Gut renching decition

Gut renching decition

My mother died the 1 of Jan.

She lives in Norway.

Because of being so dizzy and off balance, I decided I can not

take this trip.

It is a 20 h journey.

Mother and I talked about it before she died, and

she said not to even give it a thought, and to stay home and take care of myself.

It still feel very bad.

I went to a friends funeral this morning.

I had to get up and leave.

I felt I was at the wrong funeral.

I do my best to not let PD interfere with my life​.

But in this instance, PD got me!!

Keep going, friends :)

Below see a pic. off mamma and me​.

28 Replies

  • Great photo. It's always sad to loose a parent. I lost my mom 2002, and my dad 2010. Now I'm an orphan and when I have a question about an incident that they could answer, they are not around. I'm sorry you were not there for the funeral, but glad you had the phone conversations.

  • My mother died in other city in my home state. I was not there. Only my father was there.

    A friend died and his widow asked why I did not attend the funeral.

  • What a beautiful photo of mother and daughter! I am very sorry for your loss. My mother passed in 1982 and I still think of her everyday! Treasured memories will live on in your heart forever.

    2016 has not begun as a happy year. My 79 old brother passed on Jan 3. He had Alzheimers.



  • Same here. The year didn't start well. Hope it gets better. Next line

    Hugs and love from Eva

  • That must be an awful situation...I am in the same position, I probably live to regret it. I hope your relationship with your mother was a happy one. It sounds like it. Life is sometimes so cruel.

  • We had a very sweet goodbye. For which I will be forever grateful. She was a great mom.

  • Yes. Your Mother sounds very sweet. I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs

  • Hello Eva

    To start with i love your name. I looked up the meaning "Full of Life". The smile you have tells me you deserve your name.

    Please try to remember the good times you had with your her.

    She will always be with you as long as you carry her in your heart and memories.

    Share your grief with the ones you love because the more you share the less you will have.

    May you find peace


  • You had the most important and personal of goodbyes. I know it's hard not to anguish over such a decision, but you did just what your Mamma wanted you to do, and that was the last time you will have had that blessed opportunity. That photo is so lovely -- the two of you look so aglow just to be in each other's company. I'm wishing you peace of mind, dear Eva.


  • Thank you so much Becky!!!

    God bless you!!!

  • I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you peace.

  • Thank you Kattalina!

    God bless you!!

    Hugs, Eva G


  • Eva

    So sorry to hear you lost your beautiful Mum.

    I enjoy reading your posts.

    May you cherish your special memories of your Mother and be comforted by them.


  • Is there any way you can set up a video link? We recently had a Christening at our church when one of the God parents took part from Australia.

    Beautiful photo.

    Hugs and prayers x

  • Hi, What a beautiful picture. Your mamma has a lovely warm smile. I'm certain she would not want you to feel guilty about her funeral. Why not have a chat with you local Vicar or priest and have a memorial service for her. Personally I think a humanist service is more personal and all about the person rather than the religion. Of course the choice is yours.

    These are very early days after losing your precious Mamma. Your emotions will be in turmoil. Your feelings are raw. You must try to forgive yourself for things you cannot change now. You had your mamma for many years this last period of time is just that a small period of time in all the years you had with her, try to think of all the positives and happy times with your Mamma. Even if you didn't have PD this would be a soul searching heart wrenching time for you.

    Warm and gentle hugs to you. Be kind to yourself.

  • So sorry to hear about this. Please don't feel guilty since your mother fully understood. Thank you for sharing this lovely photo with us. May our thoughts and prayers bring you comfort.

  • What a great photo of two thoughtful women! Oh that would have half killed you to go and then to return again on a 20 hour flight! Cannot even imagine doing that with pd. I have to really think about a 4 hour flight. My legs just go numb and I can't hardly move (before I knew what I had)! Please remember her wishes that you stay put. She was 100% right about that! So sorry for your loss of your lovely Mom.

  • I just read your post and I am sending you a great big hug. I am so very sorry that you lost your mother. Please do not feel guilt for not attending the service. I am sure that your mother knew how much you loved her and that you were there in spirit. Hope that each day makes it a little easier. Remember the good times and it will help. Peaches

  • My condolences to you. I lost my dad suddenly just before Christmas and understand a little of the heartache you are going through although we are all different. Try to take comfort in the fact you were in fact also following your mammas wishes, it was what SHE wanted too. You obviously had a very close bond and the last thing she wanted was for you to suffer. What we do for each other in life is more important than what we can do at the time of death and the way you speak and from the photo you obviously have no worries on that front! Its too soon just now, too fresh but you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. My condolences again, remember the happy times xx

  • It is sad and I feel unnecessary to think that PD "got" you. Your mother was the one who "got" you. It was her wish was for you to not make the 20 hour trip. She knew that you loved her, no doubt have lived a life that made her proud of you, and did not want you to jeprodize your health because she had passed away. Don't give our nasty PD the power over your thoughts of feeling guilty. Honor your mother by respecting her wishes and remember your pleasant times together.

  • This helps so much. Thank you. And God bless you.

  • I'd just like to add my thoughts & prayers to the long list. The photo really says it all - a happy mother & daughter who love each other very much. That doesn't go when the body gives out, the love remains & grows stronger in different ways.

    God bless.

  • I'm sorry to hear this. Hope you're feeling better soon.

  • What lovely replies Eva. I was thinking as I read of all those many migrants over the centuries who left Europe and family to settle in the new world and they never saw each other again.

    I think rituals are important in marking transitions and I suspect you will have conducted many yourself. You were not where she physically was at her death but if you haven't already you still can have a beautiful farewell and commemorative ceremony for and with her where you are.


  • This is true he Hikoi. The funeral is at 12:30 in Norway in the middle of the day on Tuesday the 18th. That will be 430 in the morning here and I will got up and sit in silence thinking about my mother and my brothers and All my relatives while they're having The funeral ceremonies.💕💖❤️🌺🌸🌷💕

  • 12stargate, from the photo, I can tell that you and your mother loved each other very much and really enjoyed each other's company. That kind of relationship with either parent is such a gift. Having PD myself, I can't imagine taking a 20 hour journey anywhere. It sounds like you have a lot of guilt for not going to her funeral, but, honestly, would she have wanted her girl to make such a long trip knowing the difficulties it would have caused you? Maybe when Spring comes, you can plant a tree or even just a house plant in her honor. Then every time you care for the plant, you can think thoughts of gratitude for her. Then, PD will not have the last say in the matter.

  • Thank you to everyone for your loving and kind support when my mother died.

    I will always remember your compassion. God bless you!!!

    Much love and many blessings from Eva G


  • Nice picture. I'm sure your mother understood how badly you feel about not being able to make it there. She would have been so worried about you if you had tried & if anything had happened along the way or back, think how badly she would have felt. So sorry for your loss. My mother died 10 years ago (she also had Parkinsons) and I miss her daily.

    Big hugs, Sherry

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