The Weeping

The Weeping

My beautiful daughter just called to talk about her day and I had to ask her if I could call her back later because her mother, my wife, was in the other room weeping, again.

Every time that I come to this site I am overwhelmed by the sadness this disease has caused so many people. I read the words of strangers whose only connection with one another is this dreaded nuisance. My wife and I have still another talk about what has happened to me, to us as mates.

I tell my friend, my wife, who I love so much, I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.

People talk about The Meds. What med can heal The Weeping?

People talk about The Cure. How can anyone cure The Weeping?

People talk about the this and that and all I can think about is The Weeping.

I try to think of a way to stop The Weeping but I can't.

My wife goes to The Door. To work. To take another try at being happy.

I am here, with That Thing on My Back. I go to The Computer. I put on The Mask.

And then I weep again.

17 Replies

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  • Cheer up Bud, life is not that bad , is just a shit hand we have been delt,

    Try this pice of british humor to cheer you up.

    go on to youtube and search for,FASCINTING AIDA, its 3 posh birds and they are so funny

    regards

    Al

  • Thank you for the input. Maybe The Weeping Thing comes with The Diagnosis but it also comes from living in a time when there are so many dramas going on around us. Us Humans are more fragile than we are depicted in The Media. We've set aside Thursdays as our Weeping Day.

  • Hi, The wife of a PD friend had the same problem. She could not accept his diagosis. She crashed and needed treatment for A SEVERE depression. That was several years ago. Now she is our representive for NOK and relationship frågor about PD. Maybe your wife and yourself need to sit and talk to someone/a pair about PD. Man can learn a lot from the internet but it's not the same as talking to someone who knows. One thing I will stress to you, you never need to apoligize to anyone about your having PD, it is not your fault, it happened. Willing to talk to you if you want to chat.

  • Sorry to hear about The Weeping. My husband appears to deal with things by pretending they don't exist and I try do this myself, which is easier on a good day. There is always hope of new treatments and we have to cling to that. If we don't have hope, what have we got. Miracles do happen and I have learned to take one day at a time' which is just as well as no two days are the same. Hang in there both of you. It is harder for the carer.

  • Joalt

    You have expressed grief so beautifully. And weeping is an expression of grief and grief passes. It is when it stays for too long or does not leave we need help. There is as well, a danger in too much grieving alone, without sharing as a couple. The idea of a weeping day is brilliant - would like to hear how it goes sometime.

    There is good advice from others here.

    Best wishes

  • I found myself almost weeping when I read your post - there has been a lot of weeping in our house too. But you have to move on! And soon! Everywhere you look, you will find someone worse off - really!

    When my husband was diagnosed with PD at age 50 I can best describe it that I could not breath for months. But somehow I started again, and so did he.

    We both joined the gym and got a personal trainer to help combat the depression that accompanies this terrible disease. We started a fundraiser for PD and began to support research - to help the 5 to 6 million people who share this burden,

    In August my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia and Alzheimer's disease and once again I found myself not being able to breathe. When I awoke in the morning tears would stream down my cheeks even before I was fully awake. I finally joined in the fight against ALZ and surrounded myself with others fighting the same battle. I often think how could I be faced with two brain disorders in the two people I love most!

    Get a trainer - work out as if there is no tomorrow - it is the one thing that you can control and it will improve your condition!

    Prayers coming your way!

  • I go to the gym, because it IS important, and I do see a therapist, who I suspect does weeping of her own for all of the same reasons.

  • Parkersclimb,

    You are right! Surrounding yourself with people in the same situation is helpful and learn to laugh at yourself. That has helped me a great deal!

  • Discussing depression with your doctor is important. My husband needed the meds to help him, in so doing, the change in his demeanor greatly affected my outlook on the situation. I now plan outings and trips with the alternate plan that I might have to go it alone or take a friend or relative, so far he has made every major trip and has only made me weep once. We enjoy each other's company and try to laugh as often as possible with inside Parkie jokes. I give my husband plenty of time to prepare for these outings and ask our children to look in on him if he decides to stay home. The grandchildren are the greatest anti-depressants.

  • Thank every one of you for your kind comments. The reason I come to this site is to share my feelings with people who understand all of the emotions that come with this thing we call Parkinson's Disease. Parkinson's is a sad thing, however, we are also living in a sad time in our history. There are events occuring around the world that need to be addressed. My wife and I are sensitive to the importance of ALL of us "getting along". Some of the weeping that happens between us is because we care about all of us as inhabitants of our planet. When i say that I am sorry it's because I care.

    My wife came home and we embraced. We will always be friends. I love her.

  • Thank you so much for sharing about the weeping! I was diagnosed in July 2010 - I find sometimes I just weep for no reason - just now as I read your comment. No one in our group has mentioned this and I felt sort of alone. I do love life and I go to swim aerobics and yoga - I also attend a PD support group and see a counselor. Hang on tight - that is what I say to myself & you too! I do love life and I am going to fight - ha Please know you are helping lots of people by sharing. ( :

  • Thank you. I was diagnosed at about the same time as you. It has been a bumpy ride, but I feel better emotionally since I discovered this blogging site. Now I can interact with people who share the same feelings.

  • Park,

    Great advise! I also experience depression & mood swings. It's strange when they come on for no reason! I've been known to just cry & cry for no specific reason! But, I always thank God for my blessings!

  • ME TOO!!!!!

  • I had a lot of problems with weeping until my meds were changed.

    Now my eyes tear up easy when someone shares something that is sad or hurtful, I hope that makes me a more sensitive person.

  • I am 56 yrs old and was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease on Dec 1st. I'm a "newbie" and frankly, I am so scared. The weeping began in the dr.'s office as he was giving me this diagnosis. The floodgates opened and my tears flowed for days. Then suddenly I stopped crying. I told myself that I can't allow myself to dwell on what might happen in the future with the PD because I have no control over this. I'm going to live each day to the fullest and enjoy the moment. I had to grieve to get to this point. I'm not so naive to think that the tears are behind me. I know that I am on the edge and each day is fragile; but I'm doing okay. I'm going to be alright.

  • It has been nearly a month since I wrote The Weeping posting. I remember that day. My wife and I have had a few bad mornings. Judging from what I read on this blogging site I think that we all have weeping days. PD brings out the drama in us. I made a Resolution to reach out to our community in an effort to sooth the pain . I hope that the new year brings happiness to every one.

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