Today

Today, is no different

Than any other day

I look in the mirror

I have dark circles

Under my eyes,

And a lost expression

on my face

Pain overwhelms me,

Anxiety cripples me

And all I can think of

Is the peace

death will bring

Family and friends

And their bold faced lies

"you look so good today"

Irritate and upset me

Someone should write

A book about,

"What not

To say or do"

When a loved one is

Sick or dying.

We are ill, not stupid

When you talk of

The future,

About a cure,

a long life,

An easy retirement,

Travel, grandkids,

My mind just

Goes blank

and I search

for my

Happy place.

Can't we just

Turn today,

And each

New day into

Those times when

Memories are created,

Memories so strong

That they are

Engrained in our souls

And will not be

Forgotten even

When the loss is so

Great we cannot

Lift our heads.

Living in the moment,

For the moment,

Doing what feels good,

Even if it's just

Sitting on the couch,

Wrapped in an old blanket,

Watching a Classic movie

Laughing, crying,

lost in feeling

This is life,

This is living.

Jupiterjane

20 Replies

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  • Sister, thank you. But there are some things we must do. We must be brave for others, when we can. I don't know why right now because you took my breath away, but I do know it. Love.

  • Yes, there are some people who need to see only our positive, fighting side but I could not go on if I did not have someone with who I can share my fears and my doubts, someone who can read these words and understand how unbelievably vulnerable I am and be there for me when I stumble and fall. Someone who loves unconditionally!

  • Thank you...I have found living for today and not dwelling on the future has given me a much better today.

  • Sometimes all we can do is live moment to moment...

  • The book you want to read is titled Life In The Balance, by Dr Thomas Graboys. Dr Graboys was a prominent Boston cardiologist who was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and had to give up his practice. He was overcome with worry that his condition would cause his friends and family to abandon him. What I found interesting about the book was, no matter who you are or what you do, we all share the same feelings about PD.

  • Interesting, I'll see if I can't find the book on my Kindle.

  • If you find it, please let me know.

  • Life in the Balance: A Physician's Memoir of Life, Love, and Loss with Parkinson's Disease and Dementia by Thomas B. Graboys is not available on Kindle (at least not in USA). It can be ordered in hardcover or paperback through Amazon.com. However, if you are like me I don't really read much if it's not on the Kindle because it is difficult to turn pages or go through papers, etc.

  • Dear joe: I couldn't finish tDr. Graboys' book. I got to the part where he stated " when I lose control of my bowels" I will end it and couldn't continue. It is very well written and resonated too strongly for me. I wrote to him and he responded very nicely the first few times but has not replied to me since. That was about 18 months ago. I hope he is well, I believe that he had Lewy's also...?

  • Words are breath

    breath is life

    life is brief.

    Love is strength

    here and now

    breathe it in.

  • Beautiful!

  • As you are too!!!!!!!!

  • You are my life my soul my breath

    you give me hunger and sorrow

    you give me joy and tomorrow

    you make me live the best way I can

    Each moment unique, each second Divine

    Come dance with us into the light

    the beach at sunset, your hand in mine

    you know we all love you more

    for your realities, your dreams

    you are all that we need

    sometimes

  • We Parkinson's patients sure do write some pretty prose!

  • I live for the day, taking one day at a time. I don't think about the future because whoever we are and whatever our problems there are so many unexpected things that can happen. No one knows why we have this terrible disease, but at least this site gives us a place where we can share our feelings with others who understand. We can only pray, and who knows, a cure may be just round the corner. Try to stay strong and always FIGHT. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Do not let PD defeat you. We are all there for each other.

  • Court, every day is a new day, and each day brings forth some understanding of what is needed to continue on this fight. Some days I feel strong and optimistic and other days the shadows are so close, so close, with promises of tranquility and peace that they seem to mesmerize...

  • Living from hour to hour can be hard enough, never mind from day to day. It is not easy to count our blessings, because we can't see any. but if we look hard enough I believe they are there. Some days it is a beautiful sunrise, a flight of geese, a giggle from one of my grandchildren - these small things give me the strength to go on and live to FIGHT another day. Not easy I know. But we have to have faith and hope.

    Hope you have a better day today. We, your friends, are always there for you. Never forget that.

    Suexxx

  • Is that jane from Jupiter

    and i thought boys were stupider...lol no offense meant

    I love your work

    you write with my blood on your pen/keys

    my heart in your hand

    each moment unique

    sometimes not so happy sometimes not so sad

    sometimes death doesn't seem half bad

    Sometimes I'm so stupid and awkward and slow

    sometimes I get up raring to go

    I love my kids, my wife and friends

    sometimes I don't know how this story ends!

    Happy 15th of January, 8:06.59 am

  • Thank You for the homage. I Love it! "Youse" guys are awesome!

  • I have a very difficult time writing what I am feeling.

    I want to thank all of you for expressing and sharing your feelings. :)

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