I wake often during the night and early morning but now it is time to arise. I can barely remove myself from the bed - the pain is excruciating. My joints are screaming, my sciatia dibilitating. I barely shuffle through the house searching out my purse. I take my meds. I wait. I wait some more. I try to do something -make coffee, make the bed, etc. The time is not right, so I wait some more. And then that window opens and I rush around "doing" this and that - as much as I can until that window closes on me once again. It may be an hour, maybe several. This defines a good day versus a bad day. Off to work, struggling all the while with my balance, my gait, my fumbling,my slowness,my cautionary way of doing anything and everything. I pack my day with as normal activity as I can, although to watch me you know I am not normal - the way I execute even the smallest motion is a telltale indication of my affliction. But I am relentless in my efforts regardless of the onlookers. I return home exhausted - never exhilirated. In the peacefullness of my home, my safe haven, I feel the window closing and know meds are due again. So I wait and I wait. And when the window opens again, the world is asleep and I am alone with my thoughts. Dare I go to bed and begin the cycle again or shall I begin one of my never ending projects to delay the inevitable - I wake often during the night - this is my third "get up". And so my day is beginning again.
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