Happy but Sad

Hi Everyone

I have been reading everybody's posts and thought I would join in

I was diagnosed with Breast cancer 6yrs ago

I had a lumpectomy and 18 rounds of Radiotherapy, Tamoxifen .18 months later on my 6 month check another lump was found in the other Breast .

I then had a Masectomy another 18 rounds of Radiotheraphy then Chemotherapy followed by Hereceptin.

I used the cold-cap whist having Chemo plus a home made ice cap and happy to say my hair stayed put 😊

I then opted to have reconstruction and decided to have. The other breast removed, to limit the risk of occurrence plus a matching pair !

I have had nipple reconstruction and tattoos and I must say the finished effect is amazing

I then lost my beloved soul mate Gypsy my dog who had helped me through this and never left my side I. Promised her long happy walks when I was well enough and I let her down

I should be proud and happy getting through all that but I feel so sad.

Anyway anybody who need any advice or help I am hear if needed

Cheryl

12 Replies

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  • I just want to say that I partly understand your experience, as I am also very much a dog lover. During my surgery, recovery and chemotherapy, my three dogs stayed with a number of people, missed out on walks and attention (when I was too ill). Because I am now living with my daughter in a rented house, they have not been able to sleep on my bed for almost a year and I think we all miss those hours of closeness.

    But on the other hand, I also think that negative emotions and states of mind are very counter-productive when it comes to healing. So instead of focusing on what I have been unable to do, I focus on the good aspects of their lives. They are still safe, fed, clean, groomed, loved, cared for etc...

    Dogs are very aware and I am sure that Gypsy knew you were unwell and understood that you could not always do what you wanted to. You provided Gypsy with the best possible cure UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES and I am sure that s/he had a very happy life and knew that s/he was loved, whether the walks materialised or not.

  • Thank you xxx

  • Please don't feel sad, you have done so well, I am sorry about Gypsy but perhaps you can celebrate her life & her help. I know the emptiness of a house without a dog, could you foster one on a temporary basis - then perhaps think about a new pet - none will ever replace Gypsy but you could make a dog

    happy on a temporary basis. I send you a big virtual hug Mo Foster

  • Thank you for your reply x I have been and got another dog of the same breed she has has a unhappy life so far ...just bred and bred so I feel better knowing she is having a better life .

    It was the same week I had reconstruction surgery that Gypsy took ill the vets did all kinds of test but couldn't find the reason for her illness they opened her up to investigate and decided to do a hysterectomy thinking that was the problem but it wasn't she then never recovered she was howling in pain so I thought I was doing the best thing and agreed to let her go.

    I now feel I should of got a second opinion and I should of helped her as she helped me.

    But after my surgery I knew what bad pain felt like and couldn't let her carry on feeling pain like that.

    I m sorry to harp on like this as many of you are thinking oh she was just a Dog , but this on top of 6yrs of fighting this damn disease feels horrendous.

    Feel bit better for putting it into words

    Thankyou and sending strength to you all xxxx

  • They are never just a dog, my best friend is a two year old Yorkshire Terrier i call big dog )he's dogs trust rescue dog, real name Simon). He's the reason i get out of bed and make the effort to make sure he's okay and looked after, taking him for short walks helps too, i just wish i had his energy and enthusiasm.

  • Thanks for your reply I agree about our dogs being the reason for getting out of bed I couldn't live without one . I now have Cleo she is not as affectionate as Gypsy was but she listens to my problems and has the occasional snuggle xxx

  • Dear Cheryl, just wanted to send all good wishes to you and also to remind you that you can always call our Helpline on 0845 123 2310 here at Penny Brohn Cancer Care where volunteers can be a listening ear and guide you on using our services if that's something that you would like.

    We do hope you are able to access extra support at this time.

  • Hi I would like to come on one of your courses please .How do I go about this?

  • Hi Cheryl, sorry not to get back sooner I have been on annual leave. The best place to start is to call Bookings on 01275 370 111 and they will recommend a course for you and help you book. If you are local, the Introduction course is a good place to start, or if you are coming from further away, the Living Well with the Impact of Cancer course (a two day residential) may be better for you.

    I do hope you are able to attend soon,

    with very best wishes

    Sophie

  • Hello Cheryl

    your dog still walks with you.....you did not let her down she understood.

    Hang onto your healing process - sounds like you have had a bit of a journey.

    I'm pleased that you are happy with your progress,long may it continue.

    Like you I read the posts and when I feel able I comment. I think just knowing that someone is reading your concerns,worries, it all helps.

    Lots of love to you

    Jean

    xxx

  • Thankyou xxx

  • Hello Lovmydogs

    You have got some good replies and great advice.

    We are a group that supports everyone, sometimes we find some one that we can identify with.

    Like you I have gone through Breast cancer didn't have reconstruction, I didn't want it.

    Cancer used to be feared ( still is ) but I have just done the hat trick..... Womb , breast and now lung.......I am sorry you lost Gypsy, but she is still in your heart. ( I am a cat lady )

    This is my first post for quite a while, getting over the lung Cancer....I don't let it get me down, positive thinking.......

    I know its been a while since you first posted but hey !!!

    Best Wishes Sheila aka etch45 xx

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