The More Philosophical / Reflective Side: My PMR ... - PMRGCAuk

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The More Philosophical / Reflective Side: My PMR / GCA and a Chance Meeting with a Stranger who made me Think...

markbenjamin57 profile image
37 Replies

Greetings All

As some of You Lot know, I appear to be quite an outgoing and usually frivolous contributor here. But (believe it or not), I’m not one for striking up conversations with Strangers in public especially when feeling under the weather with the usual PMR / GCA-related Pain, Stiffness and DF that affect many of us.

That said: during my usually delinquent and grumpy PMR-influenced rampages around WSM this week, I had an intriguing encounter with a distinguished-looking older Gentleman across a crowded space: and whom I thought I recognised from my past.

The Older Man’s enigmatic gaze compelled me to break the awkward silence between us, so I approached him tentatively and asked:

MB: Excuse me, your face is familiar but I can’t place it. What is your name? Have we met somewhere, sometime - maybe professionally? I don’t know…

Stranger (with a kind but wry smile): You’re MB, aren’t you? Just call me ‘GF’. Yes, I know you very well and I’ve been quietly following you around for a long time. Sorry…

MB (still inquisitive but now suspicious): Who are you and how, exactly, do you know me? Why have you been following me? Are you a Detective, or maybe a Stalker? So, please prove to me what YOU know about ME?

GF (with a knowing wink): MB, I can tell you this: You’ve achieved many good things in your life and career so far. You’ve travelled a lot, met and worked with People from all walks of Life, and had some exciting adventures along the way. You’ve loved and been loved in equal measure. Yes, you’ve taken a few risks and made a few mistakes, but that’s ok - we are all Human. Sometimes, Life’s Dice have rolled against you, and you’ve also had some tough Challenges on your Journey. But the main thing is that you have survived all of these things: and you can still Smile - and help others to smile too. Good Fortune has been On Your Side more often than not, and will continue to be. Yes, I’ve always operated quietly in the background of your Life - although you might not have been aware of, or trusted me at times. Make the Most of the GF that you have enjoyed, and share it with others. Enough said?!

The enigmatic GF smiled again - and paused for what seemed like an eternity.

MB (now irritated): So, why are you telling me what I already know?

GF (hastily but cheerily): Because, MB, now that we have met Face to Face and in a brief Moment in Time, you might appreciate exactly how I (GF) work. I’ll give you a clue: Reflect on yourself Positively and you’ll see the Real You more clearly when the Going gets Tough and your Spirits are Low on your PMR Journey. Please pass this Wisdom on to others who might benefit from it too. Sorry, I must go now - I have a few other Confused PMR and GCA Souls to look after, and my Caseload is increasingly busy nowadays! Ta-ta, and Good Luck!

With that, GF faded equally mysteriously back into the crowd.

MB: But.. Wait.. Hang on a minute! Who are you really? What do the initials GF stand for..? Grrr, I want Answers please!

But GF had spoken - and left me to draw my own conlusions. I left the initially crowded but now paradoxically empty space and returned to the Mansions feeling mentally exhausted and confused: my PMR and Pred-addled Brain racing to remember who this fleeting and mysterious but seemingly benevolent Stranger ‘GF’ was in my past Life - not forgetting my present one with PMR.

Eventually, I slept on things with more Questions than Answers in my Mind about the day’s unusual encounter.

The next morning, despite feeling unusually refreshed, I hesitantly glanced in the same old mirror as usual - expecting to see the same old weary, reflected image of myself that I have often known for 4 years on my PMR Journey.

But, to my surprise, guess who I could see smiling gently back at me..? (Clue: GF).

My Conclusion?

Philosophically, sometimes the Answer is hidden in the Question: and how we perceive our Self in the Mirror of Life might depend as much on how we choose to gaze into it than anything else?

Food for thought: especially when battling with the more practical / medical day-to-day challenges of dealing with Life Changing illnesses like PMR and GCA?

Best wishes, and try to stay Positive / not to lose sight of your True Self and Value to Others on the PMR / GCA Journey.

‘Uncle’ MB

p.s. On ‘Reflection’, Note to Self: Better not get rid of that old mirror after all..? ;-) :-D

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markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57
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37 Replies
Angiejnz profile image
Angiejnz

Being a clumsy accident prone person with a very chequered health history, GF is my best friend. I can't find her when depression moves in but I know (head knowledge) that she's there when I wake up and know I've been given another day. Brilliant piece of writing MB, you have a gift for thought provoking, erudite wit (is that an oxymoron???) xx

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Angiejnz

Thanks Angie :-). I know it can be difficult to believe in the idea of GF when feeling so down. But that was the intended message in my Post - even if a bit oblique! ;-)

Angiejnz profile image
Angiejnz in reply to markbenjamin57

More profound than oblique 🤣

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane

Inspirational tale Mark. Thanks for posting. Nice photo too.

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to SheffieldJane

Ta Jane, I try to consider and contribute positively here around the more Emotional Side of our types of Journey in between the more Clinical stuff. As for the photo? Well, it's from a few years ago and pre-PMR, but it's how I like to see / a reminder of my true Self when having a bad PMR day.. ;-)

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12 in reply to markbenjamin57

You are a very handsome and distinguished man. Xxx

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Daisychain12

Thanks Linda - the cheque's in the post ;-) :-D

Thought provoking post Mark.......Nice one.

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to

No prob Pd, all part of the service. Keep well - and smiling if you can... ;-)

scats profile image
scats

Blimy Mark, that's deep!

Hidden depths eh?

That's what my husband always claims he has.

I can only echo PD......nice one.

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to scats

Ha scats! Dunno about 'Deep' but you remind me of when I was a precocious 10 year-old at Primary Skool and my Headmaster said to my parents: "MB will go far in Life. Trouble is, none of us know how far, in what direction, or for how long". The rest is history... :-D

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12 in reply to markbenjamin57

My English teacher wrote: Linda revels in the low life”. ??????

Constance13 profile image
Constance13

“Mirror, mirror on the wall.......”?

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Constance13

Well spotted... ;-)

Zofitmogelijk profile image
Zofitmogelijk

hallo uncle MB, thank you for the good story. --and you had to go out to meet the stranger within ?--

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Zofitmogelijk

Yep Aletta - sometimes we need to go outside to understand what's happening inside..? ;-)

Grants148 profile image
Grants148

Thankyou for your inspiring post,l must say you look very fit and happy in the picture you have posted.l hope that you will continue to be just like your picture,the PMR /GCA journey can be very challenging but your posts on this forum have helped us all and you have obviously come through it all and can enjoy your life and be happy,and have the inner strength to cope with any future setbacks .All the best Mark,have a nice day .

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Grants148

Thanks Patricia. Yes, I consider myself to be fortunate despite a few adventures (+/-) along the way. To be continued... ;-)

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12 in reply to markbenjamin57

Please do continue xxx

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Daisychain12

Ok, if you insist... ;-)

Nice one Mark, it reminds me of something I read many years ago which went something like this.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach

with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene,

he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand.

One belonged to him, and the other to the Lord. The scenes kept flashing before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life, there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him

and he questioned the Lord about it; "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you the most you would leave me."

The Lord replied,

"My precious, precious child,

I love you and would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints, it is then that I carried you."

~Author Unknown~

Pete :-)

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to

Ta Pete - this famous one was probably in the back of my mind when I wrote my Post. Same message, just put differently? ;-)

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to

I love that Pastit!

in reply to SheffieldJane

Yes, it's one of those things that either gets to you or doesn't, if you know what I mean :-)

Bronni profile image
Bronni

Your acronyms are throwing me off and as of now, my addled brain has only a slight idea of WTF you are talking about 😂

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Bronni

:-D

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12 in reply to Bronni

Love you Bronni xxx

borednow profile image
borednow in reply to Bronni

I've only just worked it out

Wraysbury profile image
Wraysbury in reply to Bronni

🤣

coda123 profile image
coda123

No wonder we all love you MB, you are a GF to all of us.

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to coda123

Thanks coda, but careful now - the Dalai Lama might get a bit jealous if he thinks I'm muscling-in on his Inspirational Stuff... ;-) :-D

coda123 profile image
coda123 in reply to markbenjamin57

HH the Dalai Lama loves a good laugh, you would get along just fine.

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12

Oh Mark. Thank you. You really write so beautifully. I have a lump in my throat. Xxxxx

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Daisychain12

Believe it or not, I do have a deeper side in between all the silly stuff wot I write here... ;-)

Jackoh profile image
Jackoh

We are all here to help and support each other. Thank you that you do that consistently! ( see I can be serious if I want to be!!😜)

markbenjamin57 profile image
markbenjamin57 in reply to Jackoh

Quite right Jackie. Well, I do my best one way or another.. ;-)

morrison profile image
morrison

I visit BF most days. They are strong people, survivors like us. X

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