I don't know why I write these blogs. I guess it more of a therapy for me to vent my feelings. Parkinson's, I hate that word. I read a lot of hopes for cure, great attitudes and I don't want to bring any one down ..So if you don't want to read a non-positive blog don"t read this. I am here to tell you there is a dark side to pd, that will suck you in if you are not careful. my feeling is my Pd came from the gulf war. I was station at Kuiwait airport with oil wells burning maybe 200 yards away breathing in oil fumes for months..I got out of the marines in 1992 got married bought a new houses new job at the county sheriffs office. I had everything planned out until about year 2000, I was officially told I had Parkinson was around . I was 30, I kind of knew it was coming . I plugged my symptoms to the web every which way and all that would come up was Parkinson. So after seeing every Arabic doctors in my area who keep saying 'no no your to young'. I guess they skip the class of signs and symptoms or didn't buy computer. I was finally diagnosed about 300 miles away at Shans Hospital in Gainesville FL.. It took the doctor there a whole 5 mins of looking at my mri to come to that conclusion. Well I was put on sinemet which at first is great. but by 2004 I was taking that, mirapex which gave hallucination and a hand full of other drugs. I d pass out in a sec at times. I was in a deep deep depression I had a spending addiction sex addiction an anxiety through the roof.. After all I was 35 I thought my life was cut in half I was hoping I would just die in 2005 things got worse I had to retire from a 80,000 year job . I rose through the ranks quickly. which by now it would probably be 100,000 and a huge retirement just waiting until I turned 55. Was cut down to 1500 a month I lost my home got divorced lost everything I owned. 2007 thing got worse my social security was taken away when they did in invest on me and because I wasn't wiggling around like Mr fox, The smart investigators in the fl social security system say my condition has improved. No I was just taking more and more sinemet to make it through the day.PD does'nt improve. just look in the dictionary. I guess they didn't believe the dictionary version of pd. I tried for military benefits and I guess since I was diagnosed in 2000 the military believe I woke up on day in 2000 and just had pd. I'll leave you on this cliff hanger for now it almost midnight here but things get better. i sorry if i offended anyone. Maybe, I just need to vent sometimes. There is a dark side to pd and if your aware of it you can avoid it.