Pelvic Tension Myalgia

I am a man who has suffered with pelvic tension myalgia for 2 years now. The first time I had the symptoms, my pain was a 9 out of 10, couldn't defecate without laxatives, peed every 5 minutes during the day and at night, ibs symptoms really bad, so I couldn't stomach anything with any kind of calories that also helped with my severe constipation, and couldn't sit down at all without extreme pain. I became anorexic. Fast forward to 1.3 years later and my wife left me, I tried to take my own life because the pain was just too much. I lost everything of any value to me, my wife, my son, my 3 pets, and her family who I was very close to as well. During these 1.3 years, I went to multiple specialists and had numerous expensive tests done, 3 trips to the emergency room, saw a psychiatrist, and went to a physiotherapist and still couldn't get any better. Finally about 4 months ago, all of the sudden, I got better and had no symptoms. I don't know if it was the extreme amount of walking I did and resting, but got better. I was ecstatic and thought I had beaten this thing. Well that is what chronic pain wants you to think. It wants to lift you up to only bring you back down again, like some kind of mad monster. Pain is a way of telling you something is wrong and can be a good thing, unless you have chronic pain. From what I can tell, chronic pain only serves one purpose. It is to destroy you as a person inside and out. I try to be a person with a good sense of humor most of the time, but it is becoming increasingly more difficult with this condition. Doctors want to say it's because you are depressed. No. I am depressed because of this condition. I used to be an athlete before this too. Now, all I can do is walk and try to rest and stretch. I can't sit for too long anywhere or extreme pain and I pay the price later. No one believes you are sick because there is not visible injury and some days you have less pain and some days you have more pain. I have friends and family who think I'm exaggerating everything. Hell, doctors think you are exaggerating everything. I can't take a lot of pain medication because they give me extreme constipation that just makes the pain cycle worse. This is truly a condition from hell. I have tried tumeric and can't afford acupuncture or massages every week. I am at the medical community's mercy and they are in the dark too with this condition. It is saddening to think productive people in society will become unproductive because of this horrible curse called pelvic dysfunction. I hope and pray everyone receives a cure for Christmas, but I just don't know if anyone cares enough about our cause to fund it and find it, so we continue to suffer.

20 Replies

  • Thank you so much for sharing, I'm actually here because of my son who seem to be going through most of the symptoms you mentioned and no one seem to be able to help him, hospitalised twice in the last 9 months, once 3 days after he started a new job and the 2nd was after a job interview, I'm not sure how much stress have to do with it, but the emotional impact you mentioned is just too much as like you he was athletic and now walking is all he does.

  • I am very sorry to hear about your son having to go through this too. He is not alone in his challenges and I will pray that the medical community one day finds a cure for all of us. This condition is extremely tasking mentally, psychologically, and physically and is so misunderstood by the public. They think because you look fine, you must be fine. We all need to let our voices be heard about this life consuming condition.

  • I can relate to most of what you said. I too have had chronic pelvic pain for several years. Started slowly in my teens and really peaked in my twenties and now is unbearable in my 30's. I have IBS w/ severe constipation as well. I have been told by several dr.'s that they don't know what else to try because nothing seems to work. I take Tramadol on Saturday's only. If I take it more then the constipation is unbearable but I need at least one day a week to not feel absolutely horrible. It doesn't take the pain away but dulls it enough to allow me time to enjoy my children and a date with my husband. I have really tried to look at this as a refining process. You said: 'It is to destroy you as a person inside and out'. I know this sounds really hard but try and look at it from what you can learn and become through this extreme trial. That may not work if you don't have a belief and faith in a loving God but my faith is about the only thing that is allowing me to move forward and not be deeply, deeply depressed. I used to cry and feel deeply upset and depressed at every moment at how my life has changed. I too was a really active person and now have trouble walking around my block or playing with my kids at the park, but I also have way more love and compassion for people in pain. I appreciate small things that I never would have noticed before. Obviously, I would choose to take the pain away in a heartbeat but I can't and therefore must learn how to cope with my new circumstances. If you do or have ever had faith in a higher power I encourage you to get on your knees and ask for help in coping with this horrible trial in your life. I promise you will gain a measure of peace if you are sincere in your efforts.

  • I am trying my best to keep my faith strong, but it feels like my whole world has collapsed around me most days. I am so alone and can't get out to socialize because of this hideous condition. I used to make it a mission to try to build up others around me. I used to have a family I still love very much to come home to every day. This horrendous condition has stole my life away from me in more ways than one. I have to come home to an empty house now and suffer in silence. When I have a bad pain day, I have no one to care for me anymore. I wanted to get a cat or a dog for company, but it wouldn't be fair to them. What if I lose my job too? I would be out on the streets and have to do the same to my furry pal. Chronic pain is too much to fight on your own. It isolates and destroys the very nature of who you are or even were, especially when the medical community, friends, and family abandon us. I'm barely midway through my life and yet I feel like I'm 150 years old. Thank you for your compassionate words and thoughts! I do appreciate them a great deal. I am trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is just proving to be a very difficult journey.

  • I will pray for everyone tonight.

  • I will pray too.

  • I have had this condition off and on for almost 30 years. I have learned that decreasing my psychological tension can help for long periods of time, but there are times the attacks seem to come from nowhere. I agree, the depression seems to be a result of the pain, not the cause. Tranquilizers, including rectal valium have helped some, but at other times they have done nothing. The only thing I can tell you is that I have had times of up to ten years that I have beaten it, and exercise, relaxation techniques, internal muscle massage, and self-reassurance have helped me survive. Doctors are trying, but they spent decades thinking it was all in the prostate, and when they found out it wasn't they had a lot of catching up to do. Don't even get me started on insurance companies!

  • I hear you on the insurance companies. What device do you use for the internal muscle massages and what is the easiest way to do it, like positioning, etc? I got a theracane to try to do external trigger point work as detailed in " A Headache in the Pelvis."

  • Often I do the internal trigger point work with just my finger. I do it while lying on my side at night in the bathtub. I bought a plastic device that my then-physical therapist recommended. It helps sometimes but can make things worse if I press a little too hard. I don't remember the brand name. I know for me that the pain is at least in part a stress response. If I have a stress like family conflict or a large bill I need to pay, I can feel it start to hurt. My pain is on the left side of the groin and going around to near the anus.

  • My urologist said he removed prostate due to cancer of a patient who also had CPPS/prostatitis....and the pain didn't resolve a bit. Should be as obvious to doctors that if woman suffer same malady, it's probably more than prostatitis:))

  • Where are your most painful symptoms? Mine seems to be rectal pain. Pelvic floor muscles. I have suffered for about 4 years now with many ups and downs.

    I use a pelvic floor wand which helps somewhat but doesn't cure the problem.

  • What kind of Pelvic floor wand do you use? My most painful area is the groin and abdomen area on the left side. I also had rectal pain when it was at it's worst. In addition to the pain, I also suffered from incomplete evacuation, which was almost worse than the pain sometimes.

  • Thera wand. Male version. If you google it, it should direct you to the website.

  • Thank you :-) I will check it out. Have a great day!

  • My pain is in the pelvic floor, only on the left side. That may be the case because I had hernia surgery on my right side as a teenager and I think the surgery may have deadened the nerves somewhat. Stress is definitely a trigger. I had stressful jobs over the years/ Of course, now that I am retired, it is worse, because I worry more about money. It's really hard to win with this thing. I was a co-owner of a business for 15 years with great partners, and in that whole time, I may have had 3 very mild bouts of the pain. I seriously considered buying a hot tub, because that always helped.

  • I also had a left inguinal hernia repair around 10 years ago and I wonder if that might have caused my pelvic floor problems too. Thank you and a great day!

  • Hi All, I suffer from Pelvic pain for 3 years now. Similar situation as you all but I have a super supportive family and a great partner to keep me sane. Following are the two things that seem to help:

    1. Chea Seeds for constipation.

    2. Nurogena ointment for pain. It's a Homeopathy creame for severe pain. It's available at Walgreen's at a discount.

    I have trouble sleeping and often get into catastrophic thinking. It's hard. I'm also losing hair due to the cortisone injections I've been giving. My faith is beat.

    Stay strong as much as u can. You're in my prayers.

  • For all those suffering with chronic pelvic pain I would like to share with you something that I came across the other day and may be something you should look into if you have tight pelvic muscles, muscle imbalance of the pelvic floor or pelvic, hip muscle dysfunction causing pain. Please google 'Biomechanical Assessment 'other key words Biomechanical specialist and your town, city, to see if there is a specialist near you, tight muscles of the pelvis, hip, back, in fact any where in the body. Apparently when you have a chronic condition effecting the muscles, muscles have become so tight and dysfunctional pressing on the nerves causing chronic pain. In this article that I read you have a special test by a biomechanical specialist to assess the muscles and then a series of exercises to stretch each of the effected muscles. Like you say, when you went walking you had some improvement for a while. It seems that stretching under the guidance of especially trained therapists will eventually stretch the muscles and eventually get them functioning again, reducing the pain. If everything else has failed it is worth looking into this if it could improve your quality of life.

  • Thank you for sharing! I will take a look at it. :-)

  • Hello! 

    Please see physiotherapists for these issues! And don't go to the "normal" physios, that is a waste of time as they do not know about the pelvis. 

    Check out: 


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