"Struggling"

I wish I could get my head

around the words

that are swirling there

in front of my eyes

pulling them together

making them solid

I am so easily distracted

as if I have lost

everything that once

flowed so easily

from my pen

Now anxiety grips

at my heart

chocking my feelings

confusing my soul

keeping my body

in a constant

state of damage

It is a struggle now

just to breathe

and crying

which use to be

forbidden

flows without consent,

randomly streaking my face

with emotions

I'd rather not expose

Every word I write

feels as though

it is being

ripped from my body

I look over my shoulder

waiting for

the hammer to fall

for my mind to

go blank once more

and all my words

filled with meaning

to fall

into unconsciousness

My body trembles

one last time

as these final words

greet the paper

Jupiterjane

3 Replies

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  • Sounds like a nightmare, but you are so talented, take care

  • I'm struggling with my words right now too. Seems like it should be no big deal--but my words are my everything--they're me. Without them who can I be? Not me.

    Hang in there my soul friend. Please.

  • My hands

    want to work as time goes by

    My eyes want to see not watch you cry

    My body wants to dance not shiver and shake

    My mind wants to soar, not gripe and ache

    I'm tired of the fight but I can't give up

    I've got too much loving in my loving cup

    Please feel free to stop me now

    Because I feel like a stupid cow

    I wish I had words like fairy dust

    to sprinkle on you and help you trust

    that time heals all wounds, as you know it must

    But life isn't fair, it's not simple nor just

    my words are air that my lungs have pushed

    I feel lonely, lost and blue

    I hurt all day how about you?

    My Soul, my Soul

    wandering off the path

    and wonders will I ever be happy again

    I'd settle for pain-free... or at least let me have my wordsworth...

    Good luck and better days to all of us

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