I missed the World hairdressing championships on BBC 1 last night,
does anyone know if they’re showing the highlights
.
I never knew that the Mandarin for microwave is ping wen dun.
.
.100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.
Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
The stables have turned..
.
.I went for a bite to eat at an upmarket burger van last night...
It had 4 Michelin tyres..
.
.
Life's not good for me at the moment. I've been diagnosed with insomnia and dyslexia.
Being a Catholic means I've spent the last few nights lying awake wondering if there's a dog.
.
.
I sat next to an insurance salesman at a Robbie Williams concert.
And through it all, he offered me protection
.
.
“I knelt to pick a buttercup. Why people leave buttocks lying around I’ll never know...”
.
.
I had this terrible dream last night where I thought I was a member of Herman's Hermits...
Woke up this morning feeling fine.
.
.
.
“I do all the exercises every morning in front of the television - up, down, up, down, up, down. Then the other eyelid.”
.
.
I used to live on a houseboat. I went out with the girl next door for a while but we drifted apart.
.
.
.did you know, that Raymond Burr had a brother that was a lumberjack ?
His name was Tim 😊
