Determination

I do not,

Cannot,

Hide

my feelings.

Good thoughts,

Bad thoughts,

Controversial

thoughts that

Bring concern

Cannot stop

Me from

Putting down

On paper

Everything

My heart

And soul

Experience

In any given day.

I am afraid,

Afraid of my

Future,

Of what the

Next hour,

Next day,

next month,

May bring.

This morning

When I woke

I found it

Difficult

To stand,

Making several

Attempts with

My cane and

The bed post

for support,

I finally stood.

I wanted to cheer

But then the

Realization that

I now needed

To walk

Brought the tears.

I will not call for

Help.

Knowing that Robert

Is just a room away

I waited for the

Shaking to stop

And the tears

To dry up

Before commanding

My legs to walk,

And when they moved

Without a second

Command I knew

Today may be a better

Day than I thought.

And so with each

measured step

I made it down

The hallway

And into a

New day,

The fear still there,

but now hidden Behind

Determined eyes

Jupiterjane

4 Replies

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  • I wish I could put feelings on paper. It is almost impossible for me to be able to do that!

    This week I have just begun to feel how week my right side is becoming (formally my strong, unaffected side), almost weaker than my left.

    I now have a better understanding about the balance problem, not have a strong side to balance the other side.

    At times, it is difficult to write. Don't like being headed in this direction. :(

  • Thanks for your words and your determined eyes.

  • Thanks for these words. They have helped me to try to stay positive as I certainly don't feel like this today. Obviously not going to be one of my better days, at least mentally.

  • I guess we all have good days and bad days. It sometimes feels as though there are more bad days than good.

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