EMBARRASSED

[drew410]

Last night I went to a meeting of the Twinning Society. It was there AGM. I must have lost the plot because I asked a question that had already been answered. A lady across the table, who has a prosthetic arm and hand laughed at me and said "Try and keep up". I was very embarrassed. There was no point in trying to explain and anyway I was not in any fit state to do that. This ladies disability is in clear view to everyone, mine is not. Her remarks were born out of ignorance not malice but it brought into sharp focus how PD can catch you out. I can't get it out of my mind so totally brassed off today.

[shasha]

i can understand how you must feel drew but remember - the woman with the false arm did not mean to hurt or upset you - it probably made her feel better about herself - so stop knocking yourself about !!

[christinemc]

Next time you see her say "sorry, my brain was fighting with PD, and PD was winning that night", I have used this before, and it explains without me feeling any worse! Keep strong xx

[shasha in reply to christinemc]

i like this comment and will adopt it i think

[cabbagecottage]

She is the one who should say sorry .. Does she know that you have Parkinson's Drew ?

Don't stop going but next time you meet ask her if she knows anything about the symptoms.

I don't mean in an agressive way , then she might let others undersatnd as well ..

Unfortunately it is the only way they get to learn about it .

[etterus]

Drew... I feel embarrassed for the woman. She wasn't much of a lady.

[dubdiva]

I understand, as I have done/do this on a regular basis , and its a real ouch moment as some of oiur other PD things are ( many without PD have done the same thing) I would think the woman is feeling something worse than embarrassment today-shame. It was rude or maybe even a possibly very bad attempt to be charming. I hope today is happier fo r you

[drew410]

Thank you to you all for your kind and helpful comments. I'm used to giving advice when I can but last night just caught me from left side which only shows that we are all vurnable at times. A good lesson learnt.

I'm fine now that I have broken it down and chewed it over and spat it out!

[Parkinson_Schmarkinson]

Rude is rude; PD has nothing to do with it.

Glad you're over it.

[AndyC]

Tell her to check this site out...she will think differently then! Ignorance is no excuse for rudeness.

[jillannf6]

HI DREW

it is awful that this woman had such an effct on you

r u ok now ?

really?

she is not in control of her own emotions / physicall uttterances to say to you what she did

so do nto plz dwell on it =- she ishthe problem not you

love jill adn a

[chrismw]

Her poor behavior is not a reflection of who you are. And, sometimes the best reaction is NO reaction. I don't feel like it's my responsibility to explain why I move funny sometimes. My mother was a survivor of polio, and wore leg braces and used crutches. I grew up silently staring down bad behavior.

However, when the insult stings a calm comment offering a bit of education may be just the right medicine.

During my early experience of pd illness and spending a lot of time reading and researching, I read an account from a health worker. She stated that her patients with pd were as a group the most thoughtful and easiest population she had ever worked with.

I believe this to be true.

So--finishing up here : ) One could always respond with sometime like "I wish I could respond to you, but I have a disability which affects my ability to be unkind and rude."

Chris

[drew410 in reply to chrismw]

Love that - thank you very much

[shasha in reply to drew410]

did this woman know you have PD as you are so bright and intelligent - she may not have realised

[Thumbpick in reply to chrismw]

Great comeback! Love it!

[jillannf6 in reply to chrismw]

YEA H I LILKE THAT TOO

LOL JILL

[drew410]

I don't advertise the fact that i have Parkers but neither do i hide it. I'm pretty sure she would have heard because she goes to our Church and they all know I have it. I'm not the only gay in the village I am the only Parker in the village! She had a nasty divorce I was told but that does not give her the right to give men a hard time. Ah well, takes all sorts

[drew410]

sent it twice!

[PatV]

I've done that all my life! Now I play the PD card all the time! Hey why not. Love the responses, really.

[PatV in reply to PatV]

But when I obsess about people's responses, it does help to have a friend say let it go. <3

[Hidden]

Chill Mate,

Al

[Hidden]

We can all do and say things that in reflection are inappropriate, but its not malicious just sometimes in haste. And of course chances are many of those around us don't know what they are saying as we all do a great job of just getting on with it. So its testament to you really, in a funny way, that she made that comment! And yes the moment mustn't dwell, in the scheme of things its now shrunk to a spec!

Kindest

C

[drew410]

Absolutely. I was overwhelmed with the response to the blog and I thank eveyone who contributed. For me, I'm used to being strong for others and was surprised to be "caught out" with my vulnerability, shocked actually.

There are more important subjects to discuss on this site so AMEN to this blog.

Drew

[Jeff_R]

I have PD and I also have Mitral Valve Prolapse Syndrome/Dysautonomia. Due to my experience with these conditions, I have learned to never say to anyone, "but you look so good" and after having people say this to me a number of times, my reply to them is, "I wish I felt as good as I look." This usually leaves them speechless and spares any further discussion regarding my health.

God Bless,

Rev_Jeff

[JAYNIE]

I think I have mentioned this before...............when I waited and then used the handicapped toilet. I need the safety bars. Well, this woman tore into me about using it. I counted to 10 "silently" and then SMILED at her, and said.......Ma'am

your handicap is very apparent, you are rude, loud and hurtful. My handicap is not so visual, but it is there, and believe me, sometimes it is difficult to wait for the toilet I want to use, but I have no choice........you are lucky, you can cure your problem, I can not. So please step aside and go about your own business.....!!!

all this was said softly and with t he smile........ she then told me how rude I wask and I could not help but laugh. again I smiled and walked away, telling her to have a nice day. I have used this many times................

Drew, let it go, she was ignorant and rude, it just angers me that she hurt you....

Jaynie