Parkinson's is progressing and I think I've been in denial as medication masked the symptoms .
I feel like my family and friends don't understand what I'm going through but can't they see me struggling?
They're always trying to tell me what I need to do better or different as if there is a cure if only I would eat better, take supplements ect.
I feel like none of them could handle what I go through for a minute .
I think I do a good job at staying positive most the time but I've been really depressed this week.
I feel so lonely.
Even though I have people around me all the time, I fell separate, a island alone.
Parkinson's shows me how alone we all really are-
Born alone , die alone and trapped in our bodies alone.
Sometimes I feel like I'm being tortured,
I'm jealous of my friends and wish I had their problems.
Sorry to spew my negativity -
I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to -
if I said stuff like this to my friends and family they would tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself, tell me I'm being a wimp, give me a pep talk , things like "The true measure of a champion isn't what he does when he's winning but when he's on the canvas knocked out " they're all about the Tough love -
Toughlove is good but once in a while I wish somebody would try to understand the way I feel and how hard it can be.
I know that I am depressed right now and that it's a side effect of Parkinson's logically but I'm so in the darkness right now that I can't find my way out .
So I guess I have control of my actions.
I can't control how I feel or even what I think but I can control what I do and my attitude.
so one foot in front of the other, live in the now, think about all the things I have to be grateful for, do something for somebody else.
what else can I do, my only other option is to live each day feeling the way I do now.
I can't lose hope-
Feel better already, thanks for letting me put my feelings out there-