Scared like a baby

On Tuesday I meet my neurologist. Last time was in August. I know the special feeling returns to me when I ride the elevator to the eighth floor, where medical staff have their offices. The same feeling every time. The P has ben a little bit worse all the time. I have to hold up my arms and he will look at how much I shake, walk up and down the corridor to see how much P-movement I have. I like my doctor and get good help from him but this feeling of being sick makes me helpless. When I stand there in the elevator going up to the eighth floor I'm the most lonely man in the world and I feel scared like a baby even though I know I should not be. It´s like living with a bomb inside my body.

Mr Day

9 Replies

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  • I have to take one day (or even one moment) at a time to have a life. :(

  • I hate the corridor walk! Vulnerable. Scared. Ashamed. Betrayed by my own body.

    Good wishes for you on Tuesday,

    Chris

  • good luck for tuesday, just know you are not alone, we are all in the same boat. im very lucky i have mild symptons but i have only been ds since jan, everytime i have an ache or pain i think is this it getting worse, i fell a few weeks back, was it pd or just the fact the ground was wet and i was on a slope or because i was in high heels, before jan these thoughts would never have entered my head, im 47 too young to give in and wear flat shoes (plus im only 5ft ) i try not to let pd get me down but im only human and the why me kicks in.one comment i remember from this site the day i found it was... i have parkinsons it DOES NOT HAVE ME... its a learning curve and im still taking advise from everyone to fight this,,, so on tuesday chin up and find the positve however small,

    diane

  • Life is not the way it's supposed to be.. It's the way it is..

    The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference. good luck for tuesday xx

  • This is probably the most profound statement I have read on this site.

  • I LOVE this statement. Will try to remember it each time I get a little down or scared. Thanks for sharing.

  • I know what you mean. it is scary-my husband is the one with PD. He never lets me know what he is thinking. He face is hard to read. . but I do know the first visit to the DR. I did see a look on his face that was lost and he kept looking at me. I will always remember that look. He is also in partial remission for Lymphoma and the trip to the DR and waiting for the blood test results is a scary time too. 47 is too young too young-- Lord knows what is around the corner to improve your life. My hubby is 83 - we're married 53 yrs. He had never been ill until 2 years ago. Thank you for sharing your experience. God B;ess

  • Thanks for your support. Today it was time for me to face my P-Dr. Same old story, the corridor back and forth. I asked a question about what he regards as being the main track in the P research. He then told about a study on gene therapy which he saw as a very interesting track. It was the first time he responded to this question from me and I have asked him every time we met. Maybe a light in the sky. After an intense day anyways not much more. I want to once again thank you for your support, it means very much to me.

    Mr. day

  • Glad the appointment is in the past and hopefully your anxiety too!

    Happy Wednesday!

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