I filled out a questionnaire and it encouraged me to make a post here. I got a prostatectomy a week ago, Friday.
I'm powering through all the pain, incontinence issues (I'm peeing - just not at times I'd like to), 1,000 trips to the rest room, and most importantly I feel people around me are treating this like "a day at the market."
I'm here in hopes I can get suggestions, both from previous posts, and any feedback others can make here. I'm a gay male with a partner. That partner hasn't been sexually involved much over the past 5 years (maybe more) and, I think, is relieved I won't be bothering him with any sexual frustration I've had in the past. It sounds perverse, or mean spirited, but from diagnosis, surgery, and now recovery - while this has been a whirlwind over the past couple of months - I only now catching my breath.
I'm ready to ask questions and get answers but I'm also mourning my "previous life" of full health and sexual satisfaction. Everyone is treating the post-surgery "a success" - and it is - I stayed alive, but it's also traumatic for me by taking a central satisfaction I had, completely away from me.
I desperately need to get a handle on this or I'm going to be insufferable to others.
I've always been "the clown in the room." The guy who uplifts others' moods with comedy, absurdity, and hilarious and illogical conclusions to their question.
I not in the driver's seat on this and no one seems very interested in assisting me in my distress - they don't see that as an issue - even though I've more than hinted at it. I'm sure they "know" but don't want to take any steps to meet me halfway, so I have to figure it out by myself.
That's the reason I'm here right now.
Commodore Decker, out.