"The Sounds of the Dying"

I am trapped

in the jerks

and spasms,

the head

bobbing,

and hand

shaking

of a relentless

disease.

I stand

at my window

frozen in that

moment,

my mind

frantically

searching

for the

command

that tells

my body

to move.

I listen to

the fan

whirring,

the dryer

spinning,

the leaves

falling off

their

branches

making the

loudest

sounds

as their

dry,

crisp

bodies

hit the

ground.

I wonder

what kind

of noise

I'll make

when I die.

There are

times

when the

pain is

so bad

I can hear

my body

screaming

inside

my head.

I sometimes

wish

Death

would come.

I am tired.

Tired of

struggling

every day,

while others

pretend I'll

live forever.

All my days

are long now,

every moment

more precious

than the

one before.

I drink in as

much of this

life as I can,

pushing through

the pain

hoping I'll have

a chance,

next time

around

to live

forever.

Jupiterjane

9 Replies

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  • I love your poetry!

  • HANG IN THERE AND REMEMBER ..GOD LOVES YOU

    YOUR POETRY IS SO MOVING AND HEARTBREAKING

  • You write with tremor

    jerks and spasms

    leaping ortho-

    graphic chasms.

    If your body

    hurts like hell,

    how’s it that

    you write so well?

    You won't leave us

    till the day

    you have nothing

    more to say.

    When the time comes

    you will know it

    until then:

    you are our poet.

    (love you tender)

  • I just can't find the words to describe how I felt when reading this. I can't imagine what you are going through and just wish I could find the right words.

    You are so strong and gifted - remember that. Where would we all be without your words.

    Hope today will be a better one for you.

    Love

    Sue

  • I too love your poetry. I hope your pain is less today than yesterday and less tomorrow than today. Have a wonderful day.

  • Your poetry is beautiful (and sad at the same time) I was dx 11-12 yrs ago and i have good days n bad like y'all. But every day is a new adventure, checking my inner strength to see if and what i can do today. i push myself, sometimes TOO hard, lol! Then i pay dearly the next couple o days. But I will never stop working very hard, tired or not because thats my way of telling my uninvited visitor "don't get too comfortable cuz you won't be stayin very long! This is my body n you CANNOT HAVE IT!

  • A dried leaf falling

    I cannot hear it

    I cannot see it

    but I feel it

    as I feel your agony, it's weight upon my Soul

    We share your Desire to live

    out on the knife's edge

    forever...

    Happy, what is that?

    A respite, sleep, lunch, nothing to do, say or be anymore

    that is less than,

    I can always love

    there are no words in my heart that speak of your joy

    only aching to help you because I feel it

    your sorrow

  • Thank you for toching words. It's nice to know I'm understood and cared about!

  • Your words are lovely though they remind me of the tired soul I hide away from the world. This site really is a godsend.

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