Pain Concern Carer Community

How to help my sister confront her pain

My sister has quite a stubborn temper - she has fibromyalgia and tends to suffer in silence. She rarely mentions how in pain she is, but it's obvious from the look on her face. I've been researching a few treatments and exercises that might help her, but I'm not sure how to bring them up without causing an argument. Any help much appreciated!

4 Replies

Hi, maybe if you mentioned first that you don't know how your sister manages to cope in the situation she is in, explain that you would like to help and ask if she would mind if you looked into finding ways to help her deal with it. See how she responds and then if she is ok about that, wait a few days and bring out the information you have found. It is very difficult to intrude when a person is going through chronic pain. We all spend half our lives trying to deal with the pain and then have the issue of putting on another face to our friends and families.

Well done you for making the effort. Hang in there and I am sure you will be able to help your sister.

Let us know how it goes. Ann


You have to start where she is. How many treatments has she already tried and not found to work.

You have to learn to walk the talk. Do the exercises yourself and see how they benefit you. That is the starting point, otherwise it is just theory.

Two main helpful regimes are Alexander Technique and Mindfulness. Practise these and if you find them them effective for yourself then the opportunity will arise for you to talk about them with your sister.

Hope this helps.


Can you bookmark the pages on her preferred internet browsing device? Or are there any that are activities that you can do together?


Thank you all for the advice - it's been really helpful. I've tried putting myself in my sister's shoes more often and it's really helped both of us. I've managed to introduce her to the Alexander technique and it's made a big difference :)