Desperate

I have Peri menopause, hypothyroidism and just realized by reading online that what I thought was possible is actually pmdd. My life has been a nightmare for years and I really can't believe I haven't offed myself yet. Waiting to hear back from the doctor to see what can be done, I can't go through this not one more time : ( when I'm having an episode I cry alot, then I get angry and hateful towards everyone including God, but mostly hate myself to the core. Soon as my period starts I have to climb out of the pit I dug just to get thrown back in in a couple weeks. I hope I can get help, I'm desperate.

10 Replies

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  • I know all about it. I don't really get angry, but I get REALLY, really depressed, dare I say suicidal and I obsess and worry about my relationship. It's so bad, I would do anything to fix it. Do you feel scared and panicky, or just angry?

  • I do get scared and paranoid as well, those feelings are so overwhelming that I resort to anger because it seems easier to deal with although anger causes more problems with the people in my life because I lash out, so it's a no win situation. But on a positive note, I was just prescribed Zoloft and I already take remeron, from what I've been reading this combo is suppose to work miracles so I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Hope is not dead!

  • I hear you on the anger part and the worry and the relationship that goes crazy sour in a heartbeat for 2 weeks. I too have to climb out of the hole. My relationship just recently ended a couple months ago because of it. I just started doing hormonal therapy where they insert pellets inside of me every three months. I've only been on my second session. I've been also working with a therapist and doing EMDR work and cognitive behavioral therapy work.

    I am also taking supplements like dim B6 fish oil and probiotic. I've just been put on an anxiety pill and I just have been introduced to wearing a hormonal boost patch that I will wear for 3 days and change out during the 14 day craze fest.. So far this month I have felt lighter. I'm also trying to work out during these 14 days more than I would and actually spend some time resting and Journaling. I know this sounds like a lot of work and sometimes I try not to focus on how much work it is but in the end if I could feel safer and less worried and anxious and angry. It will be worth it.... I was actually having a serious conversation with my ex last night and I never raised my voice and we didn't fight. We spent four hours talking and feeling and hearing each other. I can only pray that this will continue because I destroyed a relationship with someone I truly truly love

    I'm sorry that you are going through this turmoil. And sharing with you what I'm doing is not to tell you what to do but in hopes that maybe you might find any of these steps helpful for you too. I have been trying to find anything that help release my pmdd.... it's been a long haul and a lot of destructive Behavior and relationships. I know what you're going through and if I can help in any way let me know

    Know you're not alone and there is nothing wrong with you

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think most of us on here have gone through all or a portion of what you have, but each person is unique and each person feels and reacts differently, so only you truly knows your experience. We can certainly empathize with you though and send you a cyber hug. It is frustrating and hard to talk about to those who don't have these issues. I've hidden it for years from people I love the most as I thought they would think I was weak. When I did talk about it, they felt badly, but didn't really understand.

    I applaud you for reaching out to your doctor and trying to find a solution. You are brave and we all must continue to forgive ourselves for how we may have reacted in the past.

    I truly hope your new meds will help. I hope you will report back to us to let you know how they work for you.

    You might also consider trying some of the things our moderator has suggested. She has video links and articles in the "Pinned Posts" section. I have recently started yoga and it is wonderful. You might visit this link: youtube.com/user/yogawithad...

    This wonderful young woman has yoga for about every ailment. I have tried her anxiety yoga and it's great. In the past, I never felt I could do yoga or meditation because I couldn't calm my mind, but I have discovered after doing the videos, that I can follow along and it does take the edge off. The meditation I listen to is from Thomas Hall. He also offers a tone of different meditation videos - all free. I pop in my earphones at night before bed and listen to the stop panic and anxiety one

    Wishing you healing and love!

  • Couldn't have said it better myself, Zazzel. Wonderfully compassionate response.

  • :)

  • I did something similar in my 30's and early 40's, however, I went non stop on the pill. It did help me and I did it for many years. I will let you know that I started getting migraines shortly after I started doing this. Sadly, none of the many doctors I went to regarding the migraines linked it to the contraceptives. I had them for 10 or so years until I decided to stop taking them and suddenly my migraines stopped. Maybe a coincidence, but I don't think so. Please just pay attention to your body. If you see anything out of the norm happening, consider stopping the pill. I'm not saying not to try it or to be afraid to try it, but just to be aware so you aren't stuck with any strange side effects that doctors for some reason don't link to it. :)

  • Oh and one more thing. I just noticed you said perimenopause. When I started having symptoms of perimenopause, my PMDD went through the roof as did my annoyance with my husband. My holistic doctor put my on a natural progesterone ( it is yam based). My gyno now prescribes it. There is no brand name- it is just yam based progesterone. I get it at a compounding pharmacy. I also take Estrovera which is a rhubarb based estrogen source. It completely took away hot flashes and worked on my anger. Between the two of them, I don't have many of the perimenopausal symptoms. I do however still get bad anxiety- thus the yoga, meditation combo.

    And, if your hyperthyroidism is causing high blood pressure, that can cause additional anxiety. I have chronic kidney disease and my blood pressure was going up. As it went up my anxiety level increased. Once I went on blood pressure medicine, my anxiety level also decreased.

  • A big thank-you hug to everyone that left me encouragments and shared knowledge on pmdd. I have hope because #1i put a name to this nightmare #2 after years of keeping it to myself, I reached out for medical help #3i just happen to come across this websitešŸ˜‡and though my heart breaks for all of you, I now know I'm not alone. I'm grateful for that! Big heartfelt prayers going out for all of you, believe that!

  • Theresa.

    I am so sorry you're feeling this way. I wish I could offer some solution but nothing is working for me either. I don't want to keep trying different drugs I just want my body to cooperate. I know the feeling of whats the point? I'm just going to be miserable in a couple weeks anyways. I can't accept the fact the half of my life will be spent suffering terribly. But there's no solution in sight. So what can we do? Keep bracing ourselves for the fall? Keep scheduling our lives around our bad day? Is this any way to live?

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