A man walks into a big London fruit and veg shop and tries to buy half a cauliflower.
The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole cauliflowers.
The man persists and asks to see the manager.
The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager,
'Some bamstick oot therr waants tae buy hauf a cauliflower.'
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'An this gentleman his kindly offered tae buy the ither hauf.'
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?'
'Glesga, sir,' the boy replied.
'Well, why did you leave Glasgow ?' the manager asked.
The boy said, 'Sir, there's nothin' but whores and fitba players up therr.'
'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Glasgow .'
'Christ, ye're kidding?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play fur?'