There are some days when I just can't seem to get anything right. Today is one of those days! I am weepy, edgy, moody, offensive, defensive and it seems every word out of my mouth just sounds stupid! My Robert, the Love of my life, is hardworking, generous, funny, caring and would do anything for me. He accepts me as I am, but keeps me on my toes, challenges me, encourages me to keep going even when I just want to throw in the towel and quit. So why do I think every time he is five minutes late that he's cheating on me, or every time he looks at his text messages he's talking to some other woman who he likes more. It's stupid, I know. He tells me all the time how much he loves me, how he would do anything to take away my pain and still I want to accuse. These negative thoughts run around my brain all the time, these stupid, stupid thoughts that I know are not true. I have learned not to speak aloud these damn thought, but I can't make them stop. I hate myself or at least this person I have become. This disease has changed me and I don't like it! I have always been a strong, independent, confident woman and now I feel, how could anyone love me? I am needy, moody, shaky, dependent, and my thought are just not me. I could never thank My Robert enough for the love he gives me , for the life he shares with me, for the strength and the happiness he shows me. But, I'm going to try!
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