I don't even know what day it is. - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
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I don't even know what day it is.

Square251
Square251

Does anyone else feel this way? Every day is the exact same. I do absolutely nothing. It doesn't look like it'll be over any time soon either.

188 Replies
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Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator

Hi Square251,

Since the lockdown/order to stay inside, I've been keeping track of creating lists so I can have a goal to do something each day. Some days do seem to be exactly a like, but with some changes here and there. For example, I called my doctor's office yesterday to see if they would be opened. On Friday, I plan to call them back this week and request that when my appointment is scheduled mid-May, I want to have a virtual appointment instead of coming in for that same day as scheduled before COVID 19 started. This would be good since I have to go to this doctor every 4 months. I hope this helps answer your question. :-)

How are you doing this evening?

I tried to make a list of goals but I never stuck to it no matter how hard I tried. I don't know how I'm doing honestly. I just feel numb.

Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator
in reply to Square251

It's understandable to feel like that. Do you call or send messages to your friends?

Not really. I've been completely isolating myself. I'm not sure why. I just don't have it in me to talk to anyone.

Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator
in reply to Square251

Do you have any favorite magazines or books to read?

No, I don't read much. I just play games which is becoming a serious problem as I do nothing else.

Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator
in reply to Square251

Do you have a deck of playing cards?

Probably but I don't know where.

Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator
in reply to Square251

Do you have a 'junk' drawer? My parents keep some deck of cards in ours.

I recently moved so I probably didn't bother with junk.

Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator
in reply to Square251

Congratulations on the new place! That’s exciting.😀👍 When you’re ready and settled in, you can see what you have stored.

When I moved, it took me a while to find everything and rearrange it for my place.😀👍🌈

Thanks. It doesn't matter though, it's just as messy as my old place.

Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator
in reply to Square251

Give it time. 😀👍 You can do the rearranging.

Not in this mental state though.

Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator
in reply to Square251

Take your time and relax. Going slow is the best way to do the rearranging. Less stress.😀👍

I really can't though. I don't have energy to do anything.

Gravety
Gravety
in reply to Square251

I've been feeling low and tired with other symptoms and it prompt me to review my thyroid levels (with Medicheck - Currently 25% off). I'm awaiting the results. Worth checking out your condition.

Square251
Square251
in reply to Gravety

I really don't think it's my thyroid as there are other symptoms.

Yvette49
Yvette49
in reply to Square251

Hi again, Square251

Who was/is your favourite comedian ?

Xx

Square251
Square251
in reply to Yvette49

I don't really have one.

Activity2004
Activity2004Moderator
in reply to Square251

What other symptoms are you having?

I meant that thyroid problems have other symptoms I don't have.

Yvette49
Yvette49
in reply to Square251

Hi Square251, can you find your favourite chef, or Artist on YouTube perhaps? Lovely to watch 😁

Sending big hug 🤗

I can really relate to where you are. For weeks I didn’t feel up to talking to anyone, even a friend who had had a serious heart operation. Must admit I felt uncomfortable when she rang to check on me. I am slowly getting to contact friends and family. I aim to make one call each day but don’t always manage it. But I am getting there. Do hope you are feeling better soon.

Mary

Hi Activity2004

I don't have to make lists, my wife makes the "honey do list" for me. I get lost on what day it is because my wife is working different hospital departments and they are making a lot of changes as to her days off. She is off today which is abnormal. Next week she goes to 7 days a week. :)

Today is Tuesday April 28th, 2020. It is the day I can expect a delivery of five 14lbs jugs of cat litter. I started journaling and it helps me remember the day. I take care of my children's cats while they are away.

I once was in an aftercare support group were on person simply listed what they since the last group meeting.

My list today would be

7:50 wake,

take, meds

Bathroom

Feed and water indoor cats and outdoor cats

Frozen breakfast meal Oprah Egg white meal

Go back to bed because of severe weakness, sharp back pain and muscle cramps from having accomplished day yesturday.Sleep again, wake to answer phone call for someone's business

10:00 am found show on netflix "Let Down"

Took calls from doctors office to schedule bloodwork and followup apt

2:00 anxiety med

3:00 went to see if it was still to hot for me to stay outside

3:30 called kid to remind her of video apt

3:31 called mom

Called brother on Duo and found could take call outside, rapid temperature change, windy, storm is coming.

4:31 and now will turn to tornadohq.com

Severe weather threat puts me into action.

Living alone, under isolation, to sick to care for my children so someone else has them for now.

I clearly nead to express myself in my journal I dug up when life with my family changed as I know it . Darn plague. Darn MS, darn anxiety, dreadful for new Rx for mentalhealth. 15 more days till it's full affect kicks in.

Now watching farmer working a field.

Writing this stuff down makes me feel like i actually did do something.

Advise I watched sunday, was a video to make your bed everyday.

I make a perfect slob bachelor.

Square251
Square251
in reply to 68degrees

I did try to make a journal but I never stick to it no matter how hard I try.

I keep track with cell phone. Sometimes I day ahead. I text 2 or 3 friends I always put date on. It helps. I watch news little. Try to be focused on what I do just for today, keep log what I must do Tomm. I pray at night it helps.

Yea, I feel like I’m living a nightmare but when I wake up I know it’s real. I’m suffering mentally, paid for gas forgot to pump it and paid for groceries left them in the store. Things like that, Definitely forget what day it is sometimes I’m trying to make an appointment with a new psychologist I got to talk to someone? Don’t know how much more of this I can take? I had a friend that I was talking to, I think she’s done talking to me lately she’s been Rude and dismissive with Me. So I’m Not calling her anymore, I can take a Hint 😞

I hope your appointment goes well. I gave up on psychologists to be honest.

I understand that, I’ve changed them several different times. Hopefully I’ll get lucky? 🤞🏼

Been there, done that with groceries and gas pre pandemic. If you are in the USA there is the national multiple sclerosis society. With navigators that may be able to give you guidance.

I don’t have MS, just injured my knee, getting therapy for it. Thanks

Poodie
Poodie
in reply to Want2BHappy3

Hi want t b happy.

I am sorry about your friend. Did you get an app’t yet ?

I live alone and it has been a drag. 2 days ago I got very sicl. Severe stomach pain and vomiting. No sleep but little nibbles for almost 2 days. On the mend and still did not cave and smoke. Ovet 16 months

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits
in reply to Barndog

Well done on quitting smoking and not going back in these stressful times

68degrees
68degrees
in reply to Barndog

Great job not caving to smoking. You are stronger than me.

Poodie
Poodie
in reply to 68degrees

Hi 68.

Congrats re quitting smoking. I wish my son would quit. What made you decide to quit ?

Take care. Glad you are over whatever you had.

68degrees
68degrees
in reply to Poodie

You must have meant to congratulate someone else. I struggle with quiting but I have cut back as I can't go outside as spring turns to summer and the temperature rises. I have a couple packs left and today I hope to not go have another one.

Poodie
Poodie
in reply to 68degrees

Yes I did. I put my reply in the wrong place. I hope you are smoke free someday also.

This self isolation has become a numbing experience for me. I have numbness in feet and hands, due to peripheral neuropathy. Now, additionally, I feel a numbness/disconnect with going out amongst other people. I am terrified that my wife or I will get the COVID-19 🦠 ! So, I don’t particularly even want to talk to neighbors, or strangers, or even on the phone. I have lists upon lists, of things, I should do, while I have a lot of time, on my hands, around the house. I have a lot to keep me busy! Yet, I seem, at this point, to be somewhat lazy and lethargic, and would rather just sit, and read, and blog, and figure out ways to get food in the house, without having to go out and being around others. Maybe I’m letting the invisible enemy, scare me so much, because my wife and I are in a very vulnerable class of people, who are susceptible to getting the Big Bad Vírus! Also, I am worried, and upset, because my daughter and Son-in-Law are medical professionals. My Son-in -Law is a hospital Doctor, whose main job, right now, is taking care of COVID-19 patients, on ventilators, in the hospital. I fear for his safety, because he is probably exposed to getting the 🦠 virus! Two of my grandchildren work at grocery stores, and they could, inadvertently, be exposed to the virus! This all seems to be a bit much to take in, for an elderly person, like me, who has to deal with an incurable chronic disease every day, and is a caregiver for a wife, who is in heart failure, kidney failure, and has insulin-dependent diabetes! Sorry about the ranting! I don’t feel sorry for myself, but I am very concerned about loved ones! I’m sure there are lots of people in the same boat as me! These are extraordinary times, where the New Normal is not really Normal, in any way, shape, or form. This pandemic, with the USA, having more counted infections and deaths, than anywhere else in the world, because of this COVID-19, the microscopic killer enemy, is something to be fearful about! In my lifetime, I’ve never seen or heard of any pandemic, including SARS, EBOLA, MARBURG, HIV, or some FLU’s, C-DIFF ( which is what my Dad died from), cause this many worldwide deaths, and infections, and still remain uncontrolled in it’s infectious ability, of being an airborne 🦠 virus, that’s so contagious that it can easily infect huge crowds of people, with a gestation time, of about two weeks, before symptoms appear, and people realize, with horror, that they have this terrible coronavirus ( COVID-19 )! I am taking every precaution, I can think of, for my wife and myself, but it does not allay my fear and anxiety! So, each day I wake up to the same concerns and fear, and, please don’t ask me what day of the week it is, because I don’t have a clue! I guess I must be in survival mode! I truly hope this pandemic goes away soon, and that our lives will stop being so drastically affected, by this microscopic 🦠 virus, that plagues humanity.! Hopefully, a workable, safe vaccine, will be ready, to help people, within the next year!

Thelmarina
Thelmarina
in reply to ddmagee1

You have a lot on your plate and now wonder you are worried. You sound as if you are doing all in your power to protect yourself and support your wife and in truth you can’t do more. Your worries for the people you love have been exacerbated by this crisis - I feel the same for my much loved niece, A&E consultant for a major London hospital. But I know it’s also about letting go, letting those we love make their own decisions and run their own risks. Soooo hard! And on the larger scale of things we had a delightful neighbour when I was child, who said when things are impossible and your back is against the wall All you can do is “let go, let God”. I am not religious but I always bring this to mind when I’m up against it - and feel a sense of release and shifting of a burden when I do so. I hope all goes well for you. 🌺

ddmagee1
ddmagee1
in reply to Thelmarina

How very kind of you to favor me, with such an inspirational reply, Thelmarina! As my wife says, “when the going gets rough, and you’ve done all you can, turn the rest over to God”!

Midori
MidoriVisually impaired
in reply to ddmagee1

One thing I spotted in your post was that you had many things to do, but preferred to not address them. This I understand, when I get down, I hide from what I should be doing, doing anything else but face these tasks. Forgetting what day it is; that too, although it could be just that you are losing track because there is no variation in your days and they run into each other. I have that too.

My son is my carer, he has learning difficulties, and hates new situations where he has no experience. He too has lost track, and hope, even his beloved models are unfinished, and I never thought I'd ever see that day!

Here in UK, we are even more tightly in lockdown than you are in the States. I was lucky enough to move to Wales, another part of UK, before lockdown, but it is causing problems of another sort. Refurnishing, as my furniture would not fit in my new and smaller house. Nearly all stores, except foodstores, drugstores and hardware stores are closed, and restaurants and pubs have switched to cooking and packing food for Hospital workers, Fire, Police and Ambulance Services, as they are otherwise closed, and Emergency personnel can't shop safely.

Anyway, I digress. what I was wanting to say is you sound depressed, could you chat with your doctor and maybe get some antidepressants? It might help you get some purpose back in your life, and help you to help both yourself and your wife. I'm a former nurse myself, and I can recognise the early signs of depression.

Cheers, Midori

ddmagee1
ddmagee1
in reply to Midori

Cheers Midori! I sure appreciate your reply! You are very perceptive. Yes, I will admit that I am depressed. I take medicine, that has been prescribed for this ailment. All the medicine and cognitive counseling in the world, cannot change how hard it has been for me, since last September, 2019, however! That was when my Mom, who lived alone in another state, was found, by her neighbor, sitting in a chair, in her family room, in great distress, The neighbor called 911, and the ambulance came out. My Mom couldn’t reach her phone, on the ground, by her chair, because it was found that she was in severe pain, from fractures, of both her arms-humerus bone, near the shoulder. It was also, found, that she suffered from a serious, inoperable stroke. This was extremely upsetting to me and my family. I will spare you more details, but, to make a long story short, my Mom had been attacked, and she lingered for about three weeks, before she died, succumbing to another stroke, while in hospice care! So, with police, coroner, funeral, and then completely remodeling her home, with my brother and pros, to get it sold, I’ve been incredibly busy! The death of my Mom was traumatic for all of us in the family, and the house was finally sold last week! Then, the frosting on the cake, was when the coronavirus, COVID-19, arrived, and my son-in-law, a Doctor, was put in charge of the COVID-19 ICU ward, at our regional hospital! I don’t feel sorry for myself with these predicaments, but, rather, feel helpless at being unable to fix the fear and dread I have, that the virus really is a threat to me, my wife, and, perhaps, my son-in-law! Also, it doesn’t seem like it’s going away anytime soon, and, unfortunately, here in the USA, the governments ( National, State, and Local), and many hospitals, were not prepared very well for a pandemic like this. Preparations and isolating people, and planning was delayed. The USA, now, has the highest rate of infection and mortality, in the world, according to statistics. We have a lot of chaos and divisiveness amongst leadership, which is hard to accept. So, I believe I have good reason for feeling down, rather than being my usual optimistic self, at this time! I’m hoping we can get through this, in my family, without any more tragedies. When I can be assured of a workable vaccine, to combat the threat of getting COVID-19, perhaps I’ll worry a little less, and feel more spirited, for getting tasks accomplished. Again, thanks for caring!

Midori
MidoriVisually impaired
in reply to ddmagee1

Absolutely no problem; It must have been terrible to find your mother like that and in so much pain. I can understand how bad it must be for you, have been in a similar predicament myself in the past, when my husband committed suicide, at home, leaving me with two children aged 3 and 1.

A long story which you could find out if you track back my history here, I won't burden you with it here, but this site has been a godsend to me.

Never be worried that you won't be taken seriously, there are many good folk here and the Admin Teams are excellent, so when we do get the occasional troll.,we can get them out before they can do a lot of damage.

This is a site of support and kindness.

Cheers, Midori

ddmagee1
ddmagee1
in reply to Midori

Thanks Midori! I’m so sorry to hear about your husband! That had to have been the worst time for you! What a terrible tragedy, and then you had to find a way forward, with a 3 and 1 year old to care for! I have no idea, how you managed to get through all that! 20 years ago, my best friend committed suicide, in front of his wife. I had recently retired, and had moved out of the city, and state, and moved to the Northern part of another state, so I had not seen him, for about 6 months. I’ll spare you, the gruesome details. He left behind, a wife, and 3 young children. So sad that their seems to be so much hurt and sadness in the world today. We must, however, carry on, and find a way to get through these perilous times. I agree, Midori, this website has been a Godsend for me, as well! I have made good friends, who understand, here, and have helped me to overcome obstacles in my path, of dealing with Parkinson’s, in particular. Also, the administrative staff has been very supportive and helpful. I found out, by communicating this way, that others with PD, are the best, at being able to help me understand, and help take care of myself, and how to deal with the many aspects of day to day, living with Parkinson’s. Actually, I have found that I get very little support from my local medical community, and lukewarm support, at times, from family and friends, some of whom, don’t have a clue what it’s like to handle the ups and downs of having Parkinson’s and Cerebellar Ataxia! So, thanks again for being so supportive! You are appreciated, Midori! Wishing you, and yours, only the best!

Gaileeoh
Gaileeoh
in reply to Midori

I agree Midori,

Sir, I really think you have Major Clinical Depression. I say that because I have it and most of what you wrote has come out of my mouth verbatim at some point in my life. I am a 60 year old woman who continues to struggle for half her life now.

The first half of your story convinces me. I really hope you can get some help.

I also am a Social worker and a psychiatric nurse so these things I know of.

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits
in reply to Thelmarina

Hope your neice stays safe must be a worry

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits
in reply to ddmagee1

Your so right you've gone into survival mode as we all have to some degree. You've got such a lot on your plate though so bound to be harder for you especially with concern not only for you and your wife but children. All I can say is keep safe and all those other 'chores' will still be there when all this over.it is hard to get motivated when doing nothing. Take care

I don't know what is going on or what day it is, so don't ask me either! I have to look out the window to know whether it is night or day. I too spend ages on-line doing this or arranging ways to get food etc. I don't know what's going on. I'm shit-scared asthmatic and very recently had pleurisy and my liver's not in good shape (I've been alcoholic since i was 18 and I'm 55 now). My doctor's surgery won't accept ordering repeat prescriptions over the phone- they say someone has to go in there with the prescription slip. WTF! the very health care people completely going against their own advice! Good luck ddmagee1.

Good luck to you, too!! I don’t care for this Topsy Turvy, new way of living! There has to be a better way, but don’t ask me what that may be.

Yes, there must be, until we find it take care and best wishes

Yes. Same, more or less. And now I am starting to think ‘even when its over, will it ever be back to normal, and what was that normal anyway, I forgot already’.

Greenthorn
Greenthorn
in reply to magih

Well what we had wasn't exactly normal. People crammed into tube trains like sardines, polluted air, hunger in 3rd world countries, materialism etc. Your comment made me remember the Stan Laurel (Oliver and Hardy) quote "I forget what I forgot". I can't see anything bring quite normal again. The worst thing is the prospect of the elderly and vulnerable being classified as such and bring prohibited from visiting their relatives and friends. My remedy right now is to focus on nature. and thank God I have a small garden.

magih
magih
in reply to Greenthorn

Well, Im glad I made you laugh at least!

Yes, things needed to change but I worry that its a case of ‘be careful what you wish for’☹️

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits
in reply to Greenthorn

Yes let's hope that when this over don't go back to the old normal but have a.new and improved normal

ddmagee1
ddmagee1
in reply to Greenthorn

It’s really hard for me, and my wife, to deal with being prohibited, inadvertently, from seeing children, grandchildren, family and friends! I’m sure there are many that feel likewise, so, this new normal isn’t exactly, my cup of tea, to put it nicely!

Greenthorn
Greenthorn
in reply to ddmagee1

I wonder when we came through the 2nd World War did it ever seen normal again. I think of the soldiers away from their families and I think each of us has to be stronger. I'm separated from my wife and 12 year old son. Ordinarily I am able to see them every 2-3 weeks but not now. Yes it's hard. Thankfully I can make video calls. I get reassurance from Baroness Ros Altmann MP who is fiercely critical of the Government for suggesting the over 70s should be in lockdown longer. She oints out that many over 70s and 80s are healthier than 40s to 60s. That we should not be discriminated against. And I am gladdened that she will continually be a voice for our interests.

Nothing is ever the same. Times do change. Perhaps there can be more attention to health and mother earth. More support to the NHS.More safeguards in Care Homes. More cohesion internationally. Not many of us like the expression "New World Order". It has sinister undertones. But we need to recognise that we are of one planet and we need to take care of it.

I took to my unmade bed since the lockdown.Only get up to collect my ordered food on a weekly basis at my front door.

Me too but I've now got bed sores on my bum! so be careul and try and move around a bit - i.e do what i say not what i actually do!!!

How about going very slowly into doing something, either new or something that you liked before all this faff (don't think it's a real word). How about get up & make a drink every hour, walk around a different room every day (mentally thinking what you would like to do). Even (if you have one) explore a little bit of the garden & see if you have any hidden gems. Just take little baby steps & have a treat when you accomplish the smallest thing. Hope this can give you a gentle wake up call. Take care & try to stay positive. Good luck, Chris

I don't even have the energy to do that. I just play a specific game all day and do nothing else.

magih
magih
in reply to Square251

It has some attraction I admit. I’d have to have a bath at night though.

01776
01776
in reply to Square251

Hi Square251,

I appear to be doing the same as you. I have developed an addiction, or is it an escape measure, to playing online Mahjong. I keep on trying to put my laptop aside and attempt to do other things. But then, back I come to online Mahjong. Life, as we used to know it, has ceased. Unless some measures are loosened, then the NHS will be overwhelmed with mental health issues that will overtake Covid - 19 issues. Only living in a small flat, with no garden, makes me feel like I would have a far more regimented life in a state prison. Plus, my meals would be provided, which would be a plus, as I don't want to bother to cook anymore. I do, on certain days, make my bed, but if I arrive at the point where I fail to do this, then I would be better off ceasing to exist. That is my take on this situation, and I in no way infer that it should be for others. Serving time, without doing the crime!

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits
in reply to 01776

Sorry your feeling like that is there another activity you could try rather than all computer games doing puzzles jigsaws etc staring at a screen all day will upset your rhythm due to the blue light

01776
01776
in reply to Craftyperson

Hi Craftyperson,

I do suffer from insomnia, but this has been a persistent problem for quite a few years now. I do understand about the blue light scenario. However, I had used to paint and draw, bake, knit etc, but because of my continual health worries, plus my husband's, I am sure that I have had a breakdown of sorts. My husband suffers from Bi-Polar disorder, and we now live in a small flat which I really hate. As soon as we moved into this flat, my husband had a major episode and was hospitalised for a couple of months. I was left holding the fort, without transport, and with no local amenities. I then proceeded to fall halfway down my stairs, which caused two fractures to my right foot, plus an injury to my right arm.

Last November, I am convinced that I suffered from Covid - 19, and was seriously ill for months. As a result of this, I eventually contracted pneumonia and was stuck in this flat for nearly 2 months. Yes, I survived, but just a week before Christmas I suffered a mini stroke, this really scared me, as I am always burdened with one stressor or another. I have been put on a seven month waiting list to see a neurologist, and this was even before Covid - 19 was recognised nationally. So, I really feel knocked for six, but I know that there are a lot of people far worse off than me. However, I appear to be living in what feels like a prison to me now, and I really hate it. My other health issues include : Osteo Arthritis, thrombocytopenia, which is an auto-immune disease, gall bladder problems, which include gallstones, cardiovascular disease, macular degeneration, which is dry, at present. Now, the mini stroke is like the straw that broke the camel's back. I have to continually monitor my husband as he has not been the same since his last manic episode. His drug regimen is sometimes changed, which is always a worry. I cannot burden him, as he cannot cope with problems, full stop. I really need to get out and about again to save my sanity, as I usually attend a reading group, plus a writing group, both based at my local library. If any of these outlets are withheld from me for much longer, I will fall into more of a state of despair. Thank you very much for replying to me, as I do appreciate it.

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits
in reply to 01776

Oh dear you have had a time of it and worse in that you don't like your new flat that your now stuck in. Have you discussed all this with your Dr maybe meds or talking to a therapist may help. Here's hoping you can get out soon though you are in high risk catagory. Have you tried lavender that's supposed to help sleep maybe a lavender bath before going to bed and a lavender room spray or diffuser. Sending a.big hug🤗🤗

ShelWhitt
ShelWhitt
in reply to 01776

Think we are all feeling this way. I have been suffering badly (pain wise) since the weekend. I am not very well generally, bad headaches. etc. etc. with fibro and other problems, including anxiety and am beginning to think maybe depression. Making things worse is that DH has dementia and is barely mobile. We haven't been doing too badly until recently, then WHAM. Suddenly, I am now resenting having to do all the jobs and think about everything without any support; am getting irritable and angry with DH because he is forever asking questions and telling me how ill he feels, when I don't feel well, and obviously he has no initiative to do anything, unless I ask him. We are rowing a lot because I don't feel he appreciates just how much I am doing; he argues if I ask him to do anything, and shows no interest at all in my wellbeing. It is all about him and what he is having for meals, etc. I would love him to show a little affection, once in a while, give me a hug or a cuddle, as I i know it would help a lot but for some reason, he just won't. Don't ask me why. I have tried to discuss it with him; told him it would mean a lot. But to no avail. His answer is always the same,"I do hug and cuddle you, I don't know what you are talking about"! Changes the subject. And then yet another row ensues. I don't know if he is aware that he doesn't show my any affection; doesn't care; is simply being awkward and stubborn, yet again, or is simply living in his own little world. Whatever, it makes things more difficult. Please let this end soon for all our sakes! Thank you all for listening, sharing, supporting and being there for each other. xx

01776
01776
in reply to ShelWhitt

Hi shelWhitt,

I do understand how you are feeling, and the stress that we are under only makes our physical symptoms worse. We naturally will feel pain more as our nerves are hypersensitized.

My husband sits around a lot and tires very quickly after doing something very minor. I am sometimes speaking to him, and as I am looking at him his head is way down on his chest, and his eyes are closed. If we cannot get out i.e. to do grocery shopping, he will remain like this for the majority of the day. Dead on the dot, at 11.pm, he rises from his chair and announces that he is going to bed. I wonder why, when he has been sleeping for most of the day. I cannot sleep, and have suffered from insomnia for quite a few years, however, the situation that we are all in now, hardly induces us to want to sleep.

We have numerous arguments, as I, too, resent having to do most of the household jobs. As for mealtimes, well, my husband is in and out of the kitchen for the short time that he is conscious. I am expected to prepare all of the main meals, despite not having much of an appetite.

I, too, do not receive any cuddles, and have had to sleep on my own for the last 24 years of our 29 year marriage. I still resent this situation, as sleeping separately can drive people apart. However, I have to keep a sense of humour in times of trial, and an example of this, was when my husband was last hospitalised with a Bi-Polar episode. I went to visit him one day, and he broke down in tears and said 'I cannot come home and be the same man that I used to be.' I replied 'well, that is alright as there may be some improvement then.' It is not really funny, but it gets me by.

My husband's medication does numb him emotionally, and certain drugs are referred to as chemical straight jackets. I don't know if your husband is on any medication, as this could be a part of his appearing to 'live in his own little world.' He may, by all accounts love you very much, but is unable to convey this to you, as my husband is unable to convey his emotions to me. However, we all feel the need for demonstrative affection, it is all part of the human condition. But some of us have to get by with what we have, and even though we may be short changed in that direction, it has built our character. I am sure that you are a strong woman, and others have described me as such. So let us celebrate our emotional strength. Take heart, as Boris has to make some decisions pretty soon, otherwise the general public will make them for him. 😊😊👍

ShelWhitt
ShelWhitt
in reply to 01776

01776. Thank you so much for responding. It feels great to chat with someone who living with a similar situation, who so obviously understands. My thoughts are with you as I can totally relate to what you are going through, and I think a little empathy does go a long way. I am happy to chat to you any time, if you feel it would help at all. Not that I am belittling any of the help and support I have had previously on this site. There really are the most wonderful people, all willing to help and who do care. Everyone has been brilliant, in particular The Driven Snow and Lynne who never stop giving out help and support even through they are both

going through the most horrible problems themselves. Take care and sending hugs!!

Hi there square251. So sorry to hear how you are feeling. The worst thing for you is doing nothing. Forget about lists - they may feel insurmountable. Best thing to do is to pick something (even a small task) and do it. This sometimes helps you to get started. Then pick another thing to do and do it. At first only pick things you like to do. You will find when you go to bed it’s good to go over these small accomplishments and to consider what you will do tomorrow.

I had my 78 birthday yesterday. It was the weirdest birthday ever but I was determined to enjoy it. I have several health issues and find it hard to keep going but the alternative is just to sit and watch my life go by. I live with my 80 year old sister and we try to keep busy. I know it would be much worse to be alone.

I phone my old-age friends as I know they are all feeling stressed like me. Each day I try to phone 1 or 2.

Don’t let Covid win. Fight back and support others.

Sending you virtual hugs.

Square251
Square251
in reply to Jelbea

I tried but I failed like always.

Midori
MidoriVisually impaired
in reply to Square251

Do you have an internal voice telling you it's no good, it'll never get better? I used to have one, until I told it to take a long hike, because I wasn't going to listen anymore.

My husband committed suicide. leaving me with two small children and a bunch of debt, and for a long time I didn't know where to turn, or even if I wanted to.

My husband had been an abuser, and he had mentally and physically beaten me into the ground to the point where I didn't know what to do. The needs of the children brought me to my senses eventually, but I continued to be depressed for many years, then one day I realised he was Still controlling me, so I told my inner voice to do one and started fighting back. It wasn't easy, but I eventually managed.

Cheers, Midori

ShelWhitt
ShelWhitt
in reply to Midori

Good for you. Hope you are in a better place now. It has got to be better that living with the former situation particularly with things as they are now!Take care.

ShelWhitt
ShelWhitt
in reply to Square251

You did the right thing coming on this site. We are all friends and all understand suffering others are going through, whatever it is. We all have different problems, but we e all listen and try to help. But even if we can't help putting you anxieties down onon paper is sometimes cathartic and makes you feel a little better. I don't know your situation and if you are fastened in all the time it must be horrific. I have been having a bad few days mentally, but we do at least have a small garden and in the recent good weather I found it relaxing just to sit outside and listen to the birds and look at all the lovely blossom on the trees, whilst at the same time reflecting that I was a lot better off than some. Try to find something that brings a smile to your face. I know it is hard. I find my childhood memories, and memories of when my children and grandchildren were little do that for me. Try it at least!

Greenthorn
Greenthorn
in reply to Jelbea

The best advice so far. In a way, this lockdown thing I'd like being given a new set of spectacles. At first we can't focus well, things are blurry. We have to train our eyes to look differently, like switching to a different kind of focus, a different perspective.One where nature takes a prominent role. 9ne less hurried or frantic. One more accepting of the life we have.

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits
in reply to Jelbea

Happy belated birthday 🎉🎂 for yesterday

You're not alone in that Square, I have to check computer or phone to know the day, and the time. I'm high risk and depressed about a relationship breakup which happened nearly two years ago but I feel worse about it now than ever. I just stuff my head full of Netflix, don't really care what it is but just need the noise. That's all I do, I try gardening sometimes but my heart can't take it. And now my sleep pattern has been reversed, awake all night, scared to go to sleep, and get a few hours dozing in the day. I wish I could give you an answer that helped. All I can say is that you're not alone.

My arthritis is worse too, coz of just doing nothing . I hardly even bother to wash, have stopped shaving and the only activity I do is spraying bleach everywhere. I 've even developed bed sores onh arse!

But I'm sure Activity2004 is right. Making a list of just a few things you can do each day will help, I'm just not good at doing that though,I think I make them too ambitious. Even just one or two things is probably best.

But take care and try to text or phone any friends / family when you can.

Good luck and keep posting

Mike

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

You take care too and try doing a small thing each day as you say, you don't want that bed sore to get worse so try and be a little more active

I know it scares me to death, when I’ll be able to see my grandchildren again! I’m getting older too, how. Much time do I have!

You are in a very grey place, and looking at your responses to the suggestions made, I am wondering if it would be a good idea to set up a chat with your GP and talk through the feelings you have. You may need some extra help to get you through the next stage of this weird state of suspended animation - have you someone who could help do this if you haven’t the energy? You don’t mention your circumstances. Entering into the fifth week of social isolation is quite something and there are ups and downs - but too many downs need attention. 😀. Do let us know how you get on..❤️

I gave up on therapy to be honest.

Well this is the perfect place to have a good old fashioned moan! I hope that has helped 😀

All that free time and you are doing nothing, that's crazy you should be doing loads of things.

Hi Square251 can you go outside even to just sit in the sun or go for a walk. Outdoors is a great help. Feed the birds. When the robin or blackbirds come down it gives me a great lift. And lots of sparrows. They all love suet bites you can order from Amazon. Jigsaws become very addictive and can get online. I get fed up some days and had my daily calender a day early one time. But we're all staying safe. I live alone and it is harder than say for a couple (who get along) or people with family. A short walk keeping clear of people passing helps as sometimes they nod or wave feom across the street. Good luck, at least we don't have the virus.

Square251
Square251
in reply to Peileen

I can't go outdoors. It's too risky.

What’s too risky?

Greenthorn
Greenthorn
in reply to Peileen

Good reply. The garden is a blessing and we need to focus on nature as you say. PS I think Square 251 shd go back to Square 1. Part of me tells me he/she is having us on.as the responses are so negative. It might be good for this person to become angry!

Greenthorn
Greenthorn
in reply to Peileen

Well I never knew birds could do jigsaw puzzles! I have been putting out crumbs and things, mixed fruit, chopped walnuts etc. I'm no expert on bird food but I'm ready to pick up tips. Yesterday I saw a pidgeon feasting on all the goodies. This was NOT what I had planned!

It's difficult at this time for everyone. Can you find a new hobby? Learn something new.

Free online courses for all tastes. Research family history -although it costs money at some point.

Do you like music? Plenty documentaries on You Tube about history of favourite bands and musicians. Any local online community groups you can join? Plenty free films on You Tube. Plenty free Amazon kindle books.

Keep your spirits up,

Square251
Square251
in reply to James48

I just don't have it in me to learn anything new. Even with games. That's why I keep playing the same game. Because I can't learn anything new.

Jelbea
Jelbea
in reply to Square251

If you have energy to play the same game all day you have energy to do something else instead.

Hi Square251,

I'm exactly the same, every day doing nothing and yes no end in sight!!!! I've taken to baking (which I love), only thing is with only me n hubby to eat it all we're piling on the weight (feel like Mrs blobby 😂 😂 Diet will definitely start when this all over, by which time I'll not be able to get out front door 🚪. Stay safe and keep your chin up... ☀ 🌈 🌈 🌈 🌈

Lol,I know you mean ,I don't bother anymore it taxes the brain, hoping I know what to do after the virus has gone 🤔🤔🤔

Groundhog Day 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣

Hi

I feel exactly the same, I don't even want to get up it seems pointless. I tried to exercise but did more damage than good so in more pain. I'm just keep wondering why I am still on this planet

Square251
Square251
in reply to Mac333

I feel the exact same way.

Snowdrops_17
Snowdrops_17
in reply to Mac333

We all get these thoughts sometimes! Just get out of bed please, wash your face, get a coffee or whatever, go outside into your garden or walk around the block as my parents used to say. I have lived in a city when I was young, and boy did we get mucky from playing outside....but we managed. We also lived in a flat, 2 bedroom with parents and 4 kids altogether..... if you linger on what you "FEEL" All The Time, you end up so depressed, no wonder you don't want to live any more! Call friends, family.... talk to people online. Some elderly folks dont like internet, Facebook, Twitter Instagram etc YouTube, bbciplayer, itviplayer, they cut themselves off...... if they have no laptop or good mobile phone I understand that. Gosh how isolated some people lived before now they are remote isolated. I know it's hard right now..... but dont let your feelings punish you more...... I had to get a Grip to....all I can say stay determined, have a daily routine, do something... Right????

🤔🥴😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😂🤣😂🤣

Or make yourself laugh with a joke, crazy hairstyle or facial mask 😂🤣😁🤣💜

Mac333
Mac333
in reply to Snowdrops_17

Thank you longsider. I did try but just find it hard to focus on anything. I used to love reading but no more, I used to enjoy certain films but no more. I haven't dressed in proper clothes for weeks just lay around in my PJs. But I will keep trying.

Snowdrops_17
Snowdrops_17
in reply to Mac333

You can do it, come on..... Get up in the morning, wash your face, comb your hair, make breakfast and get some clothes on or tracky bottom, Tshirt and a hoody. That's me. If I go out shopping, jeans, top, socks and coat, of cause, shoes as well😁

I have been doing some gardening well pruning overgrown shrubs, no chance last year because of heart attack. It's hard work and tires me out. But we all need to try and keep ourselves occupied. I text my children and others on here or on messenger and WhatsApp.

Well, I live on my own but I have my faith in God , a spiritual connection to him and that gives me the courage to carry on. I know if nobody else cared, he cares for my life. I am never alone, he's always with me.

This lockdown to a point shows us who we really are as a person, our character is being build up or torn down. Look in the mirror Mac333 and laugh at yourself, pull funny faces, make your hair spiked up....just cheer yourself up, right?????

Well the cats and dogs won't complain forever, that the humans have taken over the setteės haha!!!!!

God bless you 😁😆🤣😆🤣

Hi there, I get through theses difficult times by sitting in the garden listening to the little birds whistling and feeling the sun 🌞, I also try and watch a movie and paint but I find that difficult now because of my hands but I try . There is lots of things for each other to get us through you just have to put your mind to it .

When I started to feel fed up I thought of what it must have been like during the plague. No mod cons, no way of contacting anyone and those final cries of ‘bring out your dead’! We are so spoiled in this day and age and we’re destroying the planet for our gratitude. I am totally alone too as are so many. I’m lucky indeed.

I have been like this since Easter Monday. so confused, rang my maa convinced it is Tue, telling off my cousin, what are you on about easter mon, it is Tue?ONLY IT WAS NOT.ONE DIFFERENCE BUSY AS EVER. in selfisolation, moved in this flat Sept. last year, still unpacking. Find yourself a hobby and stick to it, bake, cook. draw, clean...whatever it is../.do it so STAYING SANE.

get creative, whatever it is...I am writing. If NOT TO SELL FANTASTIC MEMORIES WITH MY LATE HUBBY. He passed on 9mths ago, there is NOT A DAY I MISS HIM, but relieved he cannot see this. if he wld have pulled through. which is UNLIKELY, cancer of bones, in pain...AT LEAST PAIN FREE not suffering anymore. My darling, my sweet treasure. 18 years of marital bliss...CHANGED NOW, ON MY OWN AND DOING JUST FINE, HAPPY! and I marvel. I cldn't imagine it 8mths ago.

Wow you are so encouraging. Rally sorry that you lost your love if your life like this.

But look at you, you are here, talking to us.... keeping yourself occupied...love that! We need to as life does go on somehow. It's tough losing a spouse! I think you are doing great honestly. Stay safe and well please 💜😊

I was once told that negativity has no place in one's life. You need to do at least one positive thing and you will find something easy to do if you really want to. Every few days I do have a downer day, as I am sure everyone else has. Then I remember the negativity thing and I get up and do something.

I try to look on the present circumstances I find myself in as just another and very different stage in my life. I lost my dear husband of 50 years two years ago and I find that I am missing him so much at present because we always faced everything (good or bad) to-gether. I know he would hate to think I had just given up so I try to find some little bit of good each day and dwell on that.

Another thing is that we have so much more time at present. Nothing needs to be rushed.

Because of macular degeneration (I get injections in eyes every six weeks) I cannot now read for more than a few minutes. However, over the internet I have joined the local library and can download free audiobooks. This is proving great as when I am not sleeping at night I can get involved in hearing a good story which lifts my spirits.

Someone has suggested getting in touch with your doctor. This might help indeed but lifting the phone and sharing cares and woes with friends and family would be a good start. You will find that they all are suffering the same cares and woes and you can help each other. We are all suffering the effects of this awful thing but I for one want to come out the other end happy. At my age and medical problems I do not know if I will live that long but I will never give up trying.

I will be thinking of you and urge you just to take the first steps to accomplishing some small task and building on that. You can do it - you just need to really try. All Good Wishes

coat2003
coat2003
in reply to Jelbea

being bereaved after 50 years I can't even think. and having MD, when sight so crucial to living.if that goes I am in a real pickle. as relying on it all the time...all my life. Having ataxia balance ALREADY SHOT, using my walker, speaking like drunk, slurring, but hey I am a very cheap drinker:) I keep exercising, sometimes have OFF DAYS, but always remember my hubby, when he didn't feel like going to the gym and HAD TO FORCE HIMSELF...a good friend ofmine in his 70s mentioned his 84 year old neighbour, as very agile, positive, talkig, moving lady with ONSET OF ATAXIA. She has her family BUT NOT INTERESTED IN HER, something like mineimmediate English part, Slovak is fine and wider English fantastic. She has to evaluate her abilities if ABLE TO DO IT, if she can stay on her own, in her habitation, or slowly consider nursing home...on advice of social services...I REALLY ADMIRE ANYBODY ELDERLY COPING WITH IT ALL, I am relatively speaking youngish, but even I HAD TO THINK NOW what if worsening of my health...will go ultimately back home to Slovakia, despite no financial provision, but as a last resort.STILL FORTUNATE, SELFSUFFICIENT, CAN COOK AND FEED MYSELF and look after myself WELL!LONGEST IT LAST! ON WE GO WE HAVE TO!!

Jelbea
Jelbea
in reply to coat2003

Dear Coat 2003, Thank you for writing to me. I actually think my letter was in reply to Square251 who seems to be having difficulty in at least trying to do something it help herself. You are obviously doing wonderfully in trying to continue without your wonderful husband. It can be so hard but we would not want them back to suffer any longer. You sound a great and very determined lady and I admire your strength of mind. I hope the way will become clear to you as the time goes on and I send you all good wishes for your future.

coat2003
coat2003
in reply to Jelbea

I think you are right. Sorry get muddled, muddle is my midle name:) Thanks for your kind words.

I wake up everyday and it's so quiet I think it's Sunday. Spending far too much time on laptop reading these posts and reading and writing emails when I should be exercising. I don't have the energy to be really busy but over the last year or so my house has been neglected because I have prioritised practising the violin in order to be fit to play in concerts (it's Olympian - the strength one needs). I can relate to people who say they feel numb.

Now that the concerts have all been cancelled, I have given up on the practice and replaced that by doing one chore a day. I made a list on an A5 scrap of paper and it helps to keep me focused. Not exactly motivated, but I find that just making a start helps. Some of the housework is so strenuous for me that I think it must equal a walk in exercise benefits. When I get too tired I go back to the laptop or to the tablet and do sudoku. Addicted. I only stop when the battery gives up! I try not to beat myself up if I don't do my chores one day.

At the start of lockdown I spoke to my GP on the phone and she agreed I should go back on Lansoprazole for heartburn. That was a really good move because as a result of no longer curing the heartburn with food, I am eating less and slowly but surely losing weight! Some days I feel really good, as strangely, most nights, I am sleeping much better despite pain.

What is really hard is getting the shopping delivered. I can only get one slot every seven days so if I miss something off the list, that's it for another week, and my partner is having a great time eating whatever he wants whenever he wants and expecting me to manage. Is it me, or has everything gone up? I have halved the amount of savings I normally put away. I've been trying to keep the weekly shopping down in price for (free delivery) to about £40; there are only two of us and we hardly throw anything away (even the recycling is down in volume). It's worrying that we can't get flour to bake bread. We don't need toilet rolls yet but I am concerned that we may not be able to get them when we do need them. There are other things, too, that I order every week, and even if they're available, by the time my shopping is picked they are no longer there.

So I have these spells of feeling really anxious and uncared for and it makes me feel really tired. The TV is on all day for company, information and entertainment. What do shielders do when they have no technology? I am just grateful that I have a degree of movement, that, as I'm vegetarian, there is always something to eat, as I'm not relying on "ready" food, that I have a roof over my head in an area where I can walk and that I have a pension. So many people don't have this. But this is how I am living right now.

Stay safe and value life, everyone.

I TOTALLY GET YOU,re delivery slots, it is hard to get it.if stuck order over35.00 for NEXT DAY DElivery eg iceland inot yet on commission:) other supermarkets available. ASDA A DIFFERING CHOICE OF ITEM, but the minimum spent more than Iceland...every single item online is 30% if not more MORE EXPENSIVE.we used to be just 2 of us and my shopping I NEVER SAVED ANYTHING, basically cooked what's on offer.now cannot shop cannot go to a shop due to my ataxia, so selfisolate, when all THIS MADNESS su bsides, SERIOUSLY THINK GETTING A CLEANER. EVEN IF CLEANING CLEAN, NO BUILD UP OF,,,my hubby ill in hospital, stressed out and one cleaner WALKED OUT OF MY FLAT AS SHE CLDN'T COPE with mess. Hello, are you a cleaner or what, since moved into smaller and alone as my hubby passed on. will look for one myself...can clean myself, trouble with changing bedding sheet tends to get off the elstic one corner....any road have plans to be busy... it is good you ractise your violin...hatts off as I held violin once and IF NO MUSIC EAR, CANNOT PLAY, EVEN GUITTARE IS EASIER,some direction of a different cords, with violin 0.elying on pure ear...One day I invest into a mini piano, ALWAYS WANTED TO PLAY IT. cld read music, NOT SURE NOW, USED TO PLAY A RECORDER, more for asthma and nobODYy STILL MOVED AWAY, SO STILL PLAY OK:)READ MORE, TV too distracgive. I listened to ONLY MUSIC, and my head thinking. tv off, cldn't think straight.

RE EXERCISE KEEP IT DOING, BIKE STATIONARY, OR YOOGA...WHAT PAIN ARE YOU REFERING TO? I am fortunate to have a very clever neighbour...taking all precautions in small shops...if I run out of milk, bread...GET THE TOILET PAPER, WASH.UP LIQUID, WASHING POWDER ASAPRACTICABLE.KEEP WELL, SAFE & SANE. DO YOUR HOBBIES AND LISTEN TO YOUR BODY AS YOU DO. IT TELLS YOU THE BEST...ENERGETICALY.

You DO get me! I try to get my shopping list up to £40 and then as the days go by, keep adding things until it goes above £40. On Thursday I got my first food parcel! So as it had some things I would have bought, I went into my list and canceled them! If I go above £40 I might find it difficult to do the same thing a week later, but still have to shop for things that don't keep for more than a week. It's an art in itself. Keeps me busy - just finding a cheap slot is a gamble. Iceland have stopped emailing me. I learned the other day that the corner shop might have things we can't get online - like flour. OMG! Because of the stockpilers, the millers can't keep up with the demand as it is such a slow process to produce flour.

I have osteoarthritis in my knee but it is mainly my hip that is so painful at the moment and it radiates into my back. I really need to get more exercise but I am not really a very physical person - more mental (in both senses!) I don't know why my hip is so sore as it got bad at lockdown. I do suffer from fibromyalgia as well, so it could even be that. It's worse when I am in bed. I've had some back injuries recently and the mattress is new. I think if I didn't have the injuries the mattress would be wonderful, though people always blame them.

I'm a violinist not a cleaner! Having all these health problems means that when I'm practising I do the minimum of housework. Now that I have little reason to practise, the house is being cared for as it should - one task at a time. I am thinking of getting someone in after this is all over but cleaners like a clear space, not one with crates and boxes all over the floor. If that wasn't the case it would be easier for me. Same with the "garden" that can't be used as a garden.

I bombard myself with noise! I know it isn't good for me but the TV is on all the time and I am always on the laptop. It's not just me - my partner likes to watch things that don't interest me much. He switches programmes and after a few minutes, he leaves the room to do something else! Not just me that's mental! But I understand that's a "man thing".

I would do yoga but there's not much floor space here and I'm 75, so seizing up a bit. I am lucky that although I am shielding, I can go out for a walk as I live in a rural area, and the roads are somewhat safer these days for walking.

Yes - we should all listen to our bodies. Stay safe coat2003!

vow.75.hats off, so good on pc.I new hardly anybody over 70, computer literate. excluding my late hubby who was 80 and cld do the whole digital kindle on amazon...he used to write and selfpublish….I TRY TO WRITE, but it has to beexceptionally good as no chance me learning how to self publish...and near enough half his age. Ian was not your usual 80.remarried at 62, I was 24:)and what a match we were, can understand over 70s, but a generation less, immature males, no chance......

Your hubby has to be what I call a butterfly person...perhaps his nature, buzzing, on the go all the time, my Ian was opposite, called him to eat....so in his writing...when 62-65 like your husband, 70onwards so introspect...he used to be a very social animal, I am not..

why I questioned internet shopping NOT MANY PENSIONERS CAN AFFORD to go over 35.00pounds in money....actually Ian always checked what we can afford and what not.my ma in Slovakia 67 and can switch it on/off:)

right you are about seizi g up. I often end up like that due to my ataxia when cold flat...

Thank you, coat 2003. Kind words rarely come my way these days. It's easy for me as I trained as a touch typist way back when. So I only had to keep up with technology as it grew.

I am writing and thinking of publishing on Kindle. Not a long book, as it was never intended to be. I'll have to share it with a few people first. To be honest, I'm spending more time writing on this forum than I do editing my book.

My partner spends a lot of time digging the garden, as he's planting potatoes, but the hens keep digging them up LOL. He's diabetic and will come in, eat something and fall asleep, but not before changing channels. Communication is usually quite difficult as he's blind and deaf, so if I come across as solitary, that is why. Not sure he's a butterfly. More like a moth! A bit stumbly with a lot of flapping.

I have my small Teacher's Pension and my partner has a pension from a firm he worked for that he has transferred to me because I pay nearly all the bills. I couldn't manage without it, and I'm just so glad I paid off the mortgage some years ago as that gives me much peace of mind. So we are comfortable (ish) but we don't get help from family, so if we don't do it ourselves, we have to pay. Feeding a diabetic man is quite expensive and I have to maintain a practical larder - hence the stress when I can't buy meat and carbohydrates that suit him.

I'm sorry you had such a relatively short time with your husband; you sound as if you were ideally matched. John and I have been together for more than 30 years and he's 78. I t's been up and down. We are not at all wealthy, but I keep telling him how lucky we are not to be poor and not to live in a tiny flat at this time. He cannot understand how some people are becoming so depressed.

Have a nice day!

you see, I am more like generation what you'd call 50s Britain, values included.owning NOT A LOT, NO EXPECTATIONS, brought up no money hand to mouth existence. Grateful to my exceptionally clever ma, who cldn't study at uni, clebver clogs, can think rings round educated....was startled by our age difference as anybody wld be, WHO DIDN'T KNOW IAN. Once she met him, saw goodness in him, instantly understood.Ian had dia type 2.It is hard to cater for a diabetic, they cannot eat willy nilly what they fancy and no sugar, fruits like banana, mango full of it...so I get your shopping. Was there myself...He sounds like it all crept up on h9im later in life, diabetes doesn't help to state of his veins....Older one gets more stuff you bget..so whether yes or not his dia result of his blindness...they monitor eyesight, numbness in feet for any peripheral numbness...they check kidneys....it is not ONLY about losing a limb...but Ian was once in hospital stenting and sthg gone wrong kept him in for observation, a bloke on his ward stole money for ciggies. dreadful, already smoking caused his amputation...worse than heroin this smoking.

Yes, been there; done that. Type 1 actually, sticking needles in himself several times a day. Toes missing and blindness due to Type 1, and wobbliness partly due to missing big toes but it might also be something in his head as he was hit with "a wooden plank" one evening by a mugger when visiting Belfast some years ago, and there may likely be permanent damage, but he does alright. Lack of eyesight probably has some effect too. We are missing the weekly trips to the hospital but we did sort out his failing insulin regime at the start of the lockdown. Thank goodness. They have reduced it and it make quite a difference. If he gets an infection, he usually has a long hospital stay while they stent him and get him back to normal, but you have to make a fuss or they send you home with antibiotics and you're back again days later for a long stay.

It's a beautiful day today so he's out in the garden as usual. I need to get out for a walk as I've been bingeing on family movies this afternoon. Lovely.

dear oh dear. damage sugar makes is horrendous...Ian had a late onset, one of h9s son's the same...but hereditary, Ian had it from his dad, his son equally...MY friend in Slovakia has 2 daughters and her exhusband thank god hasnt passed his type 1 on any daughters...she was worried sick. all in clear...as he always had to have emergency choclate biscuits. just in case.his balance MUST BE AFFECTED by missing toes...yes infections, from little thing anormous 3 week spell in hospital grows...if you ever had any kids, a son of yours need to get checked as hereditary line is male....I was quite surprised. We never had any children, asmy health was never god for having a child. Thank god for it now, ataxia is quite enough...

I'm childless too but he has passed his Type 1 down to two daughters (from previous marriage) and a grandchild so far. It wasn't late-onset. He had it when I met him. I never felt I could have managed children very well and continued to work with fibromyalgia but I have been pregnant. Early menopause. That's another story! At least finally - having the second big toe amputated - no more infections from un-noticed wounds. Touch wood. Didn't know the hereditary line was male - neither of his parents seem to have had it. Both of his grandson's parents were Type 1. I suppose one day they'll find a proper way of dealing with it.

so it is NOT ONLY MALEline. I am a child myself on whom a hereditary disease passed on.come to think of it my bro as well.he is 3 years older, but can walk fine without aids.I have a walker. my 2nd legs, forgot a few times, disabled and shuffled out of the flat leaving walker inside....:) soon reminded. to be honest I am disabled, walking ONLY WITH WALKER asnd visible enough, slurred speech, butinmy head I am NOT DIFFERENT , at least that;s how I perceive myself. My immediate family the English lot, Ian;s 4 kids from the 1st marriage. all older than me....2 daughters and 2 sons. as we never had kids and a grandma:) at 24, they all call me by my first name...4 years old, 10, 9. 8. these 4 grandkids in Britain, 1 in USA. Chicago...never been never dreamed going to AAmerica esp. now.She is 30 now and getting married. The youngest is 23. the eldest 27. smashingg, clever kids, all uni educated. IAN did his uni degree, age 67.fab-he was a late starter. as his all kids.2 daughters 1 hostile towards me, paradox is as if I stole her daddy, by marrying him...as if he werent entitled to BE HAPPY. and happy, with a great smile, positive he was WITH ME, not with his 1st wife. prior to our marriage was 16 years alone, di vorced, but WANTED TO BE WITH SOMEBODY growing old...UNLIKE HIS OWN 2 SONS. each has 1 child, but never married.THEOLD FOX (their dad) had MORE VIGOR, zest for life...then them 2 will EVER HAVE...one is very immature 55. and the other 59 whom I fancy ONE DAY, as he is retiring abroad, early retirement...very highly paid, intellectually much more clever than me, IAN'S IDENTICAL TWIN, as if......his son, his nature ONLY NOT INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP never mind relationship....hurt as a younish 30 year old by his daughter's ma and since then 30 years ALONE.hardly wishes a friendship with a woman. sees me as his dad's wife. patience, growing beard, will look like zz top from ac/dc metal group, heavy metal (my bro used to liked them and his beard touching the ground, that;s me WHEN HE HIMSELF COMES:)never been in my new flat...never rings, never visits...but can I stop thinking about him<NO I CANNOT, and he doesn't even know I exist.It is too soon anyhow, but one has to dream:) coro a cannot steal my dreams...corona cannot stop spring/summer.

It sounds as if you need some new dreams, but you must still be mourning the loss of your husband. Nine months is a short time and you have moved your home in that time as well! Coronavirus stopped us all in our tracks and if ever there was a time for us all to learn patience, this is it.

yes,, you are right. still mourning my late hubby, he is still here regardless...JUST NOT Physically.ADAM will ever hardly see me as a free woman, more like his late pa 2nd wife....to be honest, I don't expect any more in the next 5 years.Longer I am alone, MORE I like it...Who wants relationships and complicated people with their rucksacks full of bother. I can have nice expensive clothes, do early am. not disturbing anyone..nice food. friends....just friends/neigh bours… well miss the occasional hug, but NOW CANNOT ANYWAY.Physicality of relationship I DON'T MISS AT ALL,more a psychological anchor...selfsufficient, independent I am and plan to be as long as I am able.

Which countries were you supposed to travel?Last week, bbc4 Fri 8pm was a program with Nicola Benedetti...showing Yehudi Menuin, I never realised he was a violinist, Nigel Kennedy and how he played. some Russian violinist...It was very interesting....I find violin quite heavy and it can get on my nerves (sorry), but on Ffri I must have been in mood...really enjoyed it....

ooops it was last Friday, losing track AGAIN.

I missed that programme; partner has controls. We were supposed to go to Morocco but the holiday was canceled a day or two before lockdown. The people who did get away before that were only offered flights back last week! That would have been five weeks away for us. Quite expensive I imagine.

I did my back in again today, though not as bad as last year. I was only emptying ash into the rubbish bin as I hate it when John chucks it into the grey bin loose and it flies everywhere.

I've just spent the last hour trying to get him on his feet after he had a hypo and fell at the bottom of the garden. Not quite the obstacle course it has been but still a cause for anxiety, and I was feeling so weak and helpless, not least because I was just about to get my lunch. Have had it now and he is dropping food all over my Turkish carpet. He will come round in a bit but it was hard to stop him sleeping all this time. I cannot do it myself; I just have to be creative when this happens, and find ways to get something he can hold on to. Very wobbly. At least no broken glass lying around this time.

You're right. Who wants other people around with all their baggage? But you are young. Who knows?

yes,you are right....baggage I mean other people problems...sometimes you find life tiresome esp. when some SNOWFLAKES start complaining how the life is hard, talk to after the war generation, they can say rationing NO FUN. You need to get a carer for your partner.It is getting TOO MUCH for you... after covid 19, speak to the social, explain your situation, invite them to your home, so they can see....one of my nightmares blindness. rely on eyesight when balance gone, cldnt be on my own... never been to Marocco, but heard one gets a very good massage in one of their baths, like ROMAN, they are culturally strong...cannot haggle and NOT IMPRESSED BY CAMELS...OTHERWISE THE HOLS WAS REASONABLY PRIZED... YOUR partner has to be light weight, I cldn't physically handle Ian was 13 stones. and if used a spray UNDER HIS TONGUE, explained to him WHY HE NEEDS TO DO IT ON THE BED. he oversprayed easily and knocked himself out....but learned AND IF HE DID OVERSPRAYED. LIFTED HIS LEGS. And restored his consciousness....FOR HIS ANGINA SPRAY...HAVE YOU INVESTIGATED, THEY HAVE TO RETURN YOU THE MONEY....if it is ryanair DON'T ACCEPT ANYTHING ELSE... and if you went through a hols company, ABTA...has to pay back...as I know you are very able on pc, so booked it direct, accommodation, food...try hotel refunding...

plus I CANNOT EAT ARAB CUISINE, apricots belong to a sweet dessert, don't eat lamb...too greasy for me.hate rice anything....too thin for dieting....:)

the queen Vicky I am not, but LIKE IT ON MY OWN, as long as I am able to....believe or not USED TO BE MORE ENERGetic when younger...now active ataxia and cannot believe what I used to manage A LOT. and looking after another person IS A HARD WORK. I wld find energy for another Ian. but what is the chance of finding similar NOT THE SAME,MAN WORTH DOING ALL FOR?.0.precisely.

Yes - I've been thinking for a while about speaking to the carers group. I can't see how it would work to have another carer beside myself other than I could do with some help around the house. When you try to fill in the form for carer's benefit you have to say you are a carer for at least 30 hours a week or something. Well, I'm not watching him for anything like that. It's just that he can suddenly become ill. In any case, if you're getting a reasonable pension, you don't qualify for any help and you have to put down all dates and times when you get a break! It's very time consuming.

If you go to Morocco, the food is quite similar to that of Turkey. There is loads of choice. I am vegetarian and the temptations are multiple! There are European vegetables, all sorts of meat, eggs and cheese as well as middle eastern/African, so don't think you would be restricted to rice. The food is delicious. There's quite a lot of spice but it's mild. You will not be restricted to lamb, rice, carrots and apricots, which was pretty much the case in 1976 when I first went. In those days, the food wasn't so great but it was like stepping back 2000 years.

I have woken up this morning, knowing I have hurt my back but my left hip is better. I must have had a trapped nerve or something that was released yesterday, when I felt my back "go" so a blessing in disguise. Today I have to find out whether my hospital appointment is still on.

to tell you the truth I avoid the social. paperwork like hell and justifying every minute. thanks....as long as self-sufficient the best. you might think more going through all the notion, if you'd feel you need help more...if suffering from sciatica, then often trapped nerve, there are exercises for it, but cannot tell you how effective...Ian had an early onset of some sort of bone weakening in the spine, come to think of it NOW if it weren't some sort of indication of athritis or a prequel to the bone c.when you get to a cerain age like 80, UNLESS fight for it all, AS IF THE DOCS VERY CLEVERLY without telling straight WERE GUESSING WHAT'S WRONG. and put everything down to old age, my deriere old age. a relatively healthy, managed conditions, guy struck with c...AND WHAT WAS FAIRLY OBVIOUS, smething up VERY LONG BEFORE...CLDN'T LOSE WEIGHT for 10 yrs....despite 3 times a week IN THE GYM, WORKING HARD.kiif already no gallbladder, no appendix, there was an indication of metabolic something....dia type 2...probs with absorption of sugar, good diet, home cooked food....but UNLESS VERY NOISY, fluent in english, I mean bossing and demanding examination...nothing HARDLYM EVER HAPPENS. Your partner I have to congratulate you for fab nutrition and to him FOR GOING TO HIS LATE 70S, it must be all hard work. esp. if easily unbalance due to his toe missing and his blindness...If he injects more or less he is relatively speaking slim...if you STILL manage to manipulate with him...for personal care if you haveN'Tt got it by now, think hoist.Ian was a very private person, and threw out of the bathroom a carer. He wanted to do it all till HE COULD, washing...anyroad cleverly distracted a carer with changing sheet...so used theirm help in alocated times...another thing if you ever need the use of social services...go for 2 visits and more EASIER TO LET ONE GO, THEN ADDING ONE IF NEEDED.NO IDEA IF THEY DO 1 A WEEK VISITS...but you cld do with some easing off LATER ON.

they cld avise you the best, I know very little...limited experience...forgot to ask you, what are you writing about? fiction/non fi ction... my imagination, creative is non existant...Ian wrote mainly from his life experience, butnfunny besides his paranormal. and a Hitler trilogy.that was pure fact.won't swamp you with his hosting address, busy enough,. let's just say, in the process of transfering HISownership of all writing to me...FOR PRESERVATION, MORE THAN MONEY.his legacy, writing a hard work...his last 10 years of life...started with scripts for tv, moved into books and selfpublishing.

It's not fiction but would love to do some non-fiction when I have finished it.

I am a fiction NON STARTER. Never have been, Ian's grandson little 10 and I marvelled where was he coming with all these ideas for a story...I need some factual hedging...or from experience.

You need to have some life experience to write anything worth reading.

sometimes i feel 150:) creaking everywhere...interesting childhood, fab marriage, widow at 43...so 77 years to go YET:) state of my maths. :(

Know what you mean, but it's how old you feel in your head that counts. That's why I don't walk when I should.

Yes , same here ! I'm used to getting up at 5.00am to go to work. I still wake up at the same time . It makes for a long day of doing nothing. I've done every job that need attention around the house. I can't return to work until June 1st. Stay safe !

HiddenThis reply has been deleted
coat2003
coat2003
in reply to Hidden

Karen, you summed it up beautifully, keep doing your hobbies, exercise, cook, bake, read, watch tv.ALL IN MODERATION though, time passes by faster keeping busy.mainly sta safe & sane... we all will relearn NEW NORMAL.MAINLY GOING B ACK TO WORK USE A SCARF, not necessaRILY A FACE MASK...IF SHORTAGE, PURE COTTON FACE MASK...I AM SORRY TO SAY BUT BRITS ARE OBLIVIOUS TO MASKS, SCARF WEARING FOR PROTECTION...APOLITICAL, even BOJO can see a sense in wearing onefor going back to work...for your own protection and if sneezing coughing AND CANNOT SELFISOLATE one protects others...JUST STAY VIGILANT! and do not be scared to TO REMIND OTHERS, AS EASILY FORGOTTEN precautions...

Jerry
JerryModerator
in reply to coat2003

Hello coat2003 if you want to emphasise some sentences/text in your reply or post all you have to do is highlight the text that you want to highlight and then click ctrl B (this puts it in Bold print) You cab do the same to underline text by highlighting the text and then clicking Cntrl U.

Thanks, 🌈 🌞

coat2003
coat2003
in reply to Jerry

thanks Jerry.will do.sheer annoyance I use caps on, no common sense drives me round the bend.if sthg staring you in the face and cannot see it.just compare how many perished in countries with no masks and with masks...I don't need a scientific approval, to see the obvious,

Hello yes same here. I am actually working from home but at the moment I am finding that more difficult to concentrate on. I have put a calendar on the wall in front of my desk so I can see what day it is. the only thing that keeps me slightly sane is the amount of zoom and skype meetings going on. I was actually wondering today whether I would be better off coming off my meds. I am still getting flares so sometimes I wonder why I take them. I cannot see an end to this at the moment and when the 'lockdown' ends we are still going to have to shield.

I would never just stop my medication - I have more sense but I am beginning to wonder why I bother to take them. I am talking to my friends regularly and doing all the right things but it's hard to stay positive knowing that we are in this for the really long term.

coat2003
coat2003
in reply to Cress

hi doing all WELL AND PROPER. as no ideea what for the meds? in any case DON'T.working from home is IDEAL, LUCKY YOU,NOT ALL OF US CAN.I fortunatelly can as well, but more solitary.

Cress
Cress
in reply to coat2003

Yes I'm lucky to be able to work from home, not sure why the caps lock. Are you shouting at me :) Sorry if I have offended.

HiddenThis reply has been deleted
Cress
Cress
in reply to Hidden

Thank you it's the second time it's happened to me now on this forum. I have contacted the mods and asked to remove my posts. To be honest life is bad enough already. I've had some nice conversations but cannot cope with this at the moment. Thanks for responding. :) I shall remain a lurker in future.

coat2003
coat2003
in reply to Cress

no I am new to this lark technology, never ever realised caps so sensitive.but yes highlighting the fact.so I apologise, for misleading you.won't harass you any longer, if requested to be removed...as I said technology.stime more trouble than worth it.perhaps busy, or inappropriate content...one thing I can reassure you you never get any negative writing from me. I do only positive, unfortunately no photos as cannot do it. I have an idea, but still struggling with m y mobile as I said technology dinosaur. entering 21st century just now.ha ha ha

coat2003
coat2003
in reply to Cress

I quite like you. I can shout all right, but I need a reason. I won't shout without it.And top it all off I can be a rather gutter snipper as well. But you are ok.Psssssssssssssssssst/sssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh.ladylike is my new. How long will that last 5mins? world is full of how do you say it politely of twits, so no wonder I usually pass around those, but a head collision, one instantly knows where one stands...or is legless:)that depends, my old/my new hardly remembered when legless, never mind headless...on guard me!

Square251.....i hear you and i'm pretty much the same,i try to do bits and pieces but not very much,my plans all go out the window and i cant be bothered,even the house is not as it normally is,i never was untidy,but i am now.

coat2003
coat2003
in reply to secrets22

you need to write it all down and cross one by one WHEN FINISHED. organise yourself and be realistic.if healthy ennough, IF NOT one thing a day...

Callendersgal
CallendersgalModerator

Hi Square251,

I feel all at sea too, most of the time. I have an awful job concentrating on any one thing, and although I thought I'd be having a great time doing crafts and being creative, I just haven't felt like doing it as much as usual. Maybe it's too much of a 'normal' activity. I find I can spend lots of time YouTubing, and I enjoy cooking and baking as much as ever. I've decided to just be kind to myself. I make sure I keep a calendar close to me to track the days of the week, and any upcoming tasks that must be attended too (bill paying mostly). And then, against all advice, I do what i feel like doing at any particular moment! A routine is probably best for most people, but it's absolutely not for me! I'd say, find your own way through this. No point making yourself miserable forcing a routine on yourself, unless that's what is keeping you sane. I'm not advocating sitting around miserably with nothing to do. Just keep looking until you find the thing that you love and are happy passing time with. Take care and make yourself happy. 😊

quite right, NEVER FORCE YOURSELF, unless a very strong routine. only then derrier kicking helps.Did it yesterday, coxing myself to exerciseoutside...otherwise listen to your inner world, and find out WHAT WORKS THE BEST FOR YOU.

Hello dear Square 251,

I hear your emptiness. I understand you're 'shutting down'... I understand how you feel.. It's like seeing an endless horizon without end, night or day makes no difference... You are feeling swallowed up by a 'nothingness' right now... You are not alone, far from it.

The first thing I would say, is don't be hard on yourself. Be kind... Accept this nothingness... It's just the Now. Let time standstill...step back...

If you can fill this current void with playing and focusing solely on mahjong...then you can do something else...you have the skill already.

You can clear your mind...

If you can physically do so, fine, if not lay on your bed...

If you are able, lay your duvet on the carpet, double folded, lay your pillow at the top and gently lie down upon it. Best to be wearing loose clothes and socks, no shoes... Get comfortable...

Maybe pulling the curtains will help...

Lay your hands by your sides...

Take a deep breath, as big and as slowly controlled as you can. Inhale for a count of 3 or 4 whichever suits you best and hold it...and then slowly exhale counting 5, 6, 7 and 8...

Do this until you feel totally relaxed, because all you are doing is concentrating on the numbers and the breathing sequence... Nothing else matters, nothing, not the time or the day nor the place... Nothing... You exist only in the Now, with every breath you take...

Slowly inhale.. hold.... and exhale...

With every breath you are oxygenating all your tissues.... Cleansing and carrying away toxins....with every exhale you are expelling your worries and your stress...

Keep up this breathing sequence fir as long as you like... As you breathe the sound of silence around you will change.. you will be aware of the beating of your own heart, you will hear 'your breathing in your ears'.... You will come to experience calm.

Once you reach this 'place' you can progress to the next stage if you choose.... Or you may wish to remain breathing peacefully in this calm zone.

The next stage is visualsing where you would want to be...

Remember lying on a beach sometime?

Remember the sound of the gentle waves dwindling to a gentle ripple as they overlap your feet.... you feel the warm water between your toes... You're lying on the wet sand; it's soft and has moulded it's shifting shape to fit your body.... You feel relaxed and warm, cradled in this soft wet sand... The warm sun shines down upon you. Your body is warm and relaxed, you feel supple and loose in your limbs... Your arms by your sides, you feel the ripples of warm water as the wavelets lap you gently... There is the faintest of breezes that blends with the sound of the sea, in harmony with your breathing... The warm sun nourishes your skin.... you feel its warmth penetrating deep into your bones... Your eyelids register it's red glow.... You know you cannot open them because the sun is so strong so you keep the shut... You are safe and calm and enjoying the moment.

You can stay on your beautiful deserted beach all to yourself....you will not burn as it's late afternoon... The sun is kind to you, it revives you. It passes you its own energy... Stay as long as you feet you want to, Time does not exist...

When you've had enough... And you choose to come back, wake gently.

Remember to be kind to yourself, get up gently, roll over first...

Hold onto that replenishing sun and how good it made you feel, all over from head to toe...and now do something nice... Give yourself a manicure, or just put some cream on your hands.... Make yourself a cup of tea...maybe with some cinnamon toast? Think of having a nice warm shower...you can do the same breathing excercises and enjoy the warm water on your skin, pamper yourself.. put in your favourite shirt or you favourite sweater, feel good... Feel good for You... Be kind to yourself. Love yourself, accepting who you are right now... Things will pass, things will improve...

If you need to talk just let me know... Get in touch.

Poppy the 🐈

🌞🌞🌞🌴🌴🌴

Craftyperson
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

Yes I don't know what day it is from one day to next have to check on TV some days to check. I'd even forgotten it was Easter other week.

We are living in strange times at the moment where normal routines go out the window, I find the same happens between Xmas and New year.

Do you have a hobby could do to pass the time or one you've always wanted to try you can still get things on line if so.

Do you have someone to talk to? A lot of areas have set up volunteers to ring people alone see if your council has.

The best thing I can say is it will pass and by staying indoors now will be quicker and more importantly safer. Coming on here will help.

Hope your feeling a bit better today.

Yep I feel like that aswell, this lockdown an virus has made my anxiety an depression worse! I was meant to go for a blood test this morning but I'm to scared to go out incase I get this covid 19 as my son has asthma and I'm scared of dying. My 2 oldest girls lost there dad 2 years ago due to sepsis and I cant bear the thought of something happening to me as they will have no mum or dad. X

you need to cool down a bit. first thing first, sepsis is horrendous. myy good friend lost all 5 friends he befriended on the ward, as elderly and advance stage they all passed on.so it is serious enough, depends on overall health state, the younger /stronger. YOU HAVE TO PUT THIS VIRUS INTO PERSPECTIVE. If in selfisolation, observing all precautions well, the chance of getting it is minimal, but IAM NOT SAYING IMPOSSIBLE.It all gets worrying if you OVERTHINK IT../AND SCENARIOS of what if? start.STOP IT THERE AND THAT. save yourself mental health STAY SANE.

Yes I agree. Everyday is the same. I too never know the date and feel not ending anytime soon

Hi Square251. Am really sorry you feel like that. I am also totally isolated, alone and at home since 17th March. My dear neighbour does my shopping for me and gets my prescription from the pharmacy. But I do go into the garden and work there every day since we've had such wonderful weather. The garden is slowly taking shape after years of neglect. Have you got the possibility of getting your hands 'dirty' ?. Working with earth is very therapeutic and when you see the results, it is wonderful. Maybe you could do something like that, even if you live in a flat - there might be a communal garden where you can make your mark. I do hope you get an inspiration and get going. We are going through difficult times but we have to think of others who are a lot worse off than we are. This has helped me throughout my life. I hope you'll find yourself soon. And do call your friends and family .... they might be lonely too and appreciate hearing from you.

Chicago's old hit can be re-released as "Does anybody know what DAY it is?"

Gaileeoh
Gaileeoh
in reply to Wdoug

hahaha

The other day I thought about songs which had made me feel good throughout my life, starting with a couple that were popular when I was a child. I found them on YouTube and created a post. Started with Edith Piaf La Vie en Rose, went through Midnight in Moscow (Kenny Ball), Sing, Sing, Sing (Benny Goodman), theme for Jeeves & Wooster, Take 5 (Dave Brubeck), Three Little Birds (Bob Marley), Don't Worry, Be Happy (Bobby McFerrin), What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong).

Listening to these songs made me feel a whole lot better.

In the past music has lifted me out of depression. Not these particular songs, every situation calls for a different "playlist". Sometimes it's good to simply wallow. Other times, and I feel covid-times are like this for me, something happy and reassuring works.

Wdoug
Wdoug
in reply to HeronNS

What a Wonderful World, lifts me up. Plus Open a new Window from Mame!

HeronNS
HeronNS
in reply to Wdoug

Do you think humanity can open a new window and start down a new path?

Wdoug
Wdoug
in reply to HeronNS

Let's hope so!🌈🦋🏈

coat2003
coat2003
in reply to Wdoug

I agree, however long we got left, enjoy every minute of it...and remember one good deed a day....BE GOOD! Life is hard enough WITHOUT COMPLICATED PEOPLE IN IT...

Hello again Square, HeronNS above makes an excellent point about the power of Music... Pick something that takes you back to a happier time, or maybe now explore something new?

I've been thinking about throughout the day, wondering how you are...

My day has not been too bad.

I managed to drag myself to the sorting office; I say drag because I slept very little last night, so presenting myself there for 8.30am was a pretty herculean task! I went back to bed, due to having a lot of pain due to RSI giving me an inflamed ligament in the rotator cuff of my right shoulder socket. I can hardly dress, or turn on the tap...just taking the lid of the kettle is a drama! It's all due to working from home, doing a huge amount of work on my laptop, with lots of clicking using the mouse for photo editing. 10 years ago I had a lot of problems with if and endured months of painful physio sessions that didn't achieve much...

So I spent over 2 hours in bed with a huge bag of frozen peas propped over it to numb it... I then followed the instructions I found on Utube; a terrific video by two excellent American physiotherapists. The intervention and pressur you need to apply to the inflamed ligament is very painful to begin with, but after only a short while the area becomes numbed and you feel relief. Wow relief, amazing... I've done a little more and I've rested it and it's improving dramatically. After the disabling effects I had a decade ago prior to the ghastly cortisone injections that didn't really help, pain that plagued me for years, I am amazed that 24 hrs of follow this excellent video has been so beneficial..

So I've taken the day off... I watched a little TV and prepared supper....and all the while I was thinking of you...

Maybe the same way I searched the web to find help, once I'd found the correct specific words to use, to find this great life saving video.... Maybe you could do something similar?

Advice or tips to help cope with depression lockdown.

If you can't find something you connect with, on your first attempt, don't give up.. just alter the wording of your search.

There are plenty of people in the same position with exactly the same feelings as you are currently experiencing. They will not be judgemental in their approach, they will not preach... They will offer their own experience to share and help others... Think on it.

There are plenty of people on this forum that have reached out to you because they want to help, so don't feel alone.

Rest well....

Look after yourself...

And remember that beautiful Mediterranean beach!

Best thoughts,

Poppy the 🐈

Well I'm doing even worse now. I just got the news that exams are still going ahead even with everything going on and I've barely been studying hoping that they'd get canceled. I was numb, now I simply just want to die.

What part of the country are you located in?

I'm from Egypt. They're probably going to be at the end of May.

Ok stay there, I am getting my laptop ... It's painful to my shoulder so hang in a second...😊

I'm very tactical and I have good exam technique..let me help

Don't let this get to you... We can work it out... I agree entirely, the exams should have been cancelled... When are they scheduled?

Get back to me.

katieoxo60
katieoxo60Visually impaired

Hi Square 251, know the feeling its hard to keep each day occupied. The suggestion now is that older & disabled remain in isolation for the forseeable future which makes it harder to even think of changing our hum drum days. I could think of things to do but I am not allowed to go and get the things I need or money from the bank to do it. I have a pen pal but can't go out to post letters either and no one is allowed to come in and do it for me. Is this how our lifes are to be in old age nothing social just food, TV , computer chat, sleep if you are able. Sorry like yourself it is hard to look on the bright side when the news says different. Its Thursday by the way day for applauding the essential workers. Just a thought how do they manage their home lives if everyone spends hours queueing up ect or waiting for jobs to be done. ? This is a disaster, with tragic consequences and it seems we are expected to just accept whats chosen for us and be grateful. Some people have lost their lives , others their livelihoods, reduced schooling , reduced income for large numbers but to name a few things. All we can do is take each day as it comes or risk the health consequences. Stay well and keep coming to the site.

Midori
MidoriVisually impaired

Hello Square,

I'm troubled that you have taken to your bed, are you normally able bodied? You lose about 5% of your muscle tone and strength every day you stay in bed. I was confined to bed for 3 months whilst awaiting my first child, and, after the delivery, had no muscle tone at all and my muscles were shrunken and stiff. I was in a wheelchair for 3 weeks, and I forced myself to walk, first with a walker, then with sticks, until I could throw them away.

For me, its all about attitude. I tell my inner voice to take a hike when it tells me I can't do something. I'm a determined old bird, although I have been cripplingly depressed too, over various Life Events.

I decided to take charge of my life, instead of letting it rule me. It was tough, I was bringing up 2 children on my own, after my husband suicided. For several years I wallowed in depression, then one day I realised my husband and his attitudes were gone, I need not be constrained by him. or them. So I started to get angry with my inner voice which was still afraid of him. It worked; I am now back to my feisty self. I've had the odd setback, with Fibromyalgia developing, which has put me back to the staggering stage, physically, (the wheelchair sulks in the cupboard!), But I had 30 years of freedom! (even managed to get back to Nursing).

Even with the Fibro, IBS, Gastric reflux, early arthritis, dodgy knees and only one working eye, which has removed my Driving Licence, I'm still getting there.

I keep my mind alive by watching documentaries, newscasts (most of which I take with more than a grain of salt) good dramas, favourite old films, Facebook so I can keep in touch with folk, Music, poetry, Books, (even though I'm stuck inside I don't have to vegetate). I also craft, Love crochet, although I get impatient with knitting. Before my eyes packed in I used to do silver jewellery, but haven't the hand skill any more as having only one eye wrecks the depth perception, and working with solder and blowtorches gets tricky!

Due to age I can't get about any more. (Over 70s have to stay in for their own protection from Covid 19), so I have started tabletop vegetable gardening. My back garden is a wasteland of Paving, Tarmac and Gravel (Disabled bungalow), so I'm working on cheering it up!

Try to think beyond the walls of your self imposed prison. You have the key, Please use it.

Cheers, Midori

Square251
Square251
in reply to Midori

Seems like I replied to myself by accident. What I wanted to say was that inner voice is so right, it's impossible to argue with it. Everything it says is true. I don't have it in me to fight it.

Gaileeoh
Gaileeoh
in reply to Square251

Those thoughts in our heads are mostly far from the facts, we make then up, for every neg u think about yourself, you must find a positive about you. Depression lies.

HeronNS
HeronNS
in reply to Square251

I've been thinking about what you've just written. There is another way to look at it. You don't have it in you to "fight" any more. But fighting isn't the only way we live. And there are different ways to "fight" if we want to keep on using that metaphor. Think about some of the martial arts, for example, where you can win by apparently giving in. Not head on direct powerful blows with the fists, but something more subtle and suddenly you've overthrown your opponent.

The exams. Everyone is in the same boat as you, so I don't think you are any more disadvantaged than anyone else. You are all suffering. You all need more time.

The feeling that this is a neverending dark tunnel. It isn't. Intellectually you know this dark time will end. Instead of worrying about the dark tunnel try to divert your attention somewhat. I don't know what will work for you as we are all different. Some people may start to imagine the world outside that tunnel. Others might try to think of something entirely different. Others will find a new hobby or a new exercise regimen, or write a diary. Around here apparently all kinds of baking is going on, so there's a shortage of flour and yeast!

And when the tunnel beckons and you feel you are wrapped in darkness?

Well, one day when I was so deeply in despair and wanted to die, I thought I would draw a picture of how I felt. I drew a picture of a seated woman. Then started to colour in the blackness behind her. I had been feeling there was a great black pit behind me. And as I drew I suddenly realized I was drawing the trunk of a great tree. In that split second of realization everything changed. I don't know why or how. I've had my moments since, but always that supportive tree has been there. Don't try to force imagery or anything. I certainly didn't expect this or look for it. But somehow my new way of expressing how I felt must have opened a door in my brain and let in the light.

And look at this thread. Look how many strangers care about you. You are loved by us all.

Midori
MidoriVisually impaired
in reply to Square251

Your inner voice has you bamboozled. It is only your fears talking. Try telling it to go away for a change and let you have some peace. Does your Doctor know that your inner voice is so strong?

I think it is time you talked to your Doctor and got some help.

You must have come here with hope of help, but we are too far away and on the wrong ends of the Internet connection. We can encourage you; but you need to be able to work with us, not shut down our suggestions all the time. Your Inner Voice is only as strong as you allow it to be.

You are worth more that this.

Cheers, Midori

That inner voice is so right though, there's no arguing with it. I don't think I have that key, I don't have it in me to fight anymore.

Midori
MidoriVisually impaired
in reply to Square251

Yes you do. Get an appointment with your Doctor.

Cheers, Midori

I've had clinical depression Square251 - and you've got it.

No amount of sympathy from people here will help you. You need to get a telephone appointment with your doctor, get some antidepressants and do some online CBT or meditation. The alternative is to stay the same or get worse.

The good news is that you can get better, and will if you want to.

I got better and am doing OK now. I've recently lost my nana and her brother to Covid19 and am finding lockdown difficult, but I'm coping because I learnt how to when I was suffering with depression.

There's nothing special about me. If I can do it, you can.

I really can't. Trust me I tried everything. It's pointless.

Gaileeoh
Gaileeoh
in reply to Square251

I think if you can get some momentum going, the smallest tasks, shower, then brush teeth. I spent Friday Saturday Sunday in bed, covers over head and the longer I lingered the more anxious and depressed I got. My best friend wasn't having it, insisted on a walk on Tuesday. then my 23 yr old son and g f met us and then we were 4, ran into dragon boat friends biking neighborhood and then there were 6 socially distancing of course. It was wonderful to feel a little joy and laughter. What im saying is that a task as simple as a walk w a friend or whatever other small task you can conquer, they just build on themselves-they really do, you've got to find a way to break that cycle

This morning 1230 still not out of bed, made a pact w myself that i would get up and start an hours worth of chores. If I wasn't feeling it after an hour i gave myself permission t o

go back to watch a Series that I was enjoying but I was on a roll, 3 loads laundry, 2 bags trash, visit from my son, had some ideas about I would spend the rest of my night, I was on a roll and all it took was that first walk.

I think i got this. It breaks the chain of negative thoughts that are depression,the anxiety. the horrible rumination over the the most negative pieces of our lives

Please just promise you might try... You have everything to gain and nothing to loose.

You are worth putting yourself first.

Please try something along those lines. Make a loose mini plan and see if it might just get you out of your head. I wish you only good things. Check your facts when you can. Vet yourself. you deserve it

l

Look up the story of 'Robert the Bruce' online...

Even if it seems pointless, please try again...

Midori
MidoriVisually impaired
in reply to Square251

Nothing is pointless, You are not pointless. Call your doctor.

Cheers, Midori

I am so sorry for your loss. Grandparents are milestones and guiding lights in our life.

I can remember how hard it was for me when they passed.

I read our good advice to Square and you are right, you've been through it and you have come out the other side, the Dark side. You are a survivor and a Star for sharing with Square, but like you say he needs help.

Sometimes just the asking is the hardest thing...

Some people will be cruel and will judge you for asking for help...

But so many others who will be honest and Big enough to know how it feels, will definitely not.

So many good people have shown that they want to help Square & they have shared their own experiences in some small way, because there is always so much more they could tell...

Now in this current time, like a magnifying glass it makes things much worse, making all our problems seem even bigger just like a magnyfying glass. But this magnifying glass also distorts things.... Many American cars have a little etched warning in the wing mirrors, saying something like..."Beware objects may appear closer than they are" or something similar as far as I can remember, (when you have a father that owned 36 cars alone, just because he wanted to...you sort of end up detesting them, because inevitably they were more inportant than we were in his life!!)

The problem is with that 'warning', that was etched into the mirror, if you were not careful, you were distracted by it, whilst trying to reverse!!! Defeating the object really because you ended up trying to read it as well as trying to reverse and usually in front of an audience!!

You are totally right when you say Square needs to talk to somebody that will help him to break down his worries into essentially little, smaller more digestible chunks! To regain his perspective, to be able to cope with it all...

As my grandmother, l'Avia would always say... "We know that we've already got the NO, so lets find the YES"

Baby steps, Square should folow your sound advice & get some help.

Like you, he will overcome...but only if he take the first steps.

There are people here who will support him and help him, even if its remotely, at a distance.

Square is not alone.

He has friends here, who understand.

Thank-you for your practical and helpful post. Helpful to us all.

Stay well,

Poppy the cat.

I am trying to keep a routine but it is getting harder. I have to remind myself everyday what day it is.

Midori
MidoriVisually impaired
in reply to cljones

Many of us are feeling rootless and lost in time right now. It's hard to see where and when Lockdown will end, but it has to continue until we have broken the cycle of this Virus. If we go out too early, we could restart the problem all over again.

In some ways we are at War; we cannot see the enemy, but it is all around us. It would be easier to bear if we knew there were bombs, aircraft and a Physical Enemy to concentrate our minds, air raids and so on, but this enemy is insidious, unseen, unheard, until one morning we wake up with symptoms.

Cheers, Midori

Hi Square.

I wanted to tell you I hope you are feeling better soon. I will be thinking of you and am wishing you well and good luck if you have exams.

Yes, doesn’t matter which day it is. Weekends same as weekdays. Week days all mix together. Much of the time, I have

no idea what day it is or month because the weather isn’t even getting warmer here. So it could be March or April , hopefully warmer come May.

Take care of yourself somehow. Bide you’re time and do your best. Hang in there.

❤️

You sounds depressed and very negative! And you need to start focusing on the positive and give yourself some goals and set yourself some tasks each day.

Some online exercise may do you the world of good too.

The day is what you make it, you will be surprised what you can do when you set your mind on it. Take care 🌈

If you have clinical depression, just focusing on the positives and setting goals is not enough. There is a chemical imbalance in your brain, which means you can't just 'pull yourself together' and think happy thoughts. If it was that easy to fix, no one would be clinically depressed.

My doctor told me that depression was as serious as breaking your leg - and you wouldn't tell someone who'd broken their leg to think happy thoughts and it'll get better. Controlling negative circular thinking and learning to distract yourself with small pleasures will work, IF the brain chemistry is sorted...which is why Square needs to take responsibility for him/herself and make that call to the doctor.

Hidden
Hidden

Today is frisatsun obviously doh! I know its true the collonder told me when i was straining me greens! T he important thing is remember where you went to bed , if you leave the wardrobe door open and your teddy out side its easy,unless teddy gets to the bathroom before you,then you have to decide if you were going in or coming out!which could take all day! dont worry go back to bed and start again! before you know it it will be Montuwe and thats a whole newproblemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! stay in the wardrobe!! be lucky be well be at home!

seek professional help, only antidepressants can help. YOU SEE BLACKNESS HOWEVER WELL YOU TrY.had a clinical depression myself. meds helped but TAKE IT LONG TERM if feeling seriously iffy call SAMARITANS...google it shld be there....unfortunatelly you have to wait till MONDAY, unless can afford going private...no messing straight appointment to speak to your gp...telephone conversation suffice FOR NOW, no idea if gps doing skype, bb ut he/she doesn't need to see y,ou, your voice is clearly DOWN ENOUGH.GOOD LUCK!AND DON'T HESITATE...anytime is bad, but this corona time topples many people, no shame in asking for help.

I feel the same way! I also have a 7 month old, same routine everyday. But I just needed to remind myself how lucky I am to be healthy , have food and shelter .

i have no idea either what day it is.....i just heard from Amazon saying my package will be delivered on Friday.......but when is Friday.?

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