Acceptance

[tlongmire]

I have been so depressed lately and have had a couple of meltdowns (one at Walmart and one with my Neuro). I decided the most important thing I can do for my emotional well being, in addition to Paxil, is to quit thinking about "what was". I came across this poster and thought it very fitting so I printed several out and placed them throughout the house.

[etterus]

Losing without suffering.... or lose the suffering.

[tlongmire in reply to etterus]

Thanks Etterus. How are you doing in your new home and cooler temps? Hope you are well.

[etterus in reply to tlongmire]

So far so good. Oregon summers are wonderful. It will be the long rainy winters that might be challenging.

[Sedona]

I can relate to having problems accepting having pd, even though I was diagnosed over 10 years ago. I try to stay busy to keep my mind off it, but still always have a melt down at my Nuro apt. I am finally getting to the point where I can tell someone that I have pd without crying. Recently having to leave my day job was another emotional hurdle. I try to keep positive, but no matter how many times I tell myself, "just think, you can finally stay home and devote your time and energy working in your studio", something I've always wanted to do, it always ends with the thought that it's because I am now unable to do much else. I too have put inspirational wall decals in my studio, my favorites being: "Let your faith be bigger than your fear" and "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, she became a butterfly". Believe it or not, it really seems to help! Find something that you are passionate about, it really helps to keep a positive outlook.

[tlongmire in reply to Sedona]

Thanks.

[beauxreflets]

I took up photography again, so when things seem heavy I immerse myself snapping away at beauty. I put a few shots up on my website, blog and cameracraniums.com/forum/

[tlongmire in reply to beauxreflets]

Very nice pics. Thanks.

[shasha]

DEAR TERRI - I AM SO SORRY TO READ THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SO DOWN - I WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING TO HELP YOU -- KEEP YOUR CHIN UP MY DEAR - WE LOVE YOU ......

## SHASHA XXXX

[tlongmire in reply to shasha]

Thanks ShaSha. It's just nice to know there are people like you and others on this site, that at times, walk in my shoes. Have you been enjoying the pool this summer? Hope you and Fred are well. Hugs, Terri

[shasha in reply to tlongmire]

TO BE HONEST I HAVE NOT BEEN IN THE POOL AS MUCH AS I SHOUKD OF AS THE STEPS DOWN ARE A BIT DAUNTING TO SAY THE LEAST AND THEN THERE IS THE GETTING BACK UP THEM WHEN I AM TIRED !!

[PatV]

Good advice or as they say in Buddhism "One day at a time." A side effect of PD is loss of emotional affect so if you can still cry it's a good thing. I was happy when I got my dx, almost ten years ago, because I thought it was something worse. I've always told everyone I have it, especially now that I get twitchy when meds kick in. And I'm glad I can still smile and say hello so I'm not the taciturn gloomy gus I was as a younger woman. I did get depressed when my daughter told me "only call me when you have an emergency" (she has a TBI) and get counseling for a year. Now I'm going through my mom (93) going in hospice and not knowing when the end will come and she's 1000 miles away.. So that's stressful and I can't deny it. Best to you, tlongmire!

[tlongmire in reply to PatV]

Thanks Pat. Best to you as well.

[ronn]

Terri, Sorry that your feeling down, but that's now in the "what was". I hope you are doing better. You have helped and raised the spirits of so many of our members, (myself included), you deserve a good "what is".

Best Wishes,

Ronn

[tlongmire in reply to ronn]

Thanks Ronn. It's just so hard to deal with at times. You're right it will soon be in tne "what was".

[Kathleen]

Hi, I am 63 years old and have had Parkinsons for 7 yearsI would like to share with you my experience. I went to a Neuro for 6 years and was over medicated and I found a new Neuro from a friend and I will tell you I am like my old self, no more meltdowns . I would cry at the drop of a hat and no explanition,well I cried in the office and I told him I do this all the time ,well it is part of Parkinsons , I take 10mg of Nuedexta. I take it at bedtime and it was explained to me that some people have crying or uncontrolable laughiing, I could hardly walk used a walker and a walking stick,I was introduced to Apokynand now I drive I walk and I feel like I got my life back , I work full time also .I wish you the best

[tlongmire in reply to Kathleen]

Thanks.

[Traveller1]

Hi,

I was diagnosed with PD May 2012 at the age of 56. I am divorced have two gron up daughters and live on my own. I was devastated, as a nurse I had convinced myself that I had a benign tremor due to the stress and be treated with a beta blocker. I even told the Neuro consultant he was wrong, "I'm a nurse not a patient", went to the gym, didn't smoke and had a healthy diet. Well It has taken me till now to get my head round it. There was a young soldier who had lost both legs and a arm being interviewed on the TV who was in training for the para Olympics, he said he wasn't angry and accepted his injuries and was not going to let him stop him from getting on with his life. Well that was my kick up the backside, all the time I was saying to myself "this time last year I was doing this or that", I wasn't living in the present and was wasting time. So I booked a holiday to India with an overland company, have changed my job to a telephone triage nurse so I can use my skilsl without being asked, why my left hand shakes, was I nervous ?. Well PD chose me I didn't choose it so what can I do ? Talk about it don't hide it, dont' be ashamed. laugh, my daughters call my tremor 'Shakey Sue'. There are no rules, yes it's hard,accept all the help you want and from the people you want it from.

[ftadh in reply to Traveller1]

hi u make it sound so easy dx in feb 2012 still dont accept it efects everyday of my life and i hate it

[Traveller1]

I understand, it's not easy, I HATE IT TOO , but what can we do?, I have shed many a tear and still do at times. I have been to Pilates this morning and my tremor was very intrusive in my left arm. I tell some people others I don't depends on my mood, I fight with anxiety every day. I broke down last week when someone I know was complaining about their knee replacement and not being able to drive at present.

Have you a specialist nurse you could speak to, or spoken to someone at Parkinson UK, or discussed counselling ?.

[tlongmire in reply to Traveller1]

Thanks. Yes, I have several people I can talk to and that does help. But with every new symptom comes more dispair until you come to grips with it. I,like you, have shed many a tear and I know there will be more to come. By the way I am in the US.

[Traveller1]

HI, I'm glad you have good people around you, I find it most difficult to talk to my daughters, age 26 and 40 years old, don't want to upset them and pray that PD won't affect them, we have no family history. Every day is a challenge, my tremor affects my left hand and leg, and my co ordination, went to Zumba this morning and I spotted two ladies who where definetly talking about me, but I never said anything to them, I couldn't be bothered . Well I am right handed so can still put the makeup on and blow dry my hair, my neurologist commented I was looking well, I replied that's because I can do my makeup, looks can be deceptive, he never said anything ha ha, poor man . So chin up chest out, get that lippy on and get out there hun .

[sistadred]

Getting depressed is an easy thing to happen when you have PD, part of it is that depression is a part of the disease, just like the tremors, and stiffness and all that other crap that goes with having PD. I try to control what I can with this disease and my attitude is the one thing I have some control over. When I find myself getting depressed about having PD and start feeling sorry for myself, I see other people in this world dealing with there own illness/ disease. One day I was PARKED UP( my way of saying I was having a bad day with my PD ) so I was bitching and moaning about why me. A woman in a wheelchair get on the bus and she is moving the chair with her index finger.

Her wheelchair was all blinged out. That changed my attitude, I am still walking ( slow) but I am walking. Everything I do now is in slow mode, but I can do it.So I try to focus on what I can . I love to dance and before PD I was an awesome dancer.After PD I still dance , but with a different level of awesome.I make alot of jokes about me and PD. like the time I tried to paint a bedroom. I created a new art form on those walls. If you are religious, you can get strength through that. I'm Buddhist and my daily prayers help me see and appreciate the good things in my life.

Create joy in your life whenever you can.

[tlongmire in reply to sistadred]

Thanks. Yes, I have so much to be thankful for and I am most of the time. But there are days like you said when I am "all PARKED up." I try to keep a positive attitude but sometimes it's just too much. But I keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. This has been a bad year for me. It started with plantar faciatis followed by shingles, a broken ankle (result of a fall), and now severe neck pain. On the plus side I have started working with a personal triner to regain the strength I lost during the last 8 months.