I think it was great that you managed to take the exams, well done for that and for doing so well. I think you will get where you want to be and your confidence will grow. With that you will be more able to press ahead without letting others' words and opinions affect you so much.
None of us can change what other people do or say or think, we can only change the way we let it affect us. It took me a long time to realise that.
Keep in mind that there are people in this community who do care about you.
Congratulations on passing one of the exams Roukaya and the resit you do in January, that will soon come around and you will have had already had the experience and have a good idea of what to expect, so will be better prepared. The pandemic has changed so many people’s lives and plans. I’ve heard on the news another national lockdown could be on its way. We are all waiting for a vaccine so we can start getting on with are lives once more. Trying to get experience at the moment will be virtually impossible with the pandemic going on but you must keep looking forward. Sorry to hear you are in a bad patch with your mum. We care about you here, I know it’s not the same as having close family of friends around you or close by but we do care never the less.Of course only you can understand how you are feeling but we are here. 😊🌸💚
I think the exams and waiting for the result took it out of me and this is why I kept away from the website for a while
I have turned 51 in August and it is dawning on me I cannot spend my life trying to listen and solve my Mother’s worries to my own detriment
She is a very stubborn chart and was doing the shopping of an elderly lady who lives with a Brother
The old lady imposed herself on mum and demands she does her shopping
Plus the old lady may be mixing with a relative who has Covid
The argument took place because I have said I will not be coming at least until I have done the resit
My Mother rang me ten times a day a week before the exam due to problems with tenants
I can no longer give her the support she needs
She can have a very detrimental impact on me and all that I have done for her is taken for granted
I think I remember how she discarded me for the sake of her new man and only became better once age realised she was being used by him
I have seen there is a little practice just opened on my doorstep
I am thinking of going to ask if they could consider me for volunteering within their practice as this would enable me to start gaining familiarity with a legal practice
I find life a struggle like Marnie has explained not all of us have family to turn to
There is mental illness in my Fathers side of the Family so I will learn to draw a boundary against my Mother
I expect I was deeply hurt when she preferred this man over me and if she was with him now her insults would have been very damaging
She is blind to the anxiety I suffer from as this was demonstrated by the two papers
I hope you are keeping well and I do not like to be a burden to anyone
Back in September I had come on here in a furious mood over autumn plans getting cancelled and this morning had been the icing on the cake with that insensitive feature about could Christmas be cancelled this year?
Things will be different this Christmas but no way will it be cancelled.
That feature had brought up anger and resentment over the things earlier in the year that had been cancelled that I had been holding inside.
So pleased for you that you passed your exam, hope you're having a little treat to celebrate, as you say you failed the second exam by a narrow margin so in January I'm sure you'll pass, and before long you'll be posting that you've been offered a job 😊
We do care, I in particular admire your tenacity in keeping on with your studies, despite isolation and unpleasant relatives. (been there, done that many years ago). I think I would have given up long ago.
I was lucky to pass my Nursing exams many years ago, but it wasn't easy.
I'm glad you've come back on.
You have been doing so well lately with the family problems, you have grown in confidence from your early postings here.
Yes, we are both fine,although my son is getting antsy because we are back in lockdown already,and so he can't get things done he would like to.
The weather is absolutely horrible right now rain and really high winds.
Hi Roukaya, Commiserations on missing out on that second pass by such a small margin, but I'm delighted to hear that you are going to press on and try again soon. You will get there, I know!
Well your relationship with your mother is, as always up and down. Some relationships are like that. They seem to thrive on conflict and experience will tell you that this is the case with your mother. Happily you always make it up in the end.... until the next conflict arises. It's ok to be annoyed with her when she's being difficult, so long as you do make it up again later.
You sound as though this has caused you to hit another 'trough' in life, but you will bounce back. You always do. So take care. Don't be too hard on yourself, or on your mother. Your troubles with her aren't a permanent state. Things will get better again. 🙏
I realise that I tried very hard and the results are if no surprise to me
Life is lonely and I expect I must learn to accept the loneliness and isolation given the strength of the pandemic and realise there are many who are alone
In this process learning to realise Mum is a demanding little child who is deeply unhappy at time’s and the realisation that are are all responsible for our own lives
This will be for me to realise ultimately I am not responsible for Mum nor is Mum responsible for me
She has the ability to get me down as my own mental state is tired
Thank you for listening
Well done on taking the exams and you did well, you did pass, don't beat yourself up about a narrow margin.
Unfortunately you cannot change your mother. My husband has the same thing with his mother and she lives 10 minutes from us, I don't see her anymore as I can't but she is selfish and only thinks about herself but we've learnt to just cope with who she is and now just ignore her. I know it's not easy but that's all you can do.
My husband, his sister and brother (his brother lives away) try not to let their mother's behaviour affect them, in fact, there are times now where they laugh about it as she's so demanding, she's 91 but has always acted like a child. My husband and his sister struggle some times but they try their upmost not to let her get to them.
I know it's easier said than done but you'll be able to do it. My brother was appalling to me when I was younger but I've now got over that and moved on, he died around 5 years ago now and I was actually relieved.
You'll be absolutely fine with the re-set. I took the herbal remedy Kalms when I took my driving test years ago and they worked a treat.
You will find strength and determination within, you can do it.👍
Hello Roukaya, I have been wondering how your exams went. Now I know and am delighted you have passed one at least. So congratulations! The other was missed by a margin. So what? It happens! But now you have an idea what to expect in January. You should now use the extra time to just concentrate on filling in the gaps so that you are well and truly ready for the resit.
I also think its a good idea to discuss becoming a volunteer in that little practice you mentioned. This will give you purpose as well as helping you to meet other people. Volunteers are invaluable in every walk of life and if you are accepted you will be valued for the skills you have already acquired and willing to share, all of which will go a long way to building up your confidence. So do follow this up.
As for your mother. I would think by now you understand that the relationship with your mother is difficult and is unlikely to change. Just accept you are one of thousands of people who experience similar problems. Do what you can, when you can to support her but try not to dwell on just her. Importantly, try to lead a fulfilling life for yourself.
Sent with my best wishes for your future happiness.
Hi Roukaya pleased to know that you've got your exam results back and that you're back in the community, I'd hoped that your relationship with your Mum had improved a little as you were showing so much solidarity over the business with your cousins wedding, there are probably always going to be ups and downs within your relationship, when they crop up you could look back on how supportive you were of each other during that time xx
Hi Roukaya
We are all here for you. Many congratulations on passing one of your exams and you only failed the other by a narrow margin so I'm sure you will pass it in January. Your confidence has come in in leaps and bounds since joining this community. I know you will still do lots for your Mum but you won't let her drag you down. You are a very strong lady. I do by you have managed to ask about volunteering at that new practice. Lots of love and hugs Lynne xxxx ❤️💜
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