How long is too long?

[MissS]

I've been suffering with PND For almost two years. I had my son by emergency C section and although I made a good recovery and adore my son my relationship with the father has caused me such anxiety, unhappiness and stress that I can't enjoy parenting. I'm becoming mores distressed and unbalanced each week and although I've finally been referred for counselling I just don't know what to do. The unhappiness is consuming me and I feel like I'm drowning. My baby is now an active toddler who is demanding and much more tiring than a small baby. I work for myself which is a whole other batch of stress. I feel inadequate and a a failure

[rocky77]

Welcome Miss S.

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this terrible illness. Have you seen your dr? Are you getting any help or support? If so is it helping? It really is worth seeing your dr as you don't have to struggle this way .

Can I ask what's been happening with your son's father? Why is the relationship poor?

Having a child can put pressure even on the most solid of relationships - this new life can absorb every minute of the day and it's hard to find the time and even inclination to find that quality bonding time with your partner which can lead to rifts.

With PNI feelings towards others can appear distorted - this was the case with me plus my partner wasn't particularly supportive but later admitted he couldn't handle me with PNI .

I don't know if any of this applies to you but feel free to talk x

[MissS in reply to rocky77]

My partner is a selfish prick. (Excuse the language) he loves our son but has no feelings of care for me I'm pretty certain of.

I don't trust him. he has been aggressive and abusive throughout our relationship mainly since I gave birth. He made me have a termination before the pregnancy with our son and abandoned me whilst I was really ill. My feeling are he is frustrated and angry at me As he can't be towards his own child. He doesn't want the commitment or financial responsibility.

He has worn me down and I feel so low and beaten. I have my own business which puts further strain on me. If it wasn't for the financial Worry I'd have left but I have nowhere to go. (No family at all here) Financially I'm trapped. No disrespect to anyone doing it but a life scrimping on benefits isn't for me.

I have had recent help form my GP and will be starting counselling sessions this coming week so hopefully this will help me find some clarity and a make a plan.

Thank for the kind response.

[rocky77 in reply to MissS]

I'm so sorry about your relationship- it's really positive you have support . I'm sure the counselling will help you find a way out of this turmoil that is PNI then you can plan for your future - you really do have the strength to shape your future and you shouldn't have to put up with any sort of abuse.

All the feelings of inadequacy and failure are common symptoms of PNI. The counselling will help you regain your strength and confidence then you can plan for your future - there is always a solution X

[rocky77]

How are you? X

[MissS in reply to rocky77]

Not bad thanks - started counselling sessions this week. Had a few shaky days still figuring out of if my life will be better as a single parent.

[rocky77]

Counselling can knock you for 6! I had it after I was recovered from PNI due to long waiting lists - I could believe how it floored me but it can really untangle your thoughts, provide coping mechanisms and see the light!

Take one step at a time. I imagine you don't have to make an immediate decision. Maybe strengthen a little bit so whatever course of action you take you'll be in a better place to deal with it x

[MissS]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I finally made the move to leave- we move out of the Shared family home in two weeks time. I haven't secured a new house yet but feel Confident I will and have friends who can put us up until I do. My anxiety and nerves have been quite bad the last six weeks due to a separate incident where a man followed and approached me. I'm just ready for a new start. I know I deserve respect and love from a Partner and I'm

Ready to feel strong again and start really enjoying life with my son. Once we move if the anxiety/depression continues I will seek further counselling. Thanks again for the replies

[rocky77]

Hi Miss S

Great to hear from you and wonderful to hear you're feeling so positive and in control in spite of your recent , horrendous experience. Here's to new and happy beginnings and I truly wish you all the best. You know where we are should you need support even if only to offload. Of course it'll be great to get an update on how you're doing but that's entirely up to you x