Log in
Penny Brohn UK
1,439 members275 posts


Hi all,

I feel a bit of a fraud writing to you all about my woes when so many of you are so extremely brave and upbeat, having gone through such awful times.

I lost my Dad in 2014 to melanoma and his death was very quick and very traumatic. I still struggle with flashbacks and feel extreme anger at the lack of care he received during his illness. We had no support as a family, the district nurse came to my house once and never again. Macmilllan unfortunately also let us down in terms of support. We as a family felt like we were just left to deal with the most stressful, scary and emotionally draining time of our lives with nobody to help or rely on.

My mum has now had issues with her appendix and has subsequently been referred for a colonoscopy. I saw this on her discharge sheet when she left hospital, the Dr's never explained that she needed one or the reason. Fast forward 6 weeks and she has had the colonoscopy but scar tissue meant it couldn't be carried out, She was told whilst under sedation that she has a low blood count and had she been told this before? This was the first we knew.

She has now been referred for an urgent CT and I am going out of my mind with worry. I am so scared that I may lose my mum too and that if it is anything untoward, that I won't be able to cope and be there for her. I don't know how best to deal with any of this.

Everyone keeps telling me there is nothing to worry about yet, I know they are right, but I haven't even gotten over the trauma of my Dad passing away.

It all feels too much. Mum isn't having her scan for a week and a half and already it feels like a lifetime away. Then we have to wait for the results.

I had terrible insomnia when Dad was ill and that has already returned.

Any advice?

Thanks x

5 Replies

You are on a painful journey.....no good saying don't worry.....but I will say trust the process. It's surprising just how much we can take ....you are a good daughter ......sending you lots of positive healing. Keep in touch. It's amazing how helpful it is to share our fears.


Jean xxx


Thank you Jean I really appreciate your reply. Mum has got an appointment now to see the consultant in June, unfortunately it's the same hospital that my Dad spent a lot of time at and it was always bad news every time we went there.

Trying to stay positive.

Much love x

1 like

Thank you Graham my thoughts are with you x

1 like

Hi Suey,

I would like to say that I am actually going through a similiar process at this moment in time. The nauseous feeling of not knowing when loss of a family meb=mber might happen. Like others have said, I will not say it will all be fine, nothing comes easy but I will say is that if you truly hope and believe everything will go your way. Its gong to be hard. You have experienced the worst pain in your life. You'll think there is no one that has it like you. You will cry, get angry, anxious, lose hope and regain it. But you will get out of this. It gets better. It may take a day, week, month or even a year. But it will always get better. You have to go through the rain to get to the sunshine..

Good Luck,

Love Ellie

1 like

Ellie.. thank you for your lovely words they mean a lot. I hope we both find a way through difficult times.

I will be thinking of you x