Thank you all for your support on my last post- here's the update. It was a stressful and extremely exhausting w/e as I needed to keep up or be left out and I couldn't miss out on my granddaughters. I didn't increase my pred, instead I took Cocodamol- plenty of them as advised on posts on here. So big thanks for that. We didn't discuss PMR with my daughter only to say I have changed from Calceos to Calcichew so now I drink and eat anything anytime so less problems for me. (Last time we were there Calceos and Lanzoprazole were taken at wrong times as meals changed at last minute). But she said she had forgotten what I had. When I reminded her she made it clear she wasn't interested.
Having said all that we really enjoyed being with our wonderful grandchildren and had lots of hugs, and worth recovering for next few days.
Written by
Marlenec
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Morning, I'm glad you enjoyed the weekend with your grandchildren & that you coped OK.
Don't worry about the Calcium Tablet if you had to miss it for one day & as long as you take your Lansoprozole before your meal you should be fine.
As for your daughter, words fail me! Take it easy now for the next few days, relax & makes plans for something for you & your husband to do together soon.
Thank you Mrs Nails for your good wishes and good advice as always. Yes we are planning a few days away soon - nice hotel and gentle walks around pretty villages, will be perfect.
Well done for getting through and achieving quality time with your granddaughters. It's a puzzle that mother and daughter relationships can be so fraught. The media seems to blame mums, so do movies and books.I tread so carefully these days but often fall down a rabbit hole. I've gone on the Internet for advice on managing the relationship and there is loads of advice for daughters of difficult mums but none the other way round. Having said that,they always turn to me in a crisis, and I'm always there for them. Just not allowed my own crisis it seems. Our generation probably spoiled our children as a reaction to the way we were brought up.
I do find that if I back off they tend to come towards me - easier said than done.💐
I know what you mean about treading carefully, it's like walking on eggshells while we are there. She very easily snaps if she disagrees with us, especially with my husband, as I rarely voice my opinion. We dare not back off as we only email/text about 1 per month to ask how they all are, she does usually reply but rarely instigates, and we were told a few years ago not to ring as its usually inconvenient. We see holiday photos on facebook when she includes us, so that's lovely, and we always reply. Hubby keeps telling me that she has always preferred friends to family. She is our only child and has alway said she should have had siblings, but it just didn't happen, then I had a hysterectomy. I took Kate's book with me, hoping she might say something to dip into and saw her notice it but nothing said.
It's perfect that you are going away for a gentle break with your hubby. If I tear my attention away from children and grandchildren for a moment and notice that I have a lovely husband who always bats for my team, I feel pretty fortunate. Forget parental duties and have some really selfish fun.
I have to say - she sounds rather selfish and ungrateful. And not your fault I'd say. She obviously thinks you let her down by not having more children without stopping to wonder about the practicalities and how you felt about it. My SIL was much the same about her biological mother without ever stopping to consider that in the late 1940s it wasn't easy for a single mother with (I suspect) a GI baby and she had a wonderful childhood as a result of being adopted instead of near starvation. But they were working class people - and she resented that.
One day it may sink in - in the meantime, keep in touch with your grandchildren if they are old enough. I can contact my granddaughter via Facebook - her brother is a bit more difficult as he lives with his father but hey ho...
Yes you hit a nerve with "working class" as that is what we are. We both worked for a bank but did not rise very far as I always worked part-time to fit in with school. When my husband was made redundant he took the first job so was not out of work, which was police parking - sorry cannot remember exact and we were told never to tell her friends what he did. My relatives and friends cannot understand why she behaves like this and all say she's grown too big for her boots!
I'm working class originally - and one of the things I hate is now being what is described as "middle class". My MIL was thoroughly "middle class" and really looked down on me for a long time. I lived in Durham for a while - what a strange place! The ordinary locals who had left the mines when MrsT destroyed them were the salt of the earth, wonderful people. Lots of the rest? Far above themselves. Or as one lady in the NE PMRGCA group would say "all fur coat and no knickers". When push comes to shove we are all the same under our clothes - as she may find out one day.
Working class reminds me of a TV show with John Prescott going round talking to people around the country. He said to one girl that she was working class. Her reply was "I am not working class, I don't work!!"
Notice I get my posts about a day after everyone else but not too late to say - well done for getting through the weekend, for persevering and keeping the lines of communication open and being able to spend quality time with your grandchildren. Your daughter unfortunately may never change but that doesn't have to affect your relationship with the grandchildren, which is important. Relax now as everyone says and have some "me" time xx
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