Thinned Skinned, Moon Faced, Bloated and Down in ... - PMRGCAuk

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Thinned Skinned, Moon Faced, Bloated and Down in the Dumps

73 Replies

Those that can't do.... rant!

rantingsofamadwomanblog.com...

Warning: May contain a few choice words, sorry. ; o

73 Replies
stellafmdm profile image
stellafmdm

Wow! is that your art work Mamici1? It is fab!!! So is the ranter's blog!! don't we all resonate with it just totally???

in reply to stellafmdm

Oh, goodness no!!!! I wish... that's a Picasso "Nude Woman with Necklace" 1968 Hopefully the credit is out there, isn't it???

stellafmdm profile image
stellafmdm in reply to

Excuse my ignorance! The credit is probably there but the brain fog obscured it!

in reply to stellafmdm

No, no... it was an honest mistake. You just thought I was that good! Hahahahahaha!

stellafmdm profile image
stellafmdm in reply to

I sure did!!! Your monster is so creative!!!

in reply to stellafmdm

HA! xxx

Chrob profile image
Chrob in reply to

Yes it’s there ,but how did he know then how I look now .

in reply to Chrob

Hahahahahaha! YES!!! YOU GOT IT!!! That is EXACTLY what I thought!!!!! !!

ConventCassie profile image
ConventCassie in reply to

Picasso could really have done justice to this disease, couldn’t he?

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

Hi,

Don’t you think it’s a sad reflection of 21st Century thinking that we actually need an International Women’s Day! Does that means the other 364(5) are designated International Men’s Day?

I don’t need a pat on the head on one day of the year to celebrate the fact I’m a woman!

After all, I AM a Viking goddess - see healthunlocked.com/pmrgcauk...

in reply to DorsetLady

Yes, I agree, dedicating "a single day," to the awe-inspiring, goddesses of greatness and light that we all are... is bullshit! However, I won't refuse "their" tiny beam and I'll just bloody TAKE it the other 364 days a year!

“When you light a candle, you also cast a shadow.” ~ Ursula K. Le Guin.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to DorsetLady

It is a sad reflection of the current day but, just think, women have only had the vote for a hundred years, less than that in most countries. Even as recently as when I was at university there were all kinds of sexist barriers to us. (Which I was kind of oblivious to having been raised by a father who didn't insist that I was a little princess or any such foolishness. He wanted me to be a nuclear physicist. Too bad I can't do arithmetic!) Look on it as affirmative action. How else can we have our voice heard? I know far more about African-Canadian history and culture, or aboriginal culture and the injustices perpetrated upon them, because of the months devoted to talking about the issues concerning these disadvantaged groups. I think we should have a Women's Month. And maybe a Children's Month, too, considering how in so many places children are so mistreated and exploited. When the world no longer needs these things, when, as Bob Marley said, the colour of a man's skin is no more important than the colour of his eyes, THEN we will have attained the place we are all aiming for.

Today the picture of an African-Canadian woman has officially been released on one of our banknotes. Big step, and it took the kind of awareness-raising that Women's Day helps promote.

Insight329 profile image
Insight329 in reply to HeronNS

Viola Desmond on your $10 bill, right?

Chelsea Clinton was on Good Morning America promoting her new book, She Persisted. The book showcases women that faced challenges but persisted to reach their goals, change policy, etc. Clinton wrote/spoke about Viola Desmond and reported that on that very day, Canada was releasing a new $10 bill with Viola Desmond's picture on it. I hate to admit, but I didn't know Desmond's story. When I read about it, I found it fascinating that she 'took a stand' approximately 10 years before Rosa Parks. Strong woman!!!!

Today my goal is to get to 10mg Pred. My inspiration are the women (and men) here that continue to persist in the face of these illnesses. You are all warriors!

in reply to Insight329

I didn't know the story either... but now I do!!!! Thank you both!!!!!

Good luck Insight329, with that inspiration you can't fail!

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to Insight329

They released the design today, because it is International Women's Day, but I guess we won't actually have this bill in our hands until later this year.

cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-sco...

in reply to HeronNS

Cool!

in reply to HeronNS

Hi HeronNS, Thanks for sharing that! That is fabulous.... I had no idea. I hadn't heard. I agree with you... if we don't continue to shine a light i.e. with official "day's" or "months" of emphasis being put on a particular group, people lose focus and forget. I 'd support your Women's Month and your Children's Month!!

Love the Bob Marley Reference...

That until there no longer

First class and second class citizens of any nation

Until the colour of a man's skin

Is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes

Me say war

That until the basic human rights

Are equally guaranteed to all

Without regard to race

Dis a war

Cheers

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to

How much better our lives might be, how much more understanding our friends, relatives and caregivers might be, if every year some emphasis was placed on a day talking about autoimmune diseases? There is one, but have you ever heard of it being observed?

timeanddate.com/holidays/wo...

in reply to HeronNS

Never heard of it! ...but good to know!

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to

Well, that's the point. I suppose ppl in our situation for the most part don't have the energy to put into publicizing an autoimmune awareness day. :D

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to HeronNS

Hi HeronNS,

I’m not dissing it per se, I know things have come on in leaps and bounds over the last century, and if we learn more about women and their achievements then that’s nothing but good.

But I do find it slightly patronising that there has to be special day to highlight the ability of women, it still shows we are not considered (by some) to be on the same level as men, otherwise it wouldn’t be necessarily.

Just my opinion.

For the last 60 odd years we’ve had a woman on our bank notes (HM) - sometimes two - Britannia (!), Elizabeth Fry, Florence Nightingale, Jane Austin to name but a few!

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to DorsetLady

Well,of course we've had the Queen on one of our most used bills for rather a long time. ;) This morning on FB I saw a delightful film of children sorting pink and blue coloured balls into separate containers. There were teams of two, boy and girl. At the end each child got a reward. The girls received considerably less than the boy, and there was an ensuing conversation about why, and fairness, etc. Then in every case (of course) the boy shared his extra until each child had an equal amount. They all agreed that each child had done the same work so it was only fair that they should receive the same reward.

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to HeronNS

I think sometimes if the politicians left things to us, we could run the world much better, and perhaps more importantly more amicably. 🌹

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to DorsetLady

Oh I agree with you. Well off white males are the dominant species. I think we who aren't well off white males have to keep hammering away at the issues which diminish our perceived worth. As that's most of the human race we should manage to win in the end! There've been huge changes in my lifetime, and of course things had already started to change decades before that. But it's hard to change systems and mindsets which have been in place for centuries if not millennia.

in reply to DorsetLady

Hi DL, There is an "International MEN'S Day," too, which is Monday, November 19th, 2018.

I personally don't think setting aside a specific day to celebrate or acknowledge a particular subset of people is necessarily patronising... It's educational and sheds light on the current condition of that group.

Like HeronNS said, she knew far more about "African-Canadian history and culture and aboriginal culture because of the months devoted to talking about their specific issues.

It's not like the global communities/committees, etc. that come that come up with these "International Days/Months" are purposely trying to be condescending or disrespectful... to another group. Its just a way to draw attention to and validate the circumstances of a subset of people.

ConventCassie profile image
ConventCassie in reply to DorsetLady

I couldn’t figure out that day either. People don’t read enough history. There are so many great women who accomplished so much all without ‘marches’ or ‘days’.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to ConventCassie

Watched a tv show last night about women in art, which showed the tremendous obstacles women have had to face when they wanted to do or be anything other than a nun or someone's wife. It may have been in Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own that I read the speculation that if Shakespeare had had an equally gifted sister she would likely have ended up dead in a ditch. We would certainly never have heard of her.

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to HeronNS

Talking of Shakespeare, if you ever get to see the BBC's Upstart Crow series (about said William) it's very amusing, so long as you don't object to the language not being particularly PC!

ConventCassie profile image
ConventCassie in reply to DorsetLady

I quoted you on Facebook because I couldn’t understand this need to be recognized either. I did learn thou that the Russians started it in 1908 so I’m all for tradition and will gladly drink red beer to celebrate! (A throwback to the Russian Workers revolution-May 1st)

in reply to ConventCassie

I don't think it has anything to do with a "need to be recognised." It began as a strategy to promote equal rights (including suffrage for women), women demanding they be able to hold public office and as a protest against employment sex discrimination.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inter...

christine2715 profile image
christine2715 in reply to DorsetLady

Have found on my ancestry that I am a Viking too and have 25% Scandinavian in my blood - wonder why they think it might be genetic - one of the medical students of Prof. Das Gupta at Southend is looking into this re GCA I think.

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to christine2715

Hi Christine,

Most introductions to PMR and/or GCA include wording similar to following -

“Although the etiology and pathogenesis of PMR are not known, epidemiologic studies suggest that there are both genetic and environmental factors involved in the development of this disease.

This is further evidenced by a geographic variance in the incidence of PMR, with the highest rates seen among inhabitants of and descendants from Northern European countries. While PMR has been observed in people of Hispanic, Asian, and African heritage, incidence rates among these ethnicities are notably lower.”

I don’t think anyone actually knows the main reason, but I guess it’s similar to the fact that people of African, Asian and Hispanic heritage are liable to sickle cell anemia whereas northern Europeans appear not to be. Just a quirk of nature maybe?

My post on Vikings was written slightly tongue in cheek, but there is obviously conclusive evidence that they do have a lot to answer for 😳 and they certainly got about a bit in their Longboats.

DL aka Freyja

It would be interesting to see if Prof’s medical student goes up with something more concrete.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane

You have the gift of being our voice. You put into words our deep, dark, secret feelings of worthlessness. In spite of impressive careers and fabulous kids. I think we got hit hard with the “looks” culture, hiding our sharp brains under a bushel ( no pun intended, honest). Then the appalling fashion industry promoting angular boys’ bodies, because their daft creations look better. Not many women are naturally that height or shape. So everybody feels inadequate. Then the anti-ageing industry. We desperately buy expensive products to fend it off, from head to toe. Or cut ourselves about.

Does anyone else get annoyed by the prevalence of incontinence pad advertisements? Everything conspires to make us feel inadequate. I am sure men have these requirements too.

It just makes a disease that ruins our poor efforts even further, harder to bear. It’s not vanity it’s survival.

Thanks again.👊🏼 🌸

PS. We are the same age and I am not sure that it is much better for our daughters in some ways the pressure is greater.

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to SheffieldJane

Hi Jane,

Not going to comment on your bushel🙀but I do believe as we get older...albeit invisible to many in society ...we do become empowered.

I now longer worry that I’m not not going to have long straight hair or a boyish body (ala the models of the 60s & 70s, Jean Shrimpton or Twiggy), I don’t have to have the latest hairstyle, dress, iPhone et al. I dress to suit myself, I know what clothes and colours work for me!

I gently flirt with men occasionally, and know it’s not going to get me in trouble, well not like that!

I speak my mind, in other words I’m me. And actually I quite like me! No wonder my husband chose me! Clever and wise man.

I do worry for my granddaughter though, girls these days are judged much more that we were - and not in good way.

in reply to DorsetLady

Hi DL, Although, I believe "some" of us become somewhat empowered. Other women, after years of conditioning, social and cultural pressures, perhaps buckle under the pressure. Have you seen some of the older/more mature women out there (and not just the Hollywood crowd) with "fish lips," "bat brows," and that scary, surprised, wide eyed, frozen expression? The numbers are staggering. And despite the fact, that I would fight for their right to have any and all of that work done, I would always (and hopefully without malice or judgement) question the reason they felt it necessary in the first place. (Although I think, a small piece of me knows why) And even you, who I totally believe is EMPOWERED and oozing with SELF CONFIDENCE mentions above, you know the clothes and colours that, "...work for you," and you "...gently flirt with men occasionally." So perhaps there is at least a semi-conscious part of you, that (like many of us) wants to be "accepted," "approved of" and maybe even "desired." (?) Just a thought... I could be totally wrong.

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to

I partially agree with some of your comments.

I do like to be accepted (by people I like, not necessarily everyone);

do I want to approved of?- maybe, but not so much as when I was younger perhaps;

do I want to be desired? - I was totally for 47 years by the one man who loved me as much as I loved him. I don't wish to be desired again in the same way, but maybe I like to appear attractive, witty and good company to both men and women. But that's on my terms, if somebody doesn't like me I don't go into a corner and cry!

As for beauty, I believe it comes from within, not from a surgeon's scalpel... but then I've never been put on a pedestal as an ideal woman so I don't need to maintain that adoration.

I've lived a fairly charmed life, and I know I'm lucky in that, never rich in monetary terms but wealthy in family and friends.

I am what I am, and I'm confident to plough my own furrow. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy company I do, but I'm very happy with my own.

in reply to DorsetLady

YES, I hear ya! And I agree... as I said I have NO DOUBT that you are empowered, self confident, self reliant, independent, etc, etc,

I also believe beauty comes from within, but as I try my best to be honest with myself, and know that I sometimes surrender to human frailties like ego, vanity, pride, etc. I'm ok with that. I recognise it and put it in check.

The only reason I commented on your comment was that you said, "... as we get older... we do become empowered." SOME people do, yes. I don't believe it's a given It does not automatically comes with age. Namaste.

in reply to

I watch older films and tv to remember there was a time when women in show business didn't have marshmallow pouts. Goddess bless charlotte rampling. Looks magnificent and, although she may have had work done, it doesn't look like it to me. Unhappy to be proved wrong. O can't think of any other "stars" that Ha vent had work of some kind.

That said....all the women in films we think as glamouroys...rita Hayworth (watching gilda) Marilyn Crawford etc all had loads of work done but not the massive pouts. You can see needle marks on loads of them.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to DorsetLady

But you are beautiful too as your latest pics testify.

I really am letting the side down in a swamp of negativity. Pollyanna has left me, temporarily I hope, to be replaced by a muttering, sneering monster.

Melissa puts it better, you sense a bit of a wink.

Sandradsn profile image
Sandradsn in reply to SheffieldJane

Pollyanna and the glad game,always wanted to be like her!!

in reply to SheffieldJane

Thank you SheffieldJane, your lovely compliment made me smile. : )

And I agree with your every word. We are hit from all sides... we are never enough as we are. And I'm not 100% sure that men do feel these same pressures from society?

PS - I LOVED THE BUSHEL COMMENT! I may have thin skin, but I'm not thinned skinned. : )

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane

Consumerism is attempting to render men as insecure and neurotic as women. As the mother of a son I’ve watched in horror as they succumb to eating disorders, steroid use etc. To pursue impossible physical perfection.

It’s a joy to see an ordinary male arm on TV.

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply to SheffieldJane

Just the arm?? Why do you think I love Rugby?

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to DorsetLady

You are just naughty DL,

in reply to SheffieldJane

OH! I stand corrected... and I'm sorry to hear this!!! I guess I don't pay enough attention, as the only male around me is Mr White and I do believe his days of caring about (let alone pursuing) physical perfection are long gone. ; ) That's sad that young men are falling prey to the same BS women are being fed.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to

So that they will buy more stuff. I remodelled my Mr 30 years ago and now he’s more dapper than me.

in reply to SheffieldJane

Hahahahahaha. Mine refused to be "remodelled!"

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to

Not my son. He succumbs to nothing especially not his mother’s wish that he would stop prevaricating and get a job, any job.

Errr! Sorry! Must have stumbled into a parallel universe !

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to

I am currently reading Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula LeGuin, if you want to read about a parallel universe.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to HeronNS

I looked it up. I have never read a book like that or much science fiction at all. I am tempted to download it to change my headspace. It sounds really interesting.

in reply to HeronNS

Ahhhhh, cool.

Q-owl profile image
Q-owl in reply to HeronNS

I've just read The Power by Naomi Alderman, questions many assumptions. Used to love Ursula Le Guin, so will try your recommendation.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to

It did start with a complaint about the havoc this disease plays with our appearance, especially the moon face and how we care too much. Actually it started with mamici ‘s blog. Where have you been?

in reply to SheffieldJane

Coughing my lungs up amongst other delights of the lurgey! Hey! I've got a moonface too & none of the harem wants to know me now!!!!

in reply to

Oooooooo, poor you!

(sorry you are not well though... feel better soon! )

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to

Poor you Pepperdoggie, you’ll have to make do with your virtual friends here. Get well soon.💐

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to

You sound like my hubby who is just finishing his second antibiotic. This one seems to be working but now he's complaining of an extremely painful shoulder which means he can't deal with snow shovelling, nor even lugging garbage bag to the curb. His PMR-weakened wife has to do that. At least he's stopped coughing 24/7. I asked him with some trepidation whether he had pain in both shoulders (please, I prayed, not two people with PMR in the same household simultaneously) but it is one shoulder.

in reply to HeronNS

OM MY! Can you imagine?

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to HeronNS

I sometimes think that my husband wants to join me in PMR, we do everything else together.

What ever happened to Boy Scouts - for the snow clearing I mean?

You should not be doing that Heron and you know it.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to SheffieldJane

I know I shouldn't. Yesterday evening, right after our power went off again (why? heavy snow on the lines?), I said I was going out for a walk, but I took the shovel to clear off the steps and ended up not walking but instead moving as much extremely heavy snow as I could off the cars and out of the driveway. I was very slow and methodical and didn't lift so much as push and pull. And this morning I can hardly move. My son was home and when I came in again he was appalled, he said he didn't know I was doing that, he thought I'd just gone out for a walk as I said I would. Do I never learn? And of course the plough has blocked the end of my driveway again so I can't get out this morning anyway, will have to walk to the weekly market and only buy what I can carry. Sigh.

in reply to HeronNS

Seriously! What are you always telling me and others?????? Rest, rest, rest!

Are you nuts???

These are your own words, "...moving as much extremely heavy snow as I could off the cars and out of the driveway."

??????????????

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply to

Well the idea was that I'd be able to hop in the car and drive to the market this morning, but as you can see I haven't left the house yet! It's just after 9 a.m. as I write this, so I am now going to get dressed and walk in the sunshine 🌞 to the market. I do need eggs, I think I can manage to carry those home....

in reply to

?

in reply to

! All that pocket money I spent on Charles Atlas equipment to no avail!! I still got sand kicked in my face & remained a 10 stone weakling!! Alas my looks didn't improve either that's why I'm stuck in relationship with a bloody Gorilla now!! ATB

in reply to

Hahahahahahaha

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to

Point taken. Boys worry too.

🤣 laughing with you.

Rimmy profile image
Rimmy

Hello Melissa

Another excellent blog on several subjects 'close to my heart'. I have said before here that I am or aspire to be a 'radical feminist' and before anyone concludes that means I am a brick thrower or building burner - no !! - 'radical' meaning at the root. In other words I am not seduced by notions of 'inclusion' and 'equality' which do nothing to change the fundamental misogynistic and patriarchal nature of society - 'add and stir' mentalities just perpetuate in a sugar coated form what we ALREADY have. And while the #METOO thing has enabled women who might otherwise not have felt confident or supported to come forward and discuss or expose the abuses and exploitation they have experienced for much of their lives - it has also regrettably been strongly associated with Hollywood 'glamour' and the faces and bodies of women whose appearances only reinforce notions of desirability and perfection most women can never achieve let alone afford. There is also of course the dark 'underbelly' of this normalised culture of youth and certain forms of 'beauty'

As your friend mentioned Melissa we live in a 'hyper-sexualised' (often violent) pornographised world where popular culture - films, video games and imagery of every kind reinforces and promotes an unrealistic physicality of women - often dehumanised and detached from a true sense of 'embodiment '- where we hurt, feel, bleed, cry and actually 'live'. Ageing is also increasing regarded - along with appearance as an 'individual' responsibility - something we should be able to control - with all the available interventions. While $$$$ are clearly driving factors when people try to 'sell' us our own weight loss (that one ALWAYS makes me laugh) or physical 'rejuvenations/'refreshing'/makeovers'face and body lifts etc etc - even more than this we are somehow encouraged to think we are 'moral failures' if we have not (at least physically) avoided the ravages of life and time.

I am at risk of rambling on here but you know the gist - and it is like peeling layers off a cemented onion. As a woman of my generation (b. 1952) I also grew up drenched in the notion that the biggest rewards for women were in fitting the attractive 'paradigm'. I also loved art and the aesthetics of textiles, clothing and design.The 'ARTS' therefore presented huge challenges for me as I had to reconcile my attractions in these areas with my rad-fem politics - a constant struggle. Picasso is actually a good case in point - read Arianna Stassinopoulous Huffington's bio of him which reveals his terrible shocking misogyny - no wonder the 'women wept' and in some cases killed themselves ,,,

But we can't it seems throw 'the baby out with the bath water' - we have to 'live' in this world as imperfect as it is and as we find ourselves. I am reluctantly concluding now things are obviously NOT going to change 'radically' in my lifetime and of course I worry about the future for my grandchildren (two boys and a girl) because I WANT a more empathic and decent world for them and for ALL children. However, my own granddaughter (among other children of course) is a 'force of nature' - artistic, creative and a natural 'zoo' supervisor of a menagerie of animals which she cares for assiduously - seems totally disinterested in 'girly' stuff (and this has not been orchestrated by me) so I have 'hope' ...which is surely worth cultivating. In the meantime in an effort to stay a little 'sane' I work on the fact that those who ever 'loved' me did so in spite of how I looked or how 'well' I have been - they actually loved 'me' - the whole 'damned mess' of me ... and in this world of exploitation and superficial 'fakery' - I am endlessly grateful for them and for that .

R.

X

in reply to Rimmy

Dear Rimmy, RIGHT ON!!!!!

Your perfect response is overflowing with intense passion and .... and I expected nothing less than that spectacular response from YOU!!!

Thank you, you did not disappoint!!!!

...but did you not recognise YOUR OWN WORDS?

YOU, my dear, are the "virtual, acquaintance (whom I am just getting to know, but already admire and respect)."

Those are YOUR words, to me... verbatim!!!!! I thought they were quite philosophical and very profound!

xxx

PS Your grand daughter does sound "like a force of nature!" Perhaps a bit like her Grandmother!

Rimmy profile image
Rimmy in reply to

So generous Melissa as you always are - and my own words ? - yes of course I recognise them now and I would of course still reiterate them ...

XX

in reply to Rimmy

Of course you would!!!! It was an honour to quote you!

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to Rimmy

I agree with all of this. Thank you for articulating it so well Rimmy. Clearly your genes are marching on in your granddaughter. That’s the main way we improve the world with loved, well rounded, aware, confident,progeny.

Ljm12345 profile image
Ljm12345

Namaste x

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