Hi all. My name is karen but you can call me Kaz. the reason why I am writing this today is because I need to chat to people who are in the same boat as me. I do not have ovarian cancer and I pray that I stay that way but I did lose my beautiful mam on the 17th october 2012 from Ovarian cancer. she battled with it for 2 years and 9 months and I am so sad , lonely, heartbroken & struggling each day without her. I also lost my sister 15 years ago to Leukaemia & I feel so robbed of them both. I do still have a sister, brother and my dad. I am also Married with 2 children whom I believe have kept me going through the last few months. Mam was admitted to hospital on the 14th septemeber & on the 20th, we were told he she had max 3-6 days to live. shocked, angry and hurt, devastated are all the words I can use. Mam battled on and lived for 33 days and although that time was precious, it was so sad to think that my mam would not be coming home well again. On the 18th october, we took mam home one more time and waked her in your own home for two days. On the 20th october, we laid her to rest with her beautiful daughter ( my sister). I am looking to chat to people who might have experienced the same sorrow that I am feeling, also to hear stories of people who have battled this awful disease and come out the other end with happy endings. Maybe if anyone would liek to chat, I am here and I would love nothing more. Life is so loney without my mam and everythign has changed. she was truly a beautiful, caring, compassionate lady and I idolised the ground she walked on, this is why its so hard to let her go and to not miss her. I chat to her everyday and tell her I love her everyday so she will always know that. thanks so much for reading my blog. kaz
A daughter lost without her beautiful mam. - My Ovacome
A daughter lost without her beautiful mam.
Dear kaz,
What an awful shock it must have been for you all, you barely had time to cope with the shock of diagnoses before you were experiencing such grief. I am so sorry.
You will never stop missing your Mother but the raw pain you are feeling now will dull, and you will remember the wonderful happy times you had together more than the sad. You will laugh again at those memories and yes you will feel sad and have some tears and that is natural
You seem to have had awonderful relationship with your Mother and I am sure she cherished that.
As a daughter I lost my Mother to old age almost 6years agoto the day and not many days go by when I don't think of her. We laugh at the escapades she got up to, and long to share some of the happenings of the day. I've often wept for her as a child for her mother when I've needed her too. But then present day takes over and life does go on
As a Mother who has ovarian cancer and know what the outcome will be, I hope that my Boys will remember me with love but go on happily with their lives. I love them too much to think I'll cause too pain.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve.
I'm sure you will get a lot more support from this site too. We are always here for the family as well as each other. Sort of like one big loving family which understands
With love and gentle hugs Suex
Hi Sue, thank you so much for your lovely message. I am so sorry to hear you have ovarian cancer and I honestly and genuinely wish you the best of luck with getting through it all. I would love to hear that you are one of the successful patients and you come through it all ok. I am sure your boys love you to the ends of the earth, like I did and do my mam. I know for me time is a good healer but like you said with your own mam, there are times when I really need to tell her things and she is not there in front of me so I talk to her anyways.chatting to people like you will really help and I so appreciate the time you ahve given me. I am fromDublin and it is so nice to think that I am chatting to people across the irish sea. I will most definitley keep in touch with you and thank you once again. xxkaz
Oh Kaz, there's nothing we can do to lighten your load, it's all so unfair , isn't it? All we can do is offer friendship and a little understanding. You know, I am sure, that your Mam would want you to carry on and really enjoy your life with your family. You are blessed in that way. Her love is still there for you, I am sure. I also feel that, somehow, our loved ones know what we're feeling, so hang on to the love. Have you had any counselling? You have had major bereavements and maybe need some talking time to help you to move on with your life. It can really help. Also, it may be a good idea to talk to your GP about a check on your own health. When I was first diagnosed, my Mum and sister were given an option to have a blood test, I don't know if they still do this? You could ask at your surgery.
Anyway, sending you love and a cyberhug ((((xxxx)))) 
Love Wendy xx
hi wendy. thank you so mush for your lovely message and kind words. I hope you are doing okay and your treatment is going ok for you. I do plan to go and get a good health check done over the coming weeks just to mind myself etc... Comign into work this mornign and checking my emails and then seeing all the replies I had made me feel so nice as I was having a shitty morning. Just feeling down over my mam and wanting her so much. I will most definitely keep in touch with you and I wish you the very best. sending you a big hun from across the Irish Sea. xx kaz
I have found that each day that goes by is a step nearer to thinking of your Mam with a more of a smile and less of a tear. She will have left you with many, many happy memories and they will be there forever
Let us know how you are
Love W xx
Hi wendy, I have not been on this for a while. How are you keeping. Hope all is going okay for you. xxxx
Woah! How weird is that. I just opened my computer, it's my Birthday and Gwyn has written me a lovely poem. AND....there was your message. I'm doing fine thanks. How are things with you? I hope that things are getting a bit less stressful and that you and your family are well. You'll never get used to it completely but I hope that more smiles than tears are coming with your memories of your lovely Mam now (((xxx)))
Love Wendy xx
Ah A very happy birthday to you, hope you had a lovely day. we are all taking one day at a time really, some days are easier then others. I suppose I will never except what happened, just learn to live with it. My two children keep me going and give me reason to smile and of course the memories of my mam definitely give me reason to smile too. I am so glad you are doing good. will keep in touch with you. take care hun. xxxx
Dear Kaz
Just reading your story has brought tears to my eyes. I like you do not have OC and continuously touch wood and hope that I do not get it. My Mum was diagnosed in June 2011 and has recently been diagnosed with her 3rd recurrance....was due to start treatment today but its had to be postponed 2 wks as a tablet she was taking can't be taken on this new trial shes being put on.
Feel totally gutted for her as every day without the new treatment could prove fatal. My Mum and I are so close and I'm so scared of losing her and what my life would be like without her in it.... I try not to dwell on these thoughts and remain as positive as possible but its so hard!
No one can take your wonderfull memories away from you so you keep thinking of her and she'll keep you stong - u and I and others like us will get through this!
Love from
Emma x
Hi Emma. Thank you so much for your lovely message. I am so sorry to hear about your mam Emma. God she sounds like an amazing lady and her fight is amazing. you are so right to stay positive and try and not think about anything else. i had so much positivity with my mam and I believed she could win this battle but to be fair to her, mam was caught too late really and never really stood a chance I dont think. she battled on with her treatments and yes we got great results in relation to the tumour being dormant etc.. but it was other things that were happening that we didnt know about that caused the heartache in the end for mam and for us all. I cherish the memories I have of her, the photos and eveyrthing else that reminds me of my mam. you are so right hun, we will get through this and talking to people like you will really help, so I will will be here for you too. Please pass on my best wishes to your mam, i know she doesnt know me but I am thinking of her. look after yourself and your mam and I will chat soon. sending you big hugs from across the irish sea. Kazxx
Hi Kaz,
We all need shoulders to lean on and words of comfort from others. This site has given me comfort and hope for my Mum. Such brave wonderful ladies!
Please feel free to Inbox me privately anytime. As some of the other ladies have said councelling can really help. I have had councelling in the past for other reasons but am on the waiting list to begin again to help me through this worrying time. It does help to deal with someone impartial too.
Thinking of you!
Emma x
Losing your mother is so tough. Mine died very suddenly when she was just 61, over 30 years ago and I still feel I was robbed of at least two decades of her love and wise counsel. But she's still my role model and I'm sure yours will always be the same for you. I hope you have all the love and support you need as you go through the grieving process. Be as kind to yourself as you can be and don't set the fences too high. The pain will ease in time.
Very best wishes
Linda xx
hi linda. thank you so much for your lovely reply, So sorry to hear about your mam , no matter how many years have gone by. Please god time is agood healer for me as I feel somedays I cant even breath with the pain I feel for the loss of my mam. many thanks again. kazxx
Dear Kaz
Bereavement is very hard to bear in these early days after your mother's death. You are still in shock at what has happened and struggling to cope with your profound sense of loss. I would stress that it is a very short time since all this happened and you must not expect too much of yourself.
Losing someone who is so close to you is very bewildering as nothing feels quite real. Some people might say to you that "you will get over it" but I do not think that this is the way forward. Eventually, in the fullness of time, you will come to terms with the situation but you will never forget. On the contrary, your close loving relationship with your mother will stay with you forever and eventually you will draw strength from having experienced such a precious bond,
no doubt feeling that your mother will always be with you through good times and bad. Hold on to your good memories and in years to come, you will find that these memories are comforting and reassuring. You are right to carry on chatting to her. She will always be a strong presence in your life.
There are indeed happier endings to a diagnosis of ovarian cancer but it is a struggle for all those women who have faced this disease. Until fairly recent times ovarian cancer was labelled as "the silent killer". However, the voices of those women who have campaigned for greater awareness of this disease are finally being heard. More is being done than ever before and there is tangible hope that the prognosis for many of us is improving. In a strange way, adversity has made many of us stronger and given us a different perspective on life.
Take care
Isabelle
Hi isabelle. many thanks for your lovely message and reply. you are so right in everything you say, I do need to take my time with the grieve, its just so hard when everyone around me is acting normal and doing normal things. Sometime I think poeple in work dont understand why I still cry somedays, I think i will cry for the rest of my life. I will take my time though and like you said continue to chat to my mam as I already do. Please god a cure will be found for ovarian cancer. how wonderful would that be for lots of women out there. will keep in touch with you and thank you once again for your lovely message and kind words of encouragement. will keep in touch with you if that is ok. Many thanks. kazxx
dear Kaz imagine your mum is in the next room, she is only in another room you cant see her but shes there with you only a thought away I still talk to my mum and dad even though not here any more, I really believe in life after death and had many odd things happened when my mum died that could not be explained even my sceptic husband had to admit to odd goings on think of your mum and sister being together and happy, and one day we will all meet again.chin up live your life and try to be happy xxx
Hi Jenny. thank you so mcuh for your lovely message. Yeah you are right with saying that my mam is only in the next room, I feel her with me all the time and like you I have had experiences of things happening since my mam passed away. I do think of my mam and sister together now and the type of reunion they would have had. So I do get some consolation from this totally. I suppose I would never had been ready to let my mam go and I am sad that she is gone from my sight now. In time I will get stringer and I really want to be happy again and carry on as I have 2 children who need me so much. many thanks and I will keep in touch., kazxx
Dearest Kaz
I still cry at times for the loss of my Dad to a brain tumour 8 years ago, we were very close and I still go to call him when I want to know how to wall paper the spare room or sort out my car and he died 8 years ago! I chat to him though and like Jenny above I am a strong believer in life after death and the power of that and the comfort it brings me and my sister. I am now in my own battle against OC but I am not scared for myself but sad for those I may have to leave behind before I am ready, are we ever ready?
The sadness does not go but the good memories and fun and advice don't go either and in time the latter takes over, you will be sad it would be strange if you were not and I hope that we can all offer you a hug and let you know that your mum will still be with you, so carry on talking to her and include her I your life and enjoy your family knowing that she will see you and be with you whenever you need her to be.
Much love Amanda xx
Hi amanda. many thanks for your kind words and lovely message. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. it never matters how many years go by especially when you have so much love for them. I am so sorry to hear that you are battling Ovarian Cancer and I really do wish you well and please god you will come out of this okay and liove life to the full. thnak you for the hug and the kind words. I was having a shitty mornign and then I opened up the emails I had got and it really helped me but I am also shocked to see how many ladies are battling OC. I will include you all in my candle lighting which I do every wednesday. I do believe in life after deathnand I do firmly believe that my mam is with me all the time and her little messages she leaves for me do help me so much. she really was simply the best and will always be to me. Many thanks again amanda. xx
I'm so very very sad for your loss! I am a young mother with 5 little kids and I have stage 3 ovarian cancer... I wish there was a support group like OVACOME that was JUST for women with OC. I find it so very distressing and painful to keep receiving messages about women dying from what I have.... I'm so sorry to say this here. I hope everyone understands. I'm thinking of leaving all the support groups because there are just too many postings about deaths and it's so difficult for me to deal with.
Sending you warmest hugs and thoughts. I'm so sorry about each and every person who is left behind... by ovarian cancer. Believe me - it's hard for me too.
XOXO
hi erixka. I am so sorry if I upset you in any way. I cant even understand how you must be feeling and I am so sorry to hear that you have Ovarian cancer. I just know from my mams battle how hard it was for her so in saying this , I can understand a little. I really wish you all the love and hugs and I hope you can get as much support as you can. kazxx
I'm so sorry too...
I wish I could reach out and give you a real hug. Sometimes I feel like WONDER WOMAN and other days... when reality hits... I feel like a fragile being ready to crumple. It's a very difficult disease to beat but I hope I'll be lucky!
I'm so sad that you lost your mother. I can only imagine.... I hope there's a cure for OC soon!!!
XOXO,
Erika
Hi Erixka. I just wanted you to know that things are getting better and the research into Ovarian cancer is improving at a good rate. I understand why you are sad and when you hear about people dying it affects the way we feel because we have this disease. It must be hard when you are young and have children, all i can say is stay strong and remember there are often funny and up lifting stories on this site.
Lucy x
Thank you Lucy! I really appreciate your message
As a patient seeking support during my own ovarian cancer crisis, treatment and journey I seek comfort in a group like this own and feel that there's a high degree of sensitivity required to make the group an appropriate support system.
I think Ovacome could really help all of us by offering a separate group for caregivers, family members, and people grieving losses. Women who are going thru treatment for ovarian cancer need support for what we are going through and many of us don't have the strength to support those who are grieving deaths of our own illnesses... It would be a huge kindness to separate the two groups in my very humble opinion.
Of course my heart goes out to the families who have suffered losses... I wish I could heal the world.
XOXO,
Erika
Thank you for that Kaz and for lighting a candle tomorrow.
Hope your day gets better at least the sun is shining here.
Xxxxx
Hi Kaz,
I am so sorry about the loss of your mam, grief isn't easy and will never go away, but will get easier to live with, I know that Ireland (like Scotland and Wales) hasn't got a very good success rate and England is slightly better, ovarian cancer in general hasn't got a good success rate because of lack of awareness people find it too late, there is no screening for ovarian cancer at the moment, but if you go to the Ovacome website you will find details of the early symptoms there and perhaps when you feel a little better, you might be able to raise awareness about ovarian cancer as a legacy to your mam, sometimes helping others often gives you a sense of purpose, and helps with the grieving process.
Most of us on this site have had or got OC some like myself have had a recurrence of OC so it is then deemed as incurable... but if caught early enough the first time there is a much better chance of survival...we are all grieving at the moment.. as we recently lost a dear friend on this site...
I do hope you get the support that you need sending you my love and prayers x G x
Kaz, I am in tears reading your letter and all the comments and replies and can only say as an OC grade 3c with three beautiful grown up children that I hope and wish that they say all the things to me that they feel right now before it is too late. I am sure you did this Kaz.
I am being completely honest and emotionally truthful with them, I think it is so important not to have any unsaid feelings hanging around as you will then be left with regrets.
I feel I will be letting my children down if I leave them before I have the time to see their children grow, I want to be there to support them but time is definitely not on my side.
However I know I have been blessed to at least see them into adulthood, so I am grateful for that at least.
Having said all this I am fighting to stay fit and as well as I possibly can, so not about to give up.
Love to all xxxxx
Hi there. many many thnaks for your lovely message and kind words. God I am so sorry to hear that you have Ovarian cancer, god it is so hard on you and the other ladies who have replied to me. Like you said it is important to have no regrets, I said and did everything for my mam especially in the last 4 weeks of her life, she used to always say to me that we were joined at the hip and indeed we were. like you my mam was so happy to see us all grown up, married and she saw 3 grandchildren, i know she wasnt scared of leaving us although she didnt want to go but because her eldest daughter was waiting for her, this gave my mam some feeling of safety through it all. i wish for my mam and for you all that a cure could be found and all of you could breath a sigh of relief. I ask this everyday, it was to late for my mam but please god a family like you and others could be saved the same pain we are feeling right now. I sincerely wish you the best of luck with it all and i pray you continue to stay fit and positive as you come across in your lovely message to me. please keep in touch as i will and love to you all too. xxxx
Dear Kaz,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and understand how you are feeling.
I lost my mum ten years ago, she had ovarian cancer and died within a month of diagnosis, from an embolism. I miss her terribly, and more so since my own diagnosis. Happily I am responding well to treatment and have a much better prognosis than my mother ever did.
What I wanted to say is that for many years I found it difficult to grieve, as I worried I would be too overwhelmed with grief, so I bottled my emotions. Then when I was diagnosed last year it brought all the grief back. I had a few counselling sessions which have really helped me come to terms with her loss, and I would strongly encourage you to think about this for yourself. This site is wonderful and supportive, and I am sure everyone on here will do what they can to support you,, but it also helps to speak to somebody impartial on a one to one basis if you feel you are able to do so,
Sending you love and hugs
Jan
X
hi jan. thank you so much for your lovely reply, it means so much to me and I am so sorry you lost your mam 10 years ago, i bet for you it only feels like yesterday. I am also sorry to hear that you have ovarian cancer to. i really do wish you all the best with this and I am sure you are remaining very positive about it all. I am so happy for you that you are responding well to treatment too, long may it continue for you. I am so overwhelmed by the support I have received over the last 24 hours from so many people. it has really given me a lift today. losing my mam has been so hard and I just miss her so much, i am 41 years of age and I feel like a baby sometimes with the amount of tears I have shed for her and the feeling of complete devastation. I will think about conselling over the next few weeks. Wakig up each day knowing that I have to get through another day without her is so unbearable sometimes. please god in time it will get easier, just never thought I would lose my mam. I wish 3 years ago that I had of known more about ovarian cancer when mam was first diagnosed. its all ifs, butts and wishing now. thank you once again for taking the time to reply to me. I will include you in my candle lighting which I do every wedensday to my mam and my sister. take care of yourself and indeed love & hugs straight back to you. xxxx
Hi Kaz
I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I lost my mum to ovarian cancer 10 years ago, and never a day goes by I don't think about her. She was diagnosed in June 2002 and passed away in the July. At first that loss is so raw it's physically painful. No one loves us like our mum does, it's totally unconditional. It will get easier but it does take time. I still chat to my mum especially at the end of the day. I have my own battle to fight now as I was diagnosed with Primary Peritoneal in December 2011. It's treated exactly the same as ovarian, and I will be starting chemo for a recurrence soon. My own mum was so brave and I try hard to be the same. I have 2 grown up daughters, so I fear for them, but we are going for counselling later in the month to see if I have the mutant gene that causes it.
Someone is always here if you want a chat. You will have bad days and better days and gradually the better days become more.
Take good care of yourself.
Love and hugs Linda xx
hi linda. thank you so much for your lovely reply . I am so overwhelmed with the response i got to my posting. god I am so sorry to hear about your mam, ten years is nothing really whe you have loved someone so much. you are right though, a mams love is unconditional. I am so sorry to alos hear thta you are not well and battling your own illness, i hope and pray that you will get through this. its heartbreaking to see so many women sick with your illness or ovarian cancer. god I hope they find a cure one day. Like you i talk to my mam everyday and if I am cooking her favourite dish for dinner, i tell her so. I suppose I would give anything to see her now but I know I would not let her go again. please god you dont have the mutant gene and your two daughters will be okay and safe. its nice to know that if I fancy a chat , there is always someone at the other end. I wish you so much good luck and well wishes from the bottom of my heart and please god we can keep in touch. thank you for taking the time to reply to me, really appreciate it so much.
take care of yourself also.
Love & hugs
kazxxxx
My nearly 10 year old daughter wrote this tonight on my laptop...
Dear mum,
I love you beyond compare.
I know I would be lost without you
You are my Fairy and I am your Munchkin!!
Love from all my heart
***** xx
When I was diagnosed, I know I wanted to get enought years in, so that I could get the memories in, after only one year, Im happy ...daughters are amazing
You are...and your mam...she'd be so proud having you following behind her x
hi Sammy. How beautiful is that from your daughter. Please god you will have many more years to make many more memories with your daughter and Family. I myself have 15 year old daughter and I am truly blessed with her.my little boy is 8 and he keeps me going, makes me laugh and keeps me sane. Thanks for your reply. Best of luck with everything. Will keep you in my prayers too. xxxx
My nearly 10 year old daughter wrote this tonight on my laptop...
Dear mum,
I love you beyond compare.
I know I would be lost without you
You are my Fairy and I am your Munchkin!!
Love from all my heart
***** xx
When I was diagnosed, I know I wanted to get enought years in, so that I could get the memories in, after only one year, Im happy ...daughters are amazing
You are...and your mam...she'd be so proud having you following behind her x
Hi Kaz I lost my mum in October last year and she was the grand old age of 91 years. I have ovarian and womb cancer and am doing very well. When I read your post it reminded me that I didn't tell my mum i had cancer because I thought she would be too upset. I know she is looking down now and feel she probably knows. I have had so much help from this site over the years and welcome you to share all our experiences good and bad they make up our journey through life. I send you all our love at this sad time and know you will get through. Take care,
Lucy x
Hi Lucy. many thanks for your message, you are so good. I am sorry to hear about your mam's passing. 91 is a great age but I am sure you still miss her so much. My mam was 2 months off her 71st birthday but she only looked about 60 even when she was ill. I am so sorry to hear you have ovarian & womb cancer but so glad to hear you are doing very well, long may it continue for you, I really wish you all the best with it. you sound so positive which is half the battle. since I posted my message up the other day, I have received overwhelming support from so many people and I am so grateful. I miss my mam so much, the pain is unbearable somedays. she truly was a great person and the love I felt for her will go on forever. thank you for your support and I will keep in touch with little messages here and there just to make sure you are doing ok. take care. karen xxxx
Hi Kaz so sorry for your loss reading your message brought tears to my eyes.It reminded me very much how I felt when I lost my mum,she didnt have oc but just went to bed seven years ago and never woke up and sometimes it only seems loke yesterday.It does get easier you just learn to cope better.Recently I was diagnosed with oc but i am so lucky that it was found in the early stages I so believe that my mum was with me every step of the way .I suppose what I am trying to say is that although we can no longer see,hear or touch them they are still beside us guiding us along lifes rocky road and looking out for us but in a different way ,memories are very special and will always keep your mum close take care love and hugs Debbie xxx
Hi debbie. Thank you so much for your lovely reply. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mam 7 years ago and so sudden aswell. Life is so unfaur sometimes. I am salso so sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with OC but happy to hear that it has been caught in the early stages and I have no doubt that your mam is looking after you. I do agree with you that although we cannot nsee, touch or hear our loved ones that have gone beofre us, I do believe they are still with us eachday and guiding us as best as they can and most of all looking after us too. I feel my mam with me everyday , juts finding it hard to understand that she is gone forever from my sight. memories are precious as are photos of her but I just wosh mam was still here with me but in a healthy way as I wouldnt wish her illness back on her. Thank you for your support andI sincerely wish you well and I will keep you in my prayers everyday. Take care and thanks. love & hugs kazxxxx
Dear Kaz
I'm glad you found us and you've posted a blog in memory of your Mum. The site is for anyone with Ovarian Cancer, their carers, children and anyone sharing their journey. To my mind a support group is about giving as well as taking and we're members of Ovacome to share our experiences and hopefully to provide support for each other along the way.
I was very touched by your post. I know my daughters worry themselves sick about me and there's really very little support for them. You, and others have helped me consider what they're going through and this has opened up discussions with them and things I can do now which I hope will help them along their journey.
It's really a tough call losing a parent or anyone close to you. It leaves a gaping hole in one's live. I have lost both parents and my brother has suffered a major stroke and is in a nearly vegetative state in a care home so I have lost that relationship too. I grieve each one of them but as time goes by the aching loss gets better.
I do think you should consider contacting Cruise or a counselling agency that help people come to terms with loss. I hope this will enable you in time to turn negative thoughts into positive ones and that you might use those memories of your Mam to raise awareness of Ovarian Cancer and perhaps even prevent other women being diagnosed when it's too late to hope for a cure.
But there is hope for each and every one of us. Every day researchers are using our tissue and drawing from our experiences to find a cure or at least new treatments that will alleviate our suffering. I take great comfort in the thought that children born today will never need to worry about dying of cancer. When I look at my tiny grandchildren I remind myself that the pain and sorrow of cancer will ultimately be resolved. None of us can resolve the inevitably of death.
Love to you. I shall be thinking of you and hoping your grief eases with time.
xx Annie
Hi annie. Thank you so so much for the lovely message you left me in reply to my posting last week. I am so sorry to hear that you lost both parents and your brother has been left in such a sad condition afdter his stroke. grief is the worst thign ever and I thought after my sister passed away in 1997 that it couldnt get any worse then that but with mam gone aswell now, the pain is unbearable sometimes. I do trust that time is a good healer and it will get easier as I learn to except it more.. I am also sorry to hear that youa re not well and I really do wish you the best of luck with it all and just to let you know I will keep you in my prayers. My mam like you always worried about her children and grand children but she talked to us all the time and kept us up to speed in everything, there was never any secrets about her illness but I always believe that my mam would come through this...it was juts not meant to be. I have thought about contacting a counselling group and I hope to do it soon. Just tryign to get my emotions in tact a bit. I have been overwhelmed by the support I have received from this website given that fact that I am acroos the Irish sea aswell, poeple have been so good and so supportive expecially as they have their own heartache aswell. Thank you once again for the reply and i sincerely sih you all the best for the future. Love to you too and hgs. Kazxxxx
Hi Kaz,
So sorry for the pain you're going through,I can understand how you are feeling.I've experienced this from both sides,my dad who I adored died just before christmas in 2010.I thought I'd never get over it,but I had to put on a brave face for my daughter who had just gone to Uni and was a real grandad's girl.Then in may last year I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer,I could only think if the worst happened the hardest part would be leaving my beautiful daughter behind.We are very close as I have brought her up on my own since divorcing when she was three and I must admit I've spoilt her rotten.She is an only one and the thought of her being heart broken is the pain I've been through.I think you're mum would think like I do and would want you to be happy and remember all the good times you had together.This is how I think of my dad when I still sometimes get upset thinking about him.I remember the good times and how my life would not have been the same without all the love and support he gave me and all the happy memories he left behind.
Hi there. Many thanks for your lovely message, I really appreciated it. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your lovely dad. it is so sad to think that people we truly adore and love are taken from us for a reason none of us know. I am also sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with OC. God I hope you are doing okay with it all and you are getting through the treatment. your relationship sounds so lovely with your daugther, I also have a daughter myself, she is nearly 16 and I love her to the ends of the earth, I also have a little boy who is 8 and he is my little treasure. They both have kept me going and pulled me out of the darkness of the last 5months.I wish you all the best and thnak you so much again for your lovely kind words, it really helps to receive messages like this. will keep in touch. take care. kazxxxx
Hi All. I just wanted to see how everyone is doing at the moment. I have not been on this site in a while, just trying to cope with life after losing my mam. So my apologies for not being on to see how everyone is doing. Look forward to hearing from you all. Kaz xxxx
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