Pill Addict: I've been on painkiller for 2... - Pain Concern

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Pill Addict

eddymo profile image
33 Replies

I've been on painkiller for 25+ years. It started with a injured back from work. I was given Vicodone 5/300

I think and it got worse from there. From work I endured eight operations and more pills, just stronger, but never though of addiction till now. Always a though quit til I started snorting them. Three years ago I was diagnosed with Peripheral Neuropathy (alcohol related). My new doc changed me to oxycodone 5mg

and I complained it wasn't helping so she upped it to 20mg 240 each per month. One month I ran out one week early and she upped it again to 30mgs and told me to just cut them in half so not to run out.

So that is where I'm at now, wanting to quit, but how? Need help

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Diligent500 profile image
Diligent500

Hi to You,

I am NOT a Doctor so i cannot advise you accordingly please seek further help from Your Doctor they do have a right to help you here.

All the Best.

Diligent500

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to Diligent500

hi, thanks for your reply. I have made an appoint with my GP to discuss how to move forward. I'm a bit nervous about detoxing. It's been half of life taking painkillers, but I know it's the right thing to do. My wife worries that I will overdose cause I will that four or five (30mg) pills at one time.i also take Gabapentin (1200mg) three times daily. That I need for my Neuropathy. That

is another story, one problem that a time. I'll stay in touch. Eddie G.

spooner73 profile image
spooner73

Well I am not a doctor but I would maybe look into getting on methadone. That is what worked for me. I have been on methadone now for five years and I have my life back and out of pain!

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to spooner73

spooner73 hi

Do you then stay on Methadone the rest of my life? I've heard Methadone is also addicting. Is that true? If it is how do you get of that?

sianr profile image
sianr in reply to eddymo

Hi methadone for all it can help certain conditions and this is what is given to addicts to get them off of the drugs the were taking , it is very addictive .

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to sianr

thanks for info. That's what I though. I had friends back in high school that were strung out on heirion and what they were given

to detox. They would say to me ,it's harder to get off methadone.

What is the long term effect on your body ?. It must be better than oxycodone. Is there anything else ? Pls let me know if possible . Thanks for your interest in me trying to better my life at this stage of my life. Eddie G.

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1 in reply to eddymo

Methadone is very addictive and I overdosed once and nearly died. A girl in rehab with me did die from methadone overdose. In my opinion it's just swapping one drug for another. And it's dangerous.

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to Dexter1

Yea, that what I though. Gotta be something else.

Jay_86 profile image
Jay_86 in reply to eddymo

Have you asked about subutex also used for getting off painkillers/heroin faster than methodone but not as successful in most cases if you went on a methodone program once you were at the dose where you were comfortable the the doctor would start reducing that dose normally by 10% every three days that way the body doesn't notice the drop in dose avoiding withdrawal symptoms till you reduce to none at all

Bananas5 profile image
Bananas5

You have taken 2 very big steps here.

Firstyl admitting to yourself you have a problem.

Secondly reaching out and asking us for help.

Well done....now take it further.

I would think it is obvious you need pain relief so how to achieve this withhout taking too many pills.

My first point of call would be explain what you have said here to your GP. Are you geting any pain relief on the dose you are taking and just need something stronger or are you getting a 'buzz; from taking them?

People who need strong prescription drugs don't get the buzz that say, man in street would get. Opiates etc go to the point they are needed eg the painn.

This sounds long winded and I'm sorry - I can't write it shorter.

There are drug and alcohol clinics, a few still left, and helplines you can call but ask your GP first.

Hope this helps

Pat x

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to Bananas5

hello Patton. Yes I do need the meds, but not as many as I get. Now it's hard to go back to my GP and tell him I don't need as many as prescribed. If I then need more I might not get them. Plus now I'm,.....how do I put it, I'm

ADDICTED to them. Damn it. It pisses me off. Six months ago I'd swear I could quit. I bet my doctor I could. He just ignored me. My wife was hiding the bottle and giving me three daily, but I kept finding the bottle and stealing extras, so now she gave me back the bottle and won't help me. My

loss. If I go back to my GP and said I needed help cause I felt I was geting ad-

dicted, he just cut me off and send me to a clinic or something. If they think

they made a mistake they would worry about getting sued and losing their license. If I consulted my pharmacist, he'd probably call my GP and I'm back at square one. I'll try it myself. I quit drinking after forty plus years so I'll give it a go. If I can't ,I will go get help. Promise Eddie G. Thank for your interest

in helping me get better.

Bananas5 profile image
Bananas5 in reply to eddymo

Its called caring about others who ask for help Eddie. You have done that by writing on here about you problems.

As with any addictions - yes there is help out there but YOU are the one who has to want to give up. Others telling you drink, smoke too much is of no help. And there is no substitute for alcohol unlike smoking or meds. Taking meds away and giving when required can work but only if you want it to. Like hiding alcohol.... it can always be ffound.

So yes you have made that first step in recognising you have a problem but plase will you find some support and advice? Coming off addictive meds can be dangerous with side effects. It should be done slowly and with some alternative for your pain. If not each time you need an extra for your pain you could be back to square one. Don't forget your body has gotten used to having that amont in its self now.

There are very few rehab centres now so maybe a phone call to establish content? It does worry me you want to try 'go it alone'.

Will you keep in touch? Message me if you'd rather.

In friendship

Pat x

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1 in reply to eddymo

I tried the spouse handing out my pills to me also but did the same as you. Tried then going to my GP and telling him everything at which point he promptly fired me as his patient and cut me off. Ended up having to go to rehab to save my marriage. Frankly, I don't think the rehAb had anything to do with MY recovery. It was the worst 30 days of my life. I was in pain, my anxiety was out of control because they also took my clonazapam away and I couldn't sleep. On top of that we're the withdrawels I had and they wouldn't give me anything. What truly helped me was finding my pain specialist who is a kind, caring, wonderful human being who helped me get on a regime I could handle and wanted to please him. He did drug tests and I passed them all. Actually he was only half of my recovery- the other half was my sweet, loving husband who told me he was divorcing me because he couldn't watch me kill myself anymore.

Long story with happy ending though! Married 33 years this year and I we are both super happy.

None of this gives you the answer but just know we addicts have all been through the same story and have a bond. Do you have Narcotics Anonymous meetings there? I always loved going to those and lots of support.

Harrison27 profile image
Harrison27

Hello. Please go to your GP and ask to be referred to the Drug and Alcohol therapy unit. Through no fault of his own my younger brother ended up addicted to Codeine (a GP had prescribed him two different pills both with maximum dos wage of codeine and yes he was naive at 19 years old and just followed what the GP told him). He was on that for 2 years until a pharmacist picked up the mistake. Instead of weaning him off gently, the GP just stopped all my brothers tablets - this sent him into massive withdrawal- one of the symptoms of codeine withdral is severe pain - my brother the secretly started to self medicate with OTC nurofen, then onto nurofen plus. We now know that my brother was so naive to it all that he thought that you just kept taking tablets until the pain went away. Over the course of about 3 years he had gone on to taking 3-4 boxes of Nurofen plus a day, it all came to light when he suffered a perforated ulcer which caused septicaemia- he was very very ill, went from17 stones down to 7. Methadone was what got him off the Codeine and he was free of the drug for about 5 years or more. At that point our Dad passed away and over time my brother suffered depression and started to drink (he never drunk before this), he was drinking in secret last thing at night to help him sleep - basically "downing" alcohol right before bed - he admitted he had been doing this for about 3 years, not a lot compared to some people with alcohol issues (about a litre of cider most days) - but this was too much for him on already very scarred liver and at 28 his liver basically shut down and he passed away.

There have been many many regrets and feelings of guilt in the family - how did we not notice that he had started to drink - he lived 250+ miles away so seeing him was not always easy or often. A young life sadly wasted - he was such a lovely guy, innocent and naive, but all the years of codeine, nurofen and laterally alcohol was too much for his liver to cope with.

My advice though is that methadone worked when he took it, he got "clean" for many years, but i think for yourself, it will need to be a lifetime commitment to get off both pills and alcohol and once you are free of both, please seek further help if you start to suffer down the line. If my brother had done that then he would have been with us today.

(Apologies for referring to my brother as "he" throughout but I just wanted to keep a little anonymity throughout)

Please seek help and remember there are groups like "us" on here who are always willing to lend an ear.

Peggy76 profile image
Peggy76

Hi Charles.

So sorry for the loss of your brother. & it's very good of you to share his suffering with the public as it may help others to read of it hopefully.

Keep well

Regards

Peggy 🙏🏻

annietap40 profile image
annietap40 in reply to Peggy76

Thank you Charles for telling this story....I am sure the information will come in very useful should I come across anybody else in the sad situation your dear brother found himself in. The dr who took him off cold turkey his medication should have been sued IMO.....

johnsmith profile image
johnsmith

april.org.uk/main/index.php...

This has some articles on withdraweral effects. THis is something that you need to discuss with a pharmacist. GP will not know the answer.

The APRIL charity may be able to refer you to people who could be helpful for your situation.

dsru.org/

Drug Safety Research Unit website

Hope this helps

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to johnsmith

johnsmith, why my pharmacist ? I find him very rude. What makes him better to talk to and get advise on withdrawling than my GP ? Wouldn't my GP better getting a referral to a clinic or a counseling group ? I'm Just interested in know why. I've heard that before. Not trying to be defensive or

rude, just want to know. I will check out the website you directed me to. I live in the U.S. A. so I will see if they are near me. Thanks for the advise. Eddie G.

johnsmith profile image
johnsmith in reply to eddymo

There is no requirement in law for a GP to know anything about drug side effects. Many GP do not study drugs and their side effects. A pharmacist has. A pharmacist is required by law to know about drug side effects and how to use drugs.

If you cannot get on with your local pharmacist find another one. A The General Pharmaceutical Council (GPhC) is the regulatory body for pharmacists, pharmacy technicians and pharmacy premises.

pharmacyregulation.org/

Standards for registered pharmacies

We have grouped the standards under five principles.

The principles are the backbone of our regulatory approach

and are all equally important.

The principles

Principle 1: The governance arrangements safeguard the

health, safety and wellbeing of patients and the public.

Principle 2: Staff are empowered and competent to safeguard

the health, safety and wellbeing of patients and the public.

Principle 3: The environment and condition of the premises

from which pharmacy services are provided, and any

associated premises, safeguard the health, safety and

wellbeing of patients and the public.

Principle 4: The way in which pharmacy services, including

the management of medicines and medical devices, are

delivered safeguards the health, safety and wellbeing of

patients and the public.

Principle 5: The equipment and facilities used in the provision

of pharmacy services safeguard the health, safety and wellbeing

of patients and the public.

Hope this helps.

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to johnsmith

Thanks much. That explains it. Funny, I though the GP would know. I just assumed. Thanks again. The story of your brother is a sad story. The pharmacist should have their liscence revolked

That is what I'm afraid of. I would me f_ cked. After all these years

it may kill me, I don't know and I don't want to find out the hard

way. If your brother had someone to call / lean on when times are tuff. I know for me I'll start cutting back tomorrow. Tomorrow

just never comes like this morning. Monday, I'll try again

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1 in reply to eddymo

I also wondered why a pharmacist? They don't have control over how many you take or get, GP does. I guess the difference in my posts and the others may be an addict versus a non-addict. You're saying you're feeling like taking some of your pills right now, probably because your anxious, is so familiar to me. That's why it's hard to do on your own. I think your best bet is N.A. Or A.A.

eddymo profile image
eddymo

Dan9878 I jut replied to spooder73 about Methadone being very addictive

and having a addictive personality, it would be going to another problem

unless methadone is better than what I'm doing. I just quit drinking three years ago after 40+ years of that. And I DON'T want to start that again. And

morphine is the same as oxycodone, subutex I don't know. I was going to talk to my GP, but was advise to go to my pharmacist and talk to him. But after reading the story of Charles2703 about the pharmacist cutting his brother off his meds, had to go cold turkey, scares the hell out of me. What to do? I'll go to me GP and and hope he can advise me in the right direct. See now I'm getting the urge to that some oxy. I toke ten ( 10) 30mg today in four hours and only needed two. If I could just take what I needed, it would me fine. I just know that just won't happen.

eddymo profile image
eddymo

Dexter1, Do you speak from personal experience, if I may ask ? I can always give it a try, but I'd have to be honest with myself. It wouldn't be easy and it would nice to have someone to help me thru the temping times. I'll stay in touch of my progress good or

bad. thanks for the info. Eddie

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1 in reply to eddymo

Yes, yes, yes. Unfortunately speaking from experience with everything I've said. I do know how an addicts mind think! To be one is to know one. Pm me anytime you need some support. Please! And did you check on NA meetings?

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1

Non- addicts would always tell me "just take the right amount and you wouldn't have these problems!". If only it was that easy. And when it's a mixture of pain and addiction people don't understand that you can't just quit taking the drugs because the pain is too bad. Sometimes I would take 1-2 like it said but if I didn't get relief soon I'd take another 2 and so on until like you I'd taken 10 in 4 hours. Then inevitably I'd run out early and have to endure terrible withdrawels because in US the won't refill them early. It's a terribly merry go round that won't let you off. It can be done, though, but it has to be your decision and you can't do it in secret because when we're accountable only to ourselves, we cheat.

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to Dexter1

nothing more terrifying than running out of meds. I've bought them from people I know or people they know. Gets expensive. Since I've tried to cut

back it's been a failure. Once I take one in the morning I can't stop. I will give it two weeks or til my next prescription. Then I'll decide. But no way I can quit. My legs among other things hurt bad. When I work, if I can, I can do four hours. Got Neuropathy in my feet, arthrithus in my knees and Baker Cyst behind behind them. Like bursithus. I'm crippled. Really, what can I do.

I'm usin a cane to go up and down stairs, embaracing.

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1 in reply to eddymo

Been there done that but not anymore so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes though you have to hit rock bottom before you can begin to climb out. I feel for you, I wish I could help but it's going to be up to you and a good Dr. Here's what I recommend, do your best to stick to your prescribed amount until your next appointment but don't beat yourself up if you can't. Try to remember how bad withdrawels make you feel before you take an extra one. And most importantly, try to get your Dr. To switch you to a pain patch so that it's less easy to mess with dose. Keep me informed. You never answered if they have Narcotic Anonymous meetings near you. That would be sooo helpful. Text me every time you feel out of control if you need to. I check my phone every morning.

You Can Do It!

P.s. What all are you prescribed right now? Maybe I can give you some suggestions on what to ask your Dr. for.

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1

make it clear to your Dr. you're in trouble and that you want to be helped but know that you will continue to need meds for pain. She should be able to give you options. Oxycodone is not a great choice and you're on a lot of them. Read up on Butrans Patch, Fentanyl Patch and Transtec Patch.

eddymo profile image
eddymo

thanks Dexter1, I need someone who understands what a addict goes through. My wife, who I love deeply just doesn't understand. She really believes you just don't take one. I try to explain to her my depression. What makes me take them, and why I need them, and why I'm afraid to go to my doctor and have him have my life in his hands. I have a lot of confusion in my life. Right now I am taking oxycodone 30mg 240 a month,

gabapentin 1200mg 3x daily, for my neuropathy, and some stuff for my arthritis. I was taking Lorazapam for years for anxieties , but just found out last year that it causes

loss of recall, can't remember things. I haven't look into NA or anything, I'm trying to do it on my own and honestly, not doing good. But I have to try it myself. It would be a boost for my depression. I quit drinking and smoking so we'll see. I'll stay intouch

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1

Eddymo,

You just have to trust me on this one, NA is a small group, usually, of people just like you and I that are recovering or struggling both. They ALL will know exactly how you feel. There's no one there that isn't struggling with drugs and it's completely anonymous. It will make you feel good because you're not alone and no one there is going to hurt you in any way. No Dr.'s or pharmacists or rehab workers. Just you and some other addicts giving each other support and making us feel not so alone. Please consider it.

If I was there I'd go with but you'll make friends easily. Go!😊

eddymo profile image
eddymo

I don't think I can get morphine here in USA for my addiction. Proboley

methadone.

Dexter1 profile image
Dexter1

How's it going?  Haven't heard from you lately?

eddymo profile image
eddymo in reply to Dexter1

Hi Dexter, sorry it took me so long to write back. I'm doing ok. Ok in the sence that I got my  problem with pills under control, for now anyhow. I have to admit you are right, couldn't do it myself. They are like that old potato chip commercial "bet you can't eat one". Like candy. But it's not the taking the pills normally, it's the snorting it that got me hooked. And I mean hooked. My wife is helping me again. See how long I can keep from hunting them down. Problem I took so long to get back I've been depressed. I go through this feeling of being useless. Can't much work around the house or on my rentals. I got to call for help, and I'm not good that it. The ackes and pains are killing me, physically and mentally. I need the pills, just got to keep them under control. Somehow.  How you doing? Sounds like you have a set of problems yourself. Write me.

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