Messing

[michael42301]

I have a question, and I want to be delicate about it. I am more than 6 years out from surgery, and I am thankful every day to be cancer-free. But every day, I also remember what I have lost: the length, the heft, the stiff, the mess. But particularly the mess. In the old days, the mess was primarily an indication of a job well done, and when I watched porn, I was more interested in the process than the result. Since the surgery, though, I have become, in porn and reality, obsessed with mess. I have talked with a friend on this site who shares this new obsession. Does anybody else?

[Paulo1968]

Hi Michael, I had surgery almost 3 months ago and I am not missing the mess on me. My partner also says he is fine with me this way. This to say everyone is different 😀

Glad to know you are ok 👍

You take care, Paulo

[michael42301 in reply to Paulo1968]

It's just that it is so odd. I was expecting all the rest, but not to be missing the mess this much. I used to watch porn and scorn the endings where the top pulled out and let fly. But now I have become a fly fisherman.

[YostConner]

My surgery was 11 years ago, and I’m on continuous ADT. I don’t miss the mess any more, but for someone who beat the beast, I think your interest is normal. Enjoy it!

[jimreilly]

Everyone's different, and if you miss the mess you miss it! I don't especially, although I miss the sensation that went with making it, even though the sensations I do have when I come are pretty damn good some times. Hope you can take pleasure in the porn and/or have the opportunity to enjoy someone else's mess!

[FrankH]

Good to hear about this. I am just at the beginning of my SBRT And have been on Lupron for four months so there has been nothing. We were talking about the cum iissue at one of the support groups last week. He said he was relieved that he no longer had to worry about the cum flying out and hitting the wall. At first I thought well that will be a good thing not to worry about where it lands but thinking about it I certainly miss the substance coming out on my hand. It seems to have great emotional And physical value to me.

[davey1957]

Hey Michael,

I’m just over 3 months post surgery and right now I am missing my raging hard on most of all! Being pro active with pump and sildenifil, and maybe there is a glimmer of hope there.

I too miss the mess the mess but luckily I like cleaning up other peoples messes so theres

Still mess in my life!!

Did I say mess enough?

Thanks for sharing your feelings about this. There is a sense of mourning what once was, of course keeping in mind the gratitude of being around to feel that sense of loss.

Xoxo

Davey

[michael42301 in reply to davey1957]

I am doing what I can as often as i can to deal with others' messes, but for various reasons I have a lot fewer opportunities. I'm trying to improve my skills in that department, though,

[TucsonCowboy]

Hi Michael,

Yes, I do miss "the mess"; the sensation and maybe memories of good times experienced involving the wet cum.

Rick (in Tucson)

[jgerace]

I miss the mess too! And at first, I thought it would be ok. somehow it leaves me feeling incomplete.

[hotaampa]

Alas, I missit too. And I also developed Peyronnies disease. I also am becoming desnsitized to porn I believe. Lately I can get erect after masturbation but climax is difficult if not impossible. I am seeking out a psychologist.

[tommyrobertson]

Michael,

I am four years out from my nerve sparing prostatectomy. I did not have any follow-up treatment. Before my surgery, I had tremendous evacuations. Like you, they were sometimes bothersome because of the mess. But, they were great when receiving oral. Anyway, I never thought I would miss the ejaculate, but I do...very much. I wish I could get past it, but I want it. I have loads of pre-cum, but it’s not the same. I do have very strong orgasms. I’m thankful for that. I do miss the length also. The doctors never told me penis would be shorter. Anyway, please know that you are not alone. I can empathize with you. It’s just something I’m going to deal with and hopefully minimize the pain of the loss. I’m grateful to be alive. I hope this helps you. Take care!

Tommy

[michael42301 in reply to tommyrobertson]

Sure does, my friend. Thanks.

[HoosierDaddy in reply to tommyrobertson]

Same story here. My dick shrunk so much! If I jack off , it’s now over just as soon as it STARTS feeling good. That’s what bothers me most..... no, ALL of the above.