty things their dads did. I see your 3 live in the same town as you. It must be good to know they are nearby if you need them.
Yes, it is great to have them near by. They are busy as everyone is. But they try their best. My son "inherited" a6 year old when he married. It is the wifes nephew. When we opened up my boys toy box (that hadn't been opened in 15 years) the lad was beside himself to discover all of these 'new' toys! haha and I was beside myself reminiscing! Now that he has his own house, my son will ask if he can borrow this or that.....I tell him (them) you borrow , you keep!...What am I going to do with a tent and a sleeping bag..hahaha
I Sent over several boxes of stuff of my daughters to her house....left it on the lanai and then it rained....oh im sorry Celi, She was quite offended as "all of her childhood memories were ruined"......How careless of you , mom! uhm oops...but she refused to get them and I could no longer keep them in paid storage and they were not all memories....at any rate she's again angry with me.....oh well....hope we can make new memories....
It's the same the world over isn't it? But ours don't borrow, we call it low key looting. Our middle son comes nearly every Tuesday at non festival time and I think his wife must dread it as he always goes home with something. This week it was his old Cub Scout record book so he could show his 8 year old what badges he was awarded as Leo has just passed his cooking badge. I told him he could take the blanket that he sewed them all on when he went camping in the venture scouts as a teenager but he said I could keep it and show Leo myself. Something else I couldn't get rid of. The two youngest sons are horders, the eldest has been influenced by his wife and keeps his house very clear. When we converted our garage to a wet room we had to hire a skip to take away the junk. Our eldest couldn't help but said I could get rid of anything of his. So what happened? The other two put it all in the loft as one day they will sell it on EBay.....when they have time.
My mother in law does the same but she sends it as she is in Arizona. My mom just waited until she died and then made me take care of all the crap......ugh!!!
Another word of wisdom if you are going to collect collectables....try to
1) make sure they are indeed collectable!
2)that you liquidate your assets when you are ....around 70 ...by then it probably does not interest ....you as much as it used to and you will be doing ....your kids a great service! hahahaah
My mother in law gave the kids stickers then they can claim objects now...this makes it much more tidy of a way to allocate the small stuff. She is very organized!
wish I could say the same for me...instead it gets ruined by a days worth of rain after sitting in the bedroom taking space for 20 years! oh well
NannaB hit the mark again. My husband doesn't need stuff and could not use it if he got it. Time with his children is what he loves. It does not seem as if he cares, but the boys don't mind that he is not a high conversationalist. They talk about the books he's recently read and whatever might come their way. At any rate, just giving dad your time is indeed the greatest gift...hope this helps...
Thanks AVB - I agree. I hadn't thought about how he might feel if he wasn't able to use it(!)
He's pretty quiet most of the time too, but his mind is still sharp and I know he enjoys it when we hang out and chat with him or recall funny stories from the past.
Hi, if your Dad is like my husband, he would not be able to work the Wii!
How about a talking book, apparently they are quite good, it has just given me the answer to my dilemma about what to buy S for his birthday, coming up next month. That's what I am going to go for.
What the others have said, about giving time! That has to be the most precious thing, my children did that for my birthday, a weekend away with them. It was wonderful. You will have the added advantage, that your Dad, will be able to see you take some pressure off your Mum as well. If your Mum doesn't think she can manage to bring him by herself, perhaps one of you could collect them. Certainly don't give up, sounds as if your Mum could do with the break as well!
A talking book sounds great! Last year I had given my Dad a discman and a few CD's of narrated books. He really liked it, but couldn't use it unless I was there to set it up. Is a talking book relatively easy to use?
My parents are leaving for the cottage on Friday morning and unfortunately I'm stuck at work from 7am to 6pm. (We could take him or both of them first thing on Saturday but she wanted to leave on Fri).
For sure, my mom needs to have more time to herself and I wish she'd allow us to help more often Thank goodness she lets PSW's come in for a few hours each day so she can go out and visit with friends or shop, etc. If only she'd agree to having overnight care for my Dad. He's always up a few times in the night and I'm worried she's not getting enough sleep.
My husband gets books from the library that, except for an
AAA battery and ear buds (phones) , come complete, ready to use. The book company(?) is called BREAKAWAY , is about as big as a lighter. They have a pause button so one can come back to where they were. and sometimes they are read by authors sometimes read by actors. B thoroughly enjoys them. He also has Bible on this type of mechanism. We have not delved into a Kendle or iPad. Also ebay has an audio store. Have not used this but someone gave me a card about it!
That's my take on the books.
I must commend you on your concern for your dad....It si so nice to hear kids step up to the plate and wonder...how can I....? You C, are doing a great job taking care of your parents. Maybe this holiday will help your mom see that a good nights sleep is worth having overnight care! Sometimes I am half asleep when B needs to do his thing in the middle of the night....the last week he came crashing down on me and yanked the sciatic around in my knee......it hurts....chiropractic still working on it...So maybe mom needs to get help in the night so as to be strong during the day.....Just sayin!
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Being able to spend time with him is such a precious gift (for us!!!) and we want to get him something he can truly enjoy.
(He was well known for wrapping golf clubs around trees when missing a shot!)
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