Keeping it simple

Nowadays any kind of complexity sends me in a spin, and it doesn't take much. Take the dishwasher, my kitchen monster. I open it, and stare at the contents, knives, plates, dishes, pans, a whisk, a wooden spoon ... I sigh, where does it all go. Looking around my kitchen. all those cupboards and homes for things. I look back at the dishwasher and it overwhelms me. I shut it. If we washed only cups, I could cope, one cupboard, one shelf. Simple.

Then I turn to my to do list, it is rammed. I don't miss deadlines, but my 'to do' list stays in my head. If I attempt to write it down I would implode. Did I really commit to so much? do I really have to do all that this week, and how will I get through today?! I would curl up under the duvet if I faced it in its entirety. So I keep it floating in my head and hope that I keep enough wits about me to avoid failure. I only pull forward one thing at once, do it, 'cross it off' and then pull the next activity forward. Simple has to be my operating code.

I am finding more and more that busyness also stops me functioning such as a supermarket aisle filled with stuff I go 'product blind'. I see everything but can focus on nothing. A clothes shop, my favourite, I will select something, then another, then another put back the first, select 3 more, swap the second for a different colour, put back the last, pick up the first again..... and then buy nothing! Exhausting? yes it is.

What is most frustrating about all of this is ..... I never used to be like it. I was always clear, direct, decisive. To be reduced to a quivering jelly by the thought of a dishwasher would seem preposterous to the old me. The new me accepts it albeit with some reflective sadness, and ultimately I have to smile, who wants to be clearing up pots anyway!



13 Replies

  • Yes I am with you on this ,I am allergic to housework it's about the only allergy that does not bother me !!!!!

  • I used to be able to sail through life doing whatever I needed to do.

    Got on with it and got all tasks completed.

    Now it is very different, faced with one task I can do it. But often my brain is fogged up with so many things I need or want to do. Yet the only thing is to keep busy until exhaustion stops me.

    When I was fit I could get all the tasks done as I wanted, now I have to think about them for such a long time before even starting one.

    At one time life was organised now it is so disorganised it becomes disparity at times

    but we still get things done eventually.

    I often wonder is it the PD or the treatment?

  • I could not have said it any better. Everything is a chore for me. I waste a lot of time doing absolutely nothing. I make a list of things I want to accomplish during the day. I really only write down 3 - 4 things. Then I look over my list and have to force myself to do something because whatever I decide to do seems monumental.

  • Thank you for posting so clearly what many of us are experiencing. Yes, it all becomes overwhelming in short order sometimes.

  • Oh Coleen, you must learn to say no sometimes, just occasionally - give yourself a break..

  • Oh I say no a lot just less than yes! And what you need to appreciate is i fill every space with something. Always have! So if I create one.... It fills instantly. !!!

  • Emptying the dishwasher is one thing I can do. Make the bed? maybe. To do list? No, but to do piles all over the house. I had a new cleaning lady that took me literally when I said clean around the piles. My favorite cleaning lady, if I leave a lot of clutter, makes a new pile for me! Oh well. There's a recycle fair coming up and a lot of stuff will go there. Shopping, I can go to the store for 2 things, 3 most. I shop for groceries online and it's painful. I used to be good, zip up and down the aisles, calculating how to make 7 days worth of meals for the least money! Now I end up with a weird lot of good stuff, e.g., a case of organic cider with a week's expiration date. Everyone who visited went home with a bottle of cider. :D

  • I do keep a paper calendar. Have to if I'm going to order AccessARide!

  • Although I check this site daily, I frequently find it diffi

  • I agree everything is so hard and complicated. Things that use to be so easy are a challenge for me.

  • Depending on the day, hubby can have trouble trying to buckle his belt. He will have the prong in the hole and not know what to do next. I rarely schedule more than one thing a day for him as he gets exhausted easily. He can function very well one minute and an hour later cannot do the same task. It is frustrating for both of us. Don't know what to tell you but we will be discussing this at his next appointment.

  • THe only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house. THe dishwasher is a monster!

    I have chipped or broken pieces off many items I attempt to put into the machine. What used to be a simple task in now a challenge. Handles off serving bowls and chipped plates and coffe cups have now become part of my decore. I hear you. BUT then they are just things and the flowers are blooming in the garden. What once was very important has lessened in value since PD came into my life.

  • Oh my, sometimes if we didn't laugh at ourselves we'd cry. I got our mail in ballots all mixed up, 3 voters, 3 piles of ballot info - it turned into a kind of a shell game. How in the world could I mix something so simple all up!? And I jokingly call myself a "walking path of destruction" with all the things I break. I just have a chuckle at myself, toss it out, and move on!

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