First I say, I hope its alright to post this.
I class myself as being lonely, very lonely.
Could anyone and everyone who reads this please tell me why some of us are lonely.
Are lonely people bad people.
What is the answer please tell me.
I would say the pain of being lonely is killing me.
There is no why. You can spend of time trying to determine "why". Join a religious group that you find fits in with what you believe. You will learn skills and come in contact with people. Coming in contact with people will enable you to find people who have something in common with you.
You must do. That is what gives you experience to do things in different ways.
Cannot say more than this.
Hi Rod-S ☺
Alot of people are lonely for individual and unique reasons.
You haven't indicated in your post why it is that you are lonely, very lonely.
I hope that it will "calm your mind" that, NO; Lonely people are not bad people. I'm wondering why did you ask that question? I've known lonely people for a variety of reasons and they have always been good/nice/descent people.
If you could mention why you are lonely and feeling lonely it would be very helpful.
I find that there is a big difference in being lonely as opposed to being alone.
Let us know.
If you're by your self.maybe put some upbeat music on, 🎵🎹🎻happy music, if you're alone try a funny ridiculous dance🎶🎵 and just dance around,🎹🎻🎤 if you don't know the lyrics to any particular song -🎤🎤🎤 make up your own, you'd be surprised at some of your own lyrics! Don't try to write them down just sing away 🎵🎶at .....whatever, and you just might find you've had the best medicine of laughter that you created ☺😁😄😂!!!
Maybe you have been so hurt in the past and trust no one,???
Are you able to get out and meet up with people ? I like having time on my own but equally I like going out and seeing people. Maybe you are not on the transport system ? Now that could make getting out difficult. Not I would hope impossible. Anyway, lonely people are not bad people, it's probably just the way it has worked out but you will be able to change if you want to, just take one step / one day at a time. As Hellohellohello says, it would be helpful if you could mention why you are lonely and feeling lonely.
Hi
I agree with hello hello hello.
Lonely people are not bad people, it's just the path your life has taken. I like being alone but equally, I like meeting people. Do you have any hobbies that might allow you to meet with like minded people?
Maybe you have been hurt before and built a 'brick wall' around you so as not to allow people into your life.
It does take time to rebuild confidence but the first thing you can do is stop thinking about being lonely perhaps, just be who you are, be positive and I am sure you will gradually start making friends.
Hi there no lonely people are not bad people I myself get lonely at times, but I make myself go out and I always meet someone to talk to, join a group if you can or get in touch with Age Concern they have a befriending service that's free they come to your home or you can have a phone call from them and they talk to you it is all private and confidential, I listen to premier Christian radio it helps me as I need to relax and times but they also do a telephone service you can ring them and talk to them that also is free, life is a struggle at times and more so in the winter months im sure if you try some of my sugestions you will feel so much better , don't be afraid to take that step be strong and go for it , you will be so glad that you did. Take care and I hope your feeling less lonely soon.
I no how you feel I think being lonely and in pain it just leaves as throw no body listening to you I do hope you the best of luck with all that you do god bless you
I do think this is a big problem. More and more people are lonely and that includes people who live with others. We are becoming more isolated as individuals and a lot of that is to do with technology. People spend more time on their phones and tablets than they do connecting with other human beings. Most human connections now are limited to small talk or social oneupmanship. It is rare to really connect with another person at any deep level so we are all becoming a bit more lonely.
No, you are not bad. Did you know that the brain processes psychological pain in the same way that it processes physical pain? The two are intertwined.
Does your GP surgery have a social prescriber or a wellbeing coordinator or similar yet? This is being rolled out across the UK to deal with non-medical needs of patients. If you can, make an appointment with your social prescriber.
Rod
Have read all the replies to your post, I think mine is the tenth. Lots of good suggestions from lots of good people, and lots for you to think about.
Best Wishes
Jim
Oh sweetie! I know sometimes it just feels like your heart is hurting ! And that your all alone! Do you have anyone? I wish I could talk to you? I'm not sure if your allowed to post my phone number in here? Can anyone tell me? So I could speak to this lonely person! They need a human voice that cares!??? Please tell me as soon as possible???
Most people are lonely sometimes but it seems that with you it is constant. You have had a lot of useful replies already. You haven't said if you also have physical pain, because if so that is possibly a factor in your loneliness - especially if you struggle with mobility. As one response said, you can be lonely even in company, but it does help if you are able to find ways to mix with others. If you are able to get out there are almost always places where you can meet others. Sometimes it is lonelier in a large city than a smaller town, but unless you are completely housebound there will be ways of meeting people. A very good way of overcoming loneliness is to volunteer in some capacity. There are possibly help lines that you could volunteer on the even if you are unable to get out.
However, I am wondering if you are actually depressed. Especially since you ask if you are 'a bad person' if you are lonely. In this case it is important that you talk to your GP as they should be able to help you.
I hope you feel better soon and you can always contact us.
Jen
Dear Rod-S,
First of all, and MOST importantly...No you are not 'Posting' this in the wrong place! Your are, in fact, asking your friends (and we ALL are friends) for help. Other people, in some of the answers above, have already made suggestions. I have one more, though I don't know how practicable/possible it will be, for you-are there any Support/Social/'Chat and a Coffee'/Special Interest etc. groups in your area? I good friend or mine, some years ago now, had to 'Move'. She found herself Lonely/Isolated/Lost, for a 'time', slowly however, she began to find Social Groups. Now, when I Phone, I get the Answer Machine because she is out. Just another thought 'popped' in! Social Services/Hospitals even Churches do, very often, have 'Befriending', or 'Outreach' people-I know our Church does, worth a 'try'?
Sorry that I can't be any more help, to you, Rod.
AndrewT
Hi Andrew T.
May I say what a lovely email you have sent to Rod, I was in a very lonely place some years ago and thought people would think I was daft or take me the wrong way if I reached out to them, we all need someone at times weather its a chat, an email or a letter , we are only human after all.
I was very lucky I have a lovely family and without them and a befriending service I would not be in the place I am now, makes me realise now that people really care about me.
Hope you don't mind me emailing you , but your answer really touched me.
Take care and have a nice sunday evening.
hello Rod-S you may feel lonely but you are not alone. We hear your voice and reply back.I am here for you
Hi Rod-s
Is your loneliness something new and has happened so suddenly & unexpectedly that it's really hurting? Or are you talking about being lonely despite having company?
Although the same loneliness feelings are felt, the reasons are very different. Perhaps if you explain a little more we can help?
RJC x
Hello! Why are you so lonely or feel so lonely?
Hi its so sad to hear you are lonely I think anyone suffering pain has those feeling alot as the whole world can feel a lonely place as with pain it's happening to you alone but on here you can share those feeling with people hopefully having those exact same feeling and pain. I am new to this site and was so sad to read how you were feeling but honestly we have all been there and some still there please feel you can share on here and it may relief some of those lonely feeling you have a big hug sent your way.x
Hi Rod.
How are you feeling today hope you have had some thought about all the things people who have answerd your email have suggested you try including the one I sent you. Do try something stay positive if you can and I hope like me you are looking forwards to lighter longer days and nights , makes us all feel better, I had to make myself go out today for a walk then once I was out felt great met a few people to talk to saw some dogs off for walks and did some shopping had my lunch out taxi home and felt so much better for it all.
I will pray for you and please if you can do contact someone just to talk to they wont think you are stupid, no one is stupid .
Take care.
You do have some friends here, all of us who answer you are your friends. try to answer some of the emails as people could be worried about you .
I too am lonely which unfortunately can leads to varying degrees of depression. Whilst there are some excellent suggestions of ways to elevate your mood making the first step can be the hardest one of all, your GP is probably your best starting point just in case you need help in taking that first step, most these days have a vast arsenal of information that will last assist you,medically, professionally or literally I recommend you make the call, wait for an appointment and start your journey. Please let's us know via this forum of like minded friends how you get on? P
Isolation and loneliness is a strange thing in this massively interconnected world we live in. Twenty years ago I lived with my OH in a big city, had lots of friends and never felt lonely. We moved out to the sticks with our little boy when he was small. Gradually I just stopped going up to the city as I was too busy being a dad to my son. I just didn't see folk. I stopped going out. I stopped phoning pals to chat as I found myself being a busy dad. I don't have a mobile phone because there is no-one to call me. I am either at work or at home. I pretty much lost all my friends. It wasn't a conscious thing - it just happened. The gap was filled by love for my kid and I just didn't notice how alone I was getting.
Ten years ago, an awful death in the family followed by the arrival of a nasty lower back condition contributed to a crippling depression which seemed to feed on my loneliness and isolation. I am incredibly fortunate to have my son and my OH. Beyond them I have no-one I can call or go out for a drink with. Or talk to. They are my life and for that I feel blessed, for I know that many do not have that.
I have been kicking and fighting my way out of the depression for the last year or two. Maybe I will be able to make some new friends but it is a hard thing to do in later life. So Rod S, I can only suggest that you try to recognise that loneliness is mostly a result of other factors. Sometimes the subtle isolating effects of those different factors are almost un-noticeable to begin with but over time can become quite devastating on a personal level. I feel for you man.
Think my bladder is being affected by sciatica 
Being a parent with pain
Being strong...is it good enough?
