My Thief

I

Thief

Coward

I hate

hate

hate you

I never asked to know you

Never invited you

yet you forced yourself

on me

and you refuse to go away

Unwelcome enemy

We glare at each other

sworn enemies

We ignore one another

and swear our indifference

I do all these things to drive you away

to hide you

to at the very least silence you

And sometimes you are hushed

quiet

But we’ve played this game too long and

I know

You are with me

Always

Unwelcome enemy

Thief

Coward

I hate

hate

hate you

When did you become the biggest part of me?

You are with me

Always

II

My thief

my coward

my uninvited guest

I can’t fight you

can’t destroy you

for you are mine

You’ve taken things that were not yours

ha-things I never knew had value

and things I relied on and

was smugly fond of

Pretty

Grace

Shapely

Fast

Swift

Sure

Undetermined confidence

undirected pride

unfocused mercy

You claim you never took them

How can you even say this?

I hate you so

You took ME

Where am I?

III

I am a Thief

a Coward

I hate

hate

hate

ME?

You and me?

WE?

What have you ever done for me?

inner grace

trueness

focus

unconditionality?

These were mine already

But because of you

because of me

I put them first as they should be

IV

Thief

Coward

I won’t hate

hate

hate you

You took things that were mine

But I found the things that are me

My thief, my coward

my uninvited lifetime guest

Do I thank you?

No, not yet.

My life

I refuse to hate

hate

hate

6 Replies

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  • .

    Parkinson's turns us all into beggers and poets who are looking for an honest answer to a simple question. Why?

  • Why?? Indeed.........................

  • As usual brilliant read. So true. It is obviously very hard skinned as it just does not seem to take any notice of hints. Maybe if we all tried together, we could get rid of it. Worth a try.

  • I've found that it's easiest for me to accept my rude lifetime guest. I won't thank it, but it's impact on my life has allowed those characteristics such as empathy, kindness, understanding, sensitivity, etc., to take their place in front of the line so to speak. PD and thus its host of anti pd chemical warfare has also open a way for me to explore more avenues of creativity.

    Try rereading my babbling in a softer voice. A surrendered whisper to what can not be changed.

  • What a wonderful talent you have with words.

    You may already know this but they have an area in the PDFoundation website where you can submit your work . I was on there last night and wanted to post pictures of my creative side (landscaping), I could not get the pictures to load, might have been having trouble at that moment.

    I know that any of us with this illness would have a visceral response to what you have written.

  • Thanks so much; I'll definitely look at the site. Hopefully I'll see some of your contributions as well.

    Chris

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