Pain period!

[Hopeful_kidney]

I have these episodes when I'm self-pitying again! I need words of encouragement because I'm going to "school" again for my treatment(dialysis) I'm in alot of pain right now! Everywhere Arggghhh! Help me! I just need help to help lift my spirits up! I'm having these voices in my head "I should go or don't go!" I'm always tired most of the time. I wish all of these would just go away & leave me alone😭 Why me again? Help me PLEASE !!!!! I wanna survive today then I'll be fine. Thank you!

[Badbessie]

Obviously you are on haemodialysis. Which does take a great deal out of you. The travel, diet and medications all can make life miserable. Depression is fairly common amongst Renal patients or with most people with a long term chronic disease. Could you have peritoneal dialysis? Which places less strain on you and put you more in control of the treatment. Are you on the transplant list? Which could improve your quality of life? I worked in Renal for many years and what you are going through is a normal reaction to a abnormal situation. My advice would be speak to your dialysis nurse and tell them about your feelings and doubts. From my own experiences I am sure it would be nothing that they have not heard before. You need help. Often the physical aspects are very well done but it's obvious that you need help to cope. There are a number of stratagems that could give you coping mechanisms but you must reach out to the Doctors and Nurses. If they are not aware of the problems they cannot help. Good luck. I am sure you will get through today. People are far stronger than they think. They just need help at times to find that strength.

[Hopeful_kidney in reply to Badbessie]

Thank you Badbessie.

[butterflyEi]

On an emotional level I fully understand your need to vent. I see your post was quite a few hours ago so I am sure you have survived the day. To go through what you are going through is traumatic for the body and soul and I am sure you have good support around you but sometimes we all have a need to bare our soul to an anonymous listener and I do sincerely hope you feel better for it. Badbessie has given you a great answer and hopefully you have a nurse with whom you can relate and share some of your fears.

I am a very different age to you so it may or may not be relevant but on You Tube there are many recordings on visualization and meditation which I have listened to when I am at my lowest and have found them most helpful, I have also found I sleep better when listening to different people. Sleep is so important and it is always so much easier to cope when not tired.

I do hope you find a way through everything.

best wishes

[Hopeful_kidney in reply to butterflyEi]

Thank you butterflyEi!