Hello guys

I'm not the best with expressing my thoughts down onto paper or any type of writing. My thoughts go all over the place leading me to get distracted quite easily. I am glad I found this site. I am beginning to see the hope and support for guys like us. I got this news due to an untimely checkup. I hadn't processed the time that at this age, I need a primary care physician. Routine blood work led to the urologist, and by right before Christmas, I received word that I have prostate cancer.

Sometimes I struggle with the decision of having the prostatectomy. Many days I'm pissed off with the incontinence <no pun intended>. Why shouldn't I be? And I hate that ED is also a part of this journey. So what I bring to this forum is the mere remains of a guy trying to keep on smiling through the prostate disease recovering period.

There's no partner or significant other. Masturbation isn't like it used to be, but I need to feel some sort of self-pleasure or stimulation. I had already asked about when can I do anal again. Thank you to those that replied. For what's it worth, this is my little intro to the group.

16 Replies

  • You and I have a lot in common. I'm gay and single. My PSA was 89 when I went in for a routine physical to finally establish a relationship with a GP. That was in the Fall of 2015. I had a prostatectomy and follow on radiation along with ADT. So it's Ben quite the journey. Now my PSA is rising again but bone scan was negative. I'm switching to a new doctor, an oncologist. So time to come up with next steps. You probably are aware but sometimes it helps to hear that what you are going through is completely normal and there are others who have gone through it before you. That is the best part of this site. Stay positive and work through your plan a day or a week at a time. There are so many new discoveries that I'm hopeful that this will get licked before I meet my end. Best of luck.

  • Best of luck to you as well. Thank you for these words of encouragement.

  • This is a friendly group... and judgement free. We are all in the same boat.

    I was diagnosed just before Christmas too. I had my prostate removed 3-8-17 by Dr. Lee at the University of Pennsylvania. I'm fortunate as I'm back to wearing my regular underwear and get regular erections.

    I don't have a significant other. Except for not having any ejaculate... and having 6 sexy scars, not much else has changed.

    I'm more of a top than a bottom, but sort of look forward (likely in a few weeks) to checking out the passive end of things.

    Anyway... welcome!

  • I am amazed! I did the surgery on Valentine's Day; nonetheless, you're in much better shape than I am. Lucky! Even as a bottom, I look forward to having an erection soon, and I miss my underwear LOL.

  • I am also amazed. Good for you brother! I had my surgery on June 2, 2017.. hoping for a quick return to normalcy, although it seems that your quick recovery is the exception. Enjoy your powers!

  • I'm very happy with my results.

  • I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to keep working your penis and get no response. But please, don't give up. Many guys get a response back 2 or even 3 years after prostatectomy. Penile rehab is important - the pump, the pills, and the trimix.

  • This enlightens me more than before. Thanks!

  • Ced says, "the mere remains of a guy."

    Ced, you may not have seen this story before, so I'll repeat it for you. A couple of years ago, I told my adult son that one of the reasons I keep facial hair is that I feel like it's one of the last vestiges of my masculinity. His reply was quick and insightful: "You are more masculine than most men I know." Same to you, Ced. It's fair to feel the way you do, but you are still all man. Celebrate it.

    Welcome to the group.

  • Thank you so much.

  • No matter what anyone says, after surgery or radiation and hormones, we are never the same. And we never will be. Personally, I regret all the treatments.

  • I know. I'm wrestling with that as well. It's a struggle as well as a shock knowing I have to deal with this chapter of my life.

  • I thought I had done good after surgery, June 13, 2016. An urgency issue, erections so, so. But I seemed to be dealing with it. Then my second follow up showed rising PSA. Went to a Radiation Oncologist and started hormone therapy Feb 1, 2017. Then radiation 2 months later. I stopped the radiation after 15 of 39 treatments. Also stopped the hormone therapy. I just decided I could not take anymore. It has been 2 months since I stopped radiation and hormone treatments. I still am not even close to where I was 2 months after surgery. I feel if I had continued side effects would be irreversible. I had the surgery because I absolutely did not want radiation or hormone therapy.

  • I had the surgery for the same reasons of not wanting the radiation treatment. I assume with technological advancements in medicine, we should have more promising outcomes in our prostate disease and recovery.

  • I so relate to what you've written and are going through. I was diagnosed in 2003 and had the luxury of taking a year to decide on a treatment. I choose Brachytherapy (radio-active seeds were implanted into my prostate) and I made that decision because in the year between diagnosis and the Brachytherapy I determined that radio-active seeds would leave me with the fewest sexual side effects. Not so true: masterbating and orgasming has never been the same. That has been a permanent dark cloud that seems to follow me everywhere when I'm being sexual.

    In 2013 I brought all the paperwork and imaging I had collected to a new urologist I see and because of the diminishment in sexual pleasure I've described here, I asked him if he had been my urologist when I was diagnosed in 2003 would he have agreed with my treatment decision. He was very honest and said that "if I was diagnosed in 2013 we probably would have treated this differently". I interepreted that to mean that I was one of the patients who might not have needed anything more than watchful waiting. If my interpretation of that statement is correct, I think you can see how depressing it still feels to have submitted myself to a treatment I may not have actually needed.

    I'm glad you found this website. I find it comforting--as it sounds you do--to be able to share with men who can relate. Harvey is my name.

  • Harvey, I had meant to reply a lot sooner than now. Thank you for your response to my text. I will agree that this site has comforted me more than anything else happening in my life. Many aren't aware what we survivors are going through. I do hope in time I can appreciate some type of sexual function, but getting my mind to accept this is still a struggle. We all got our stories needless to say.

    Thanks again.

    Cedric or Ced ☺

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