It’s been a relief to read so many of these posts as I can relate to them and feel as though I wrote some of them myself. I have always had some isolated anxiety throughout my entire life and am used to some of the psychical symptoms. However, after my second child, (19 mon apart) months after having her ( about 8 months) I felt some strange yet concerning symptoms. It all started the week I had my first period and about a month after I weaned my daughter from breastfeeding. I thought I had a sinus infection because of the pressure in my head. I was also extremely exhausted and was running on minimal sleep. I was being treated for a sinus infection, however, it never went away. This began my panic and concern as I continued to have the symptoms of tiredness, full headedness, pressure, and headaches. Then one day when I was driving while not feeling great, I went the wrong way and when I realized, I had a full blown panic attack because I thought that there must be something terribly wrong with me and that I LOST IT. Since that moment the symptoms continued and more added on... dizziness, odd eye pressure/tunnel vision, lack of concentration, and a spaced out/out of body/not present feeling (which can be very hard to explain) kicked in. After tons of tests and seeing many doctors, they said everything was normal (other than some sinus issues which I always lived with). I was happy when I had a mri because I felt that I truly was “loosing it” and after googling, thought it could be something very serious. My primary dr. said anxiety but since I have already had some experience with it, I couldn’t imagine it was truly that because this was something that lasted for weeks when usually my experience with anxiety would pass after calming down. So the search continued and every ache and pain or odd feeling, made me think, “this is it, this is what’s wrong with me” because I googled but my doctor would calm me down and tell me I needed to relax and it could be just anxiety. As I am starting to accept this, I have been feeling better. I always had health anxiety so I hadn’t been able to relax in months and I feel like my mind is a hamster wheel.
I still feel like I have to try a lot harder to concentrate and focus, is that something that some of you still experience? I appreciate how you are all so kind to one another as this can be a scary time for some of us. I’m sure this increase of stress and health anxiety is the root as it can make out bodies crazy and then adding the hormonal changes is intense!
Sorry for the long post. Would love to hear some feedback or hear if anyone relates!
All the best!
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ryri2013
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Welcome! Reading your story is as if I read my own! My experience started when my second son turned 4 months. I had the perfect birth, pregnancy , baby yet I put such huge pressure on myself to be some ideal mother I ran myself into the ground.
It’s really positive you’ve been thoroughly tested and everything is well. I don’t know why symptoms linger ...but it was the same for me. Between 4-9 months post partum my physical health deteriorated alarmingly quickly as did my mental health . In the end I took antidepressants out of desperation - most of the symptoms lifted quite quickly but the anxiety turned into depression and the symptoms would retirn with pmt, illness, tiredness and sometimes without reason. In time these blips eased in severity and duration but they are very common with PNI.
What has your gp suggested? I would say try to tackle thexanxiety so maybe talking therapy , relaxation techniques can help hugely (ive Heard an app calked headspace is amazing ). Exercise helped me hugely especially anything aerobic . Try to eat well sleep well as much as you can ...keep talking x
Hi @rocky77, so kind of you to reply! I see that you are always checking in on everyone- that’s so sweet!
I’m glad you can relate because it’s been a rough road and it still is difficult because my mind keeps trying to convince myself that I’m missing something or that the dr’s missed something. Silly me asked for my MRI report even after my doctor said everything looked good and I then read through it and anything that was noted on the brain mri I googled and the worst of the worst came up. I know I am in no position to make conclusions based on the report. But then I became convinced that I should go back to the neurologist and double check- I make myself crazy!
My general dr said the same as you! I’m trying to work on this myself but I think I need to find a therapist for cbt and then if I’m not seeing better results, meds. I can feel my body so tense even when I don’t feel as though I’m am worrying about anything in particular. So I know meds will
Help my body relax and in turn make me feel better!
I hope you don’t mind all the questions but did you ever get that disconnected feeling? I get it in my house where I feel like it’s not “real”- I have such a hard time explaining this feeling... and when I drive, I feel like I’m driving with tunnel vision and I feel like I’m not familiar with roads that I have driven on for years!Sounds weird I know but it’s so odd and uncomfortable!? I’m so afraid I’m literally losing my brain and my memory is going!?
Anyway, thanks for your reply!! Hope all is well with you!
Yes i did get that discoinnected feeling - it was like i własny really Herę or deep inside my body which was just a shell - in fact it’s this that really freaked me out completely and did pass quite quickly with antids. I remember driving and looking at my hands on the steering wheel feeling as if they belonged to someone else. I think it’s called depersonalisation and a psychiatric nurse told me it’s a common depression symptom.
I also had the severe health anxiety - even when a test came back negative or a specialist I’d seen would say I’m healthy after a short spell of being relieved I would start freaking that they’d missed something triggering the anxiety again.
Do try the cbt or otherctechniqies to tackle the anxiety. It can make a huge difference to how you feel. Exercise helped hugely too Constant being on high alert triggers many horrid symptoms . Meds are great but there are pros and cons to them .
No need to apologize! Thanks for responding! Yes, that disconnected feeling for me is prob the worst and most scary. I’ll be in my house but feel like it’s “not really my house” or that I’m just going through the motions. I think I get so deep inside my head with thought that it breaks me from reality. I heard of depersonalization! I was wondering if that could be it. Somethings have definitely been better as I begin to realize that I’ll be okay, but things like what I mentioned above are still present. I also get achy joints and super tired but my primary doctor said that it was normal mother wear and tear on the body? Of course I think it’s something more serious as it’s always bothering me.
Sleep is still hit or miss with my two young ones taking turns waking and I am not a great sleeper so I think once that is better, it will help! I have to say knowing that others like you have felt similar things has for sure helped me! I still get dizzy often as well. I think that that has a lot to do with my neck and the tension I hold there, that’s what a chiropractor told me?
How have you been? I’m sorry once again for late reply - no idea how I missed your post!
Over time you will get better. As the strains on your body lessen the hormones stabilise you sleep better tings will improve it’s just frustrating it’s not happening right now. I do think I had some sort of adrenal fatigue or burnout but saying that it was linked to anxiety/depression which does make me think it’s possibly unique to mums in the post partum period.
I have been okay! Rough couple of days around the time I had my period? The foggy headedness and pressure in head had gotten intense.. odd. Do you hear this a lot? After that these last few days, feeling good! Accepting the anxiety is the first step I think to feeling better and understanding that I’m okay.
Yes, I think I was exhausted beyond as well. Continual no sleep/ lack of sleep / lack of quality sleep all while on vacation. I think I ran myself into the ground with two kids because this all started a few days after we returned home months after my second child. It was a build up of not taking time for myself.
Did your dr say it was adrenal fatigue? How can they check for that? Yes, I’m trying to be patient and not be so quick to body check with every ache and pain!
I don’t go to the chiro much, he is a family friend but it only helps a bit.. I think it comes down to where I hold my tension which is triggered from the anxiety and worry about why I’m feeling yucky. I think this is where all the dizziness comes from? Did you have dizziness? And how would it present for you?
Yes - pmt was a huge trigger for physical and emotional symptoms. This is very very common . Glad you’re feeling better now and yes understanding and accepting this illness is such an important step in recovery.
I only heard about adrenal fatigue recently - someone on a closed fb group for women with post partum physical symptoms mentioned it and it just touched a chord. Saying that many Pooh Pooh the existence from it but in my case certainly different stress factors constant tiredness triggered something which made me ill for ages.
Thanks for the article and the response! That is interesting! It’s so easy for us Moms to become drained very quickly as we take on so much and spend little to no time on ourselves. I still need to make an appointment with a therapist, but to be honest... I’m worried they are going to tell me it’s something else. I’m almost thinking of going back to the neurologist and discussing somethings again. I know I’m crazy but I think it will ease my mind. This detached feeling / derealization really gets to me and hasn’t really gone away and I worry it’s something else!
I really would try techniques to help with the anxiety - the physical symptoms are horrible but probably triggered by the anxiety . I found aerobic exercise hugely beneficial with the depersonalisation symptom - really do give it a go x
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Feeling like ppd is back after feeling so good for 4 months!!
