some people just need reassuring

[Inola]

Sick of seeing 7+ comments on people's posts saying "go to your doctor, we can't diagnose you" such lack of sympathy (not that they are only looking for sympathy) people should think and word things differently, try saying something like "oh that doesn't look to good, have you been to the doctors" or "how are you feeling, any otherr symptoms as someone could have the same as you, I think you should still go to the doctors as we can't answer with 100% that we know what's wrong" ****** me off

[bantam12]

It's not a lack of sympathy it's a sensible reply, maybe avoid reading those posts if it upsets you 🙂

[Inola in reply to bantam12]

I totally agree it is a sensible reply, but it could be worded nicer! It doesn't upset me but I can't really avoid them if I wanted because they are on most posts but I'll give it a go 😂

[Cat33 in reply to Inola]

I know how you feel I won't post on here again I had real horror stories instead of reassurance Trouble is once you have read them you can't unread them can you and I really wasn't expecting replies that I got

Take care and hope you feel much better soon

[Hidden in reply to Cat33]

Your exactly right.. u never know what someone is going to say in there reply to ur post. Yeah u have to be thick skinned and understand everyone has there own opinion but bottom line... Words do hurt.. and some people don't get it or see it that way.

[Cat33 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your lovely reply

Yes words do hurt and scare ☺️

[GreenHunter in reply to Cat33]

You word things how you feel. You don’t have to be politically correct in a reply. If someone doesn’t like your reply. They should ignore it. Not go into a rant. I listen to anyone’s point of view

[GreenHunter in reply to GreenHunter]

As people have already said. This site is all about people with injuries & disabilities helping each other. Sharing their experiences & passing on their observations. What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.

[GreenHunter in reply to Cat33]

You carry on posting. Everyone is different and some may be suffering at the time of posting, sometimes things don't come out the way they were meant to. Give yourself time to settle in.

[Sheila-Squirrel]

I get where you are coming from. It’s harder to give reassuring words in written form as people (well meaning) go for the shortest way to get a message across. It comes across as a bit cold even when well intentioned. It’s a thing that although we may all have similar issues our treatments will be individual. I guess people are playing safe so as not to give out wrong info. Someone might not know what else to say and just wants to say something to let the person know they are thinking of them. It’s a hard one to get a balance with. I’m just happy to get responses from people as it shows they took the time to read my post and think about me. Many bright blessings and I wish you a day with less pain x

[Hidden]

I think some people just don't know what to say.. and when they do say it.. they think they r helping. That's what makes us all different. Right now.. our world needs more empathy for others. Hugs for everyone

[babarhom]

hi Inola

I agreed with your 100% .I ve send some post after my HA .Did get strange answers .So now i just read

[johnsmith]

You say: "go to your doctor, we can't diagnose you". Is highlighting a person's lack of understanding. You can determine that in about 5 seconds. Then make a choice to go to a post that is more productive to read.

If you have a chronic disability so much time is spent handling that disability that you don't what to spend time reading a lot of words that may or may not be helpful. You want to spend time reading something that is hopefully useful.

So "go to your doctor, we can't diagnose you" may be uncomfortable but you have read it in 5 seconds.

[Inola in reply to johnsmith]

I agree but it could be said in a better way so people think you actually care. I'm tick skinned so it doesn't bother me but what about the people that really do care and really need supportive comments to help them

[bantam12 in reply to Inola]

" It could be said in a better way" how about the person asking the question asks in a better way.Very often it's a list of symptoms then "what have I got or what is it "

whereas ending with - does anyone have a similar experience ? might invite further comment.

It works both ways 🙂

[johnsmith in reply to bantam12]

I agree with you. However, it is difficult to write. When we engage face to face with someone we get feedback which gives us clues to provide more information. The writing medium is such that many people do not realise that they need to present information in a different way than the way they present information in a face to face engagement. So sometimes it is up to us to ask them the appropriate question.

[Inola in reply to johnsmith]

I agree it works both ways