PMRGCAuk
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The Lighter Side: Auto Theft Update. I Smell a Rat - Or maybe a Bear..? ;-)

The Lighter Side: Auto Theft Update.  I Smell a Rat - Or maybe a Bear..? ;-)

Ok ok ok. So, a mere 24 hours later, the precious Limo has been returned to where I left it, as if by Magic. Phew! AND… all valeted, filled up with fuel and the tyres dressed. No damage, just some familiar looking FUR on the driver’s seat and 500 more miles on the clock than when I last used it. 500 miles in 24 hours..? And, oh yes, an empty Vodka bottle in the glove box. Sounds a bit like what sometimes happens with the Valet Parking service at Heathrow airport…

And the Old Bill have contacted me. They have CCTV footage of The Suspect - a notoriously cheeky Rascal with previous form for ‘borrowing’ Luxury cars from their owners. Trouble is, he ‘bears’ (first clue..) a striking resemblance to You Know Who (next clue as if you haven't got it already…).

What to do? The Limo is back safe and sound but Tedski has gone AWOL. But.. hang on a minute.. who’s that on WSM beach making a giant sandcastle in the shape of an old car?

To quote the lyrics from a famous 1960s Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes song: ‘If You Don’t Know Me by Now…. da de da de da etc’ ;-)

Now, Hands Up: I apologise for, and hereby solemnly promise not to keep writing these silly stories which, for better or worse, take-in some of You Lot hook line and sinker. Well, for the rest of this week at least… :-D

But seriously, thanks for your genuine (if mis-guided - sorry!) concerns. But it just goes to show what a Sincere and Genuine Lot you are when the chips are down.

Enjoy your weekend - and if you suffer from PRED HEAD don’t leave your car keys lying around. You never know WHO might be waiting to snaffle them ;-)

‘Uncle’ MB

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500 miles in 24 hours is nothing...

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.. on the UK's roads?

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London to Arbroath, 497 miles. Have done that in 24 hours for years... Bit further, Dundee to Dover (550-ish) also possible - morning start, overnight near Dover, on the ferry by breakfast...

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My 'commute' as a signpost photographer in the 1990s was End to End from Land's End to John O'Groats and back every 6 weeks...stood at JOG signpost 9a.m, arrived Land's End at 3a.m., went home to bed. About 875 miles. The magical bit was at night, with music! And chocolate...

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Yep, that sounds realistic. I once did the Scottish Highlands to WSM in 24 hours (about 700 miles). Not all in one go - with regular comfort stops. Not sure I'd do it now though... energy and concentration not quite as sharp with PMR.

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Have to join in. Until this silly confusing condition and I was working outside Turin I regularly used to drive back from Cocconato (near Turin) to the Cotswolds (1540 kilometers) in daylight leaving at 6:30 in the morning and with the extra hour and the tunnel clear back home for 8:30 pm. A few days back in the UK and then the return trip but because of the M25 and the hour going the wrong way, I didn't used to get back to Cocconato until nearer midnight. Couldn't do it now as the "tiredness" would probably overtake me but would love to have a try!!

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I now refuse to do what we used to to do: Rotterdam/Ijmuiden/Zeebrugge to here in the day, 12+ hours (says it is 10 1/2 hours driving time from Holland, bit more from Belgium). I will consider driving it all myself in 2 days - with a hotel and good meal halfway. :-)

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Sounds like a much more civilized journey befittingly!

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Quite!

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Loved living in the Cotswold, sold our house over 10 years ago - wish we’d kept it!😏😏 Couldn’t afford a GARAGE there now!!

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Luckily bought mine 23 years ago but just on the edge

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Obviously he kept driving😉

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Only 24 hours from Tulsa, 🏪 but

didn’t get that far, as it included return, check out inticing spots 250 miles away.!!!

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🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 Fool me once....

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Oohhhh....

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I will never understand British humour.

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:-D I think it's because some of Us Brits have a healthy sense of the Ridiculous?

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Don't tar us all with the same brush, he's a one off!

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Ha scats! :-D

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Mark is in a class of his own. Tedski looks disappointingly cute. I am beginning to suspect that it was Markski all along.

One day he will complain about something real and we will ignore him with a “yeah right”! Attitude.

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That's the trouble Jane! Maybe a Preface in any (rare, for me) serious Post saying: 'Warning, This Is Serious'. But of course that would only make you more suspicious..

As for Tedski - I might rough him up a bit for his co-appearance at the Members' Day on 8 Sept. OH NOOO.. THE SECRET'S OUT!!!!! :-D

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The boy who cried Wolf!

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Exactly! X

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You said we’d get on well! Ahh, ‘twas just a fleeting visit, but fun. 😉😂🤣

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Okay, so that's twice bitten!

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Trouble is, none of you might take me seriously ever again ;-)

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Take you seriously!!😂😂😂😂😂

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That's the Spirit..! :-)

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Who is the crazy one who took you seriously the first time - I must have a word with them!! Whoops, it was me.

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Ha Keith - a few of You Lot actually. For once, my story was a bit TOO plausible. Note to self - signpost the Gags. On the other hand, keep them guessing? :-D

Congrats on the new role - look forward to a catch-up with you on 8 September.

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Quite!

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What makes you think we do anyway!

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Phew, that's a relief to know, DL ;-)

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And you had us all worried for you! Just as well I’m off the Preds! Now if it had been April 1st we would have taken it with a pinch of salt. No that’s not good for the heart either.

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Sorry Patricia - just occasionally I know I make the silly Posts sound a bit TOO plausible :-D

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Lovely to see Tedski with his devilish grin!

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The Dopey little sheep I sleep with looks more sinister than him.

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Right THAT'S IT. The Gloves are OFF. Tedski Vs. Dopey Sheep. FIIIGGGHHHHT!!! :-D

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Message from dopey sheep. “ whatever”! 🐏

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Ok. We'll see.. :-)

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Meh!

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Reply from Tedski: "GGGGRRRRR" (I've given him a Vodka to send him to sleep).

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You sure it wasn’t Paddington Bear??😊😊😊

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Ha! Well, he does look a bit like a benign Paddington version - so I'm going to toughen him up a bit for added theatrical effect. Watch this space.. ;-) :-D

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What are you like? If l hadn’t been so busy moving House I’d have probably fell for it too! 😂

But blaming Tedski!.........

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Ha ha MrsN :-D But who else to blame but Tedski now I've worn-out the old trick of blaming You Lot for encouraging me in this silliness?!

Hope the settling-in is going ok with all its 'snags'.. you'll get there :-)

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Sitting the Conservatory, sipping Medicinal Wine 🍷 listening to Party Music from Our Ruby Wedding Party last year!

Trying to order Sheets etc but one now needs a degree in Textiles! 😂

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Great - enjoy! Don't talk to me about buying sheets though... :-D

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Linen Angela! Washed soft linen, they are wonderful. Look ok unironed, bliss to sleep on.

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Volvo story???????????? 🤔 Go figure xx

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I did. Trusty Volvo '1': Thieves '0'?

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Wrong, it actually happened and I ended up in a big fight with my insurance company - long story - but I won in the end.

Keep your postings up Mark, they brighten my life. 😄

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Ohhh, jinasc. But always nice to bring and share few Smiles here though. Off to sleep now, will be in touch again soon :-)

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I thought as much and Oh! a long awaited picture of the rascal Tedski....... l must admit he is a lot larger than l imagined, he must take up considerable space if he decides to snuggle up to you in bed,does he leave you enough room,or do you end up on the sofa for the night? I can understand now how difficult it must be to keep him under control as he looks very self assured and as l have already said,rather large....cute with it though,l would not want to upset him !

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Actually Grants, the current Tedski kips on the balcony in a special kennel with his own Sky TV, cocktail bar and BBQ equipment. He's a bit of an Outdoor type and likes to sniff the Atlantic air that wafts across the bay. Yep, this one's cute and a bit mischievous. But watch out, Tedski 'Mark' Two is in development. Be scared - very scared... ;-) :-D

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Did I miss this post? Yes!

Did I tell you who stole the Merc? Yes! Was I right? Yes!

Did I know it was Fake News? Yes!

Did I expect to see Tedski? No!

Well I can't always be right 🤣

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Well spotted Pete, 9/10 for Observation :-)

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Well 9 out of 10 is not bad for an old timer like me :-)

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Oh well in this world of 'fake news' why would I be surprised ! ? Think part of my personal gullibility is that I was never very 'good' at 'teasing' - I never understood it and apparently still don't. Although swathes of Aussies are infamous for taking the 'mickey' (out of 'each other') - this is a popular cultural aspect I have also never been inspired by - being a 'sheep-headed' Kiwi (apparently). Guess we can't all be talented in the same ways - and your sense of the imaginary is so strong Mark I'm sure you will continue to create much amusement here for some time to come ...

Best wishes

Rimmy

PS. But I am STILL pleased your car IS safe and sound - IMAGINE if it was not !!

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Ha Rimmy, well, I do have previous form for being a practical joker and general wind-up merchant. Just my devious way of getting attention - I blame a confusing and traumatic childhood.

For example: one day, my mother (RIP) detached the stabiliser wheels from my bicycle with NO warning. I was age 31 at the time, and married with a full-time job. Cruel or what? :-D

At a school Careers Day, my parents asked one of my teachers: "what do you think Mark will be when he grows up?" The teacher's reply: "About 40".

Thanks and Keep Smiling on the Journey.. :-)

p.s. Greetings from the UK! :-)

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I always imagined Tedski to be a ‘ little Ted’ it was quite a shock to see how large he is,l dread to see your next one,Tedski Mark Two,l hope they will both get on well together,or you will have even more trouble on your hands.

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:-D! Well, I thought a slightly more 'edgy' Tedski might just get You Lot giggling. Reminds me of the old saying: 'He (or she) who Sins, Grins..' ;-)

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Did you actually buy Tedski to impress us aunties, and AFTER your diagnosis?

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I picked him up in the local Charity shop recently and couldn't resist making him part of my Narrative.. ;-)

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👍🍾🍸🍸🍸🍸

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When I say 'picked him up', I actually paid £3.50 for him! :-D

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You PAID for him?? You really did want to impress the aunties, didn’t you?

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Yup. I immediately fell for those big brown eyes, cute soft voice and sweet smile. But that's enough about the young lady Charity shop assistant who persuaded me to buy him... ;-) :-D

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Bet she was as old as a few of your aunties on here!

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It's ever a Man's place to ask a Lady her age. But that doesn't rule-out trying to guess it... ;-) :-D

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We NEVER believed it anyway Mark or, at the very least, we WERE all sceptical. No-one Jokes about a genuine theft, especially not, of a prized car!

Mind you, that Teddy needs a good 'Stuffing'- teach him some manners. Nothing too severe, just the Bear essentials. You know, so he doesn't Drive you crazy...….

Thanks for the giggle, hope that I have returned one.

AndrewT

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Greetings Andrew, nice to hear from you :-)

Well, yep: Hands-up, and perhaps a Wind-up too far this time? Ohhhh, even well intentioned Humour can backfire on you sometimes - as I know.

As for Teddy: not sure about 'stuffing' him. I tend to reserve that for the Christmas Turkey - but I get your drift. As for 'Bear' essentials and 'Driving' etc... nice one!

Yes, always good to share a giggle here - and to roll-with the equally (or even more?) witty 'punches' (banter) from You Lot too. I like a bit of competition.. ;-) :-D

Thanks and best wishes - look forward to staying in touch.

MB

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