I'v been looking after my dad for the past 8 years with Parkinson's disease and dementia!! I'm one if 6 siblings and feel very alone!!

My mother is still alive and lives with him, I'm finding the care all too much, I don't talk to my siblings as they don't help at all!! I'm very close to my dad and watching him slipping away is breaking my heart!! I'm trying to get out of caring for him as my health is suffering and sometimes I loose patience from tiredness!! I feeling so guilty

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7 Replies

  • Dear Heart

    Its ok to ask for help. You need a break. Its ok!

    I am the one with PD in my family but I care for my parents. My Mum has a pacemaker and my Dad has the beginnings of dementia. My sister is busy working so while I can still drive I do everything. Sometimes I have to say "NO" for my own sake.

    There are plenty of helpers around. I am in the UK so Age UK is the best start. Its something I have to do too, find helpers for them in order to give myself time to have a life.

    Talk to your sibs, they might just think that you are ok and don't need help.

  • Caring can be an absolutely thankless job at times there are many people like you out there

    But there is help.

  • Oh, I feel for you. Don't despair. There are several things you can do so you don't feel alone and isolated. Join a Parkinson's support group in your area as there will be members who are or have been in the same situation as you. By just talking with them you'll find solutions.

    There must also be carers group you could join and they have a wealth of information which can be off help.

    Write down

    - and talk about the help you require

    - and talk to your siblings about how you feel and the support you'd like. They may be surprised by what you say and not realise how isolated you feel

    - all the things you want in place, which will give your father the care he needs and which will give you comfort and respite and not guilt

    From my experience with the support group I run, I find that people seem reluctant to ask for help and I think it is because of the English culture and pride. I take the attitude that all the charities that have organised themselves is because a group of people agreed and decided that people need help and support for them to cope with the circumstances they are in. Nothing would give them more pleasure than helping those who need it.

    Sorry it reads a bit garbled but hope it makes some sort of sense.

  • In North Caarolina we have ,in each county ,a Dept on Aging. Some counties have Senior Day Care Programs,,,Please check in your area,,,,

  • Area Agencies on Aging usually have some services available that could make your life easier .. I think they serve clusters of counties or States .. Just look into Area Agencies on Aging to see what's available in your area ...

  • I sent you a private message.

  • Find a PD support group, and find put if they have a care givers meeting

    I think you will get help



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