How does one keep his or her sanity in the face of illness? My husband and I are both losing it at the same time. I am especially saddened at the death of my teacher friend who along with me was poisoned when we breathed in herbicide for a day and a half in our classrooms along with our students. She got sick a short time after I did, she with ovarian cancer and me with triple negative breast cancer along with parkinson's. I believe it's no coincidence. And now this disease is destroying my life, my marriage, my family, and my faith. How does one cope?

20 Replies

  • Dear Michaela;

    I feel horrified at what you are going through.

    I can not even tell you how to cope.

    I will pray with you.

    Please get professional help.

    Hugs an d love from Eva

  • Well there's a million dollar question.... And the answer will differ for all. I can only answer for me.

    I cope because I love life. A gorgeous sunset, to see the stars, write silly words in the sand, eat too many cherries and buy that dress I don't need.

    I cope because pd is squeezed out of my life whilst I doodle, write, drum, dance, play table tennis, mentor, work, cook ....

    I cope because I talk, I ask, I don't stay silent.

    I cope because it's possible.

    I'm sure you can too.



  • Dear Henderson;

    What an excellent answer!!!!!!

    I will use that!!

    Thank you!!!

    Love and hugs, Eva Gabrielle

  • You are going through so much. Remember those who love you; remember whom you love; love is always the answer. I understand what you mean about herbicide. I blame Agent Orange.

  • I agree with WHAT CHH says

    ;lol jill

  • ps lost my post to you about l hour `ago\

  • My heart goes out to you and your husband. There is an article in the New Yorker (link attached) which I think might offer a way to reconnect with the spiritual dimensions of yourselves and gain a foothold in loving the world, even for people facing the challenges you are both facing. Its off the charts, but then again for where you are, the Trip Treatment may offer an answer.


  • Interesting article - thanks for sharing

  • I made a conscious decision to live life fully and not let my condition get in the way. I participate in whatever touches my heart. I find joy in the small things in my life. I choose not to dwell on why or how I got this. I am grateful as I have been given a wake up call to tell me that my life is out of balance and I have an opportunity to live life fully. That's what I do now and I'm having a great time doing it.

  • Hi Michaela. How soon after you breathed in the herbicide did you both get sick? I have never heard of triple negative breast cancer. I assume you have the usual 2 breasts so it won't have anything to do with that. Negative cancer sounds as if you don't have cancer. I am confused!


  • Triple negative is a very aggressive breast cancer that is not caused by estrogen, progesterone, or Herr 2. So that means not by hormones. They don't know how it's caused. Only about 15% of breast cancer is triple negative. However, i was stage 1 and that's good! It was 2000 when we breathed in the herbicide. My cancer was diagnosed in 2011 and the pd in 2012. But I know that i had the pd at the same time because I had symptoms but thought they were from the chemo. So that's 11 years. My friend was diagnosed the next year. Parkinson's has been linked to pesticide use. I believe it took that long for our DNA to change. It's too much of a coincidence that we both got sick near the same time with reproductive cancers and then me with pd.

  • My relationship with the Lord is the hope he gives me to keep going. My confidence is in the rearview mirror of fifty years of knowing Him and His deliverance. His Word is full of promises that he is able and willing to keep.

  • The day after my brain was in a fog, was very difficult to wake up, and had a headache. I used to be a morning person, so i knew something was very wrong.

  • I am so sorry you are dealing with so many issues at the same time. Please accept my condolences on the passing of your friend. I have learned to take one day at a time and to not worry about those things I have no control over. Without getting preachy I have also found my faith to be a source of strength and comfort. I can't tell what to do or how to do it as we are all different and what helps one person does not help another.

    Do you belong to a support group? That is a great place to start.You are dealing with the grief of losing your friend and the grief of your own health issues. If finances allow, seek professional counseling and encourage your spouse/family to do the same. It may help all of you to gain perspective and to be able to pull together instead of apart.

    If you need to "talk" feel free to contact me via this site. While my exact circumstances are different I can be a good listener.

  • Thank you!

  • As time and energy permit do what you can to prevent this from happing to others. In doing so, your suffering will not be in vain. Which herbicide was it?

  • I'm not sure, but i think the brand name was Greenview.

  • Thanks for your comment.

  • You are not alone. We all have at one time or other gone through the same feelings that you are .Thanks to sites like this , we have some where to go and get support . I have my moments, why me ? Then I think to myself, I have Parkinson's , but it doesn't have me !



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