I kept meaning simply to say Happy New Year to you all, my OC sisters, and I do wish that for you all -- but every time I started typing got a bit too introspective and slightly maudlin. I am trying desperately not to stress out about what finishing chemo and going into the "wait and see" phase after my scan on 8th and hopefully my remission sign-off. I'm always saying to others not to get caught up in the "what if..." yet found that Dec 31st put me right there.
I waited until in a better frame of mind to blog... Now that my first glass of wine for 6 months has cheered me up (a lot - am clearly now a cheap date) , I wanted to try to find some good things to think about the turn of the new year. Because lots of us have tough times to face the coming year and it can be hard to see them sometimes. I am trying to find ways to stay firmly positive. Love to get more additions...
A NEW YEAR MEANS...
A time for new resolutions for living more healthily and positively
More of us will go through successful treatment and on into remission
A fresh year of research into OC will get underway
Another year's worth of valuable trials evidence will have been gathered
More new Ovacome local support groups will be born
Together we will welcome and support more newcomers to the site - and help them adjust
We can look forward to OC month in March, and join together for fundraising and awareness
Spring is coming around again! And we can look forward to a bit of sun...at last
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”
I've been beset by 'what if' thoughts over the past couple of days too so I know exactly what you mean. I'm usually quite good at stamping them into submission. I really appreciated the spirit of your post.
I'm sure that it's just the spirit of the day, I felt a bit introspective and wistful yesterday too. This morning, though, there's sunshine, really bright, to herald the New Year and maybe some better weather.
I so much agree with all your wishes for developments in the care and treatment of OC
As for things to look forward to:
> sun on our faces
> Member's Day in May....great for catching up with friends on here (see Member's Day thread on here previously) Really looking forward to seeing Annie and Babs again, and others I feel I know already.
> days getting longer
> spending more time getting better at a couple of hobbies ....I will need to get organised a bit better with my time
> a bit more de-cluttering than last year ....much needed
Looking forward to seeing what we all come up with
Yes the hobby thing is a nice prospect... I am going to really get my crafty things going this year, I never thought I would get so excited by making things. I find it soothes the soul as you simply can't be antsy and fidgety while trying to knot pearls! Unfortunately that has clashed wildly with previous attempts to clear up my house which is now overflowing with jewellery findings and boxes, piles of bags of wax and bottles of scent!
And I am so looking forward to Members Day - cannot wait to put real faces to this mad band of electronic ladies! Xxx
What a lovely blog. It was very comforting to read that others have been feeling the same way. Negativity isn't my usual mantle so it felt uncomfortable for a couple of days before the New Year. I too had pessimistic thoughts and worried what the new year would bring given I'm now over the average remission time for my grade and stage of ovarian cancer.
This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and revived. Sue's list of positives chimes with my own as did Wendy's bright look on the longer days to look forward to and at last a bit of sunshine.
To end our Old Year we did a bit of decluttering - one of the lofts has been emptied and I've snapped out of a negative and cramping nostalgia. I've thrown out my dear Mum's 1950s Teasmade. It's been in one loft or another for about 50 years as it never did make a decent cup of tea! I've put the kids things in piles to be sorted and rehoused if they want the stuff, and I rediscovered a great pile of photos dating back over the 60 (nearly) years of my life.
For me the New Year means:
A list of exciting events and trips starting with a house party on 5 Jan when I hope to raise funds for Ovacome
Getting together a fit regime to include some gym as well as swimming and cycling
Annie's Challenge for 2013 will be a 25 mile cycle ride in one day with fundraising in mind
Make up photo albums from the best of my pile of pics. One to cover every decade of my life and an album for each daughter. I need to add a description of the event, time or place so they can make sense of it whether I'm here or not.
Work towards a better balance of activity and reflection. At the moment it's probably 99 to 1, well perhaps today it's already 98:2.
Much love to you all. May you all be filled with renewed hope and vigour in the New Year.
Oh the photo album thing is a wonderful idea. I will forever be grateful to my mother who painstakingly went through gazillions of old pictures working out who was who and writing it down. Now she is gone, along with her sisters, but my cousins and I have a lovely collection which really conveys their life and our family history - so easily lost. Xxx
PS you're going to shame me into some flipping exercisey thing, I can just see it coming...
Well I am rather envious of your indoor gym - though I'm so lazy I probably wouldn't use it if I had one. The only way for me is to pay and then I feel I have to get my money's worth.
with love from one couch potato to another. xxx Annie
You should hear Clive on the subject of me paying for gym membership and then going a few times a month.... Oh Lordy!
I try to walk most days now.....more interesting!
Love the photo idea too
Love W xx
Thank you Sue,
I have many ideas on what I should (or shouldn't do) none of which ever comes to fruition so for me at least it is just one day at a time... lots of love x G x
Sue many thanks for your blog how we must all relate to the what next.
If it is any consolation, all you ladies have given me much hope looking at different treatments. I always worry when a treatment dosent work and think is there anything left?
But my onc says there are still plenty of tools in the box.Anyway less of the doom and gloom.
although I do have a decision to make tomorrow my 28th taxol I need to come off it getting too many side effects but it is doing what it says on the tin. Scan remains the same do you hammer your body or do you give it a break. which will mean some other treatment?
Here's to a happy and stable for a short time 2013.
Must admit thought it was just me feeling so down yesterday, I hate posting when I feel like that. Felt tearful most of the day, but fought it, when I actually gave in and let myself have a good cry I felt much better lol!
Today I feel very different....the sun is shining, sky is blue, off with husband, grandson and dogs to the seaside to blow out all those cobwebs!
Bring on 2013, I feel in a much better place than I did this time last year, and ready for the challenge.
I too have been feeling introspective, especially just now after reading the blog on Lucky the dog! For me the New Year will bring the remainder of my treatment and the prospect of getting back to work, and that's the part that nags at me the most. I feel OC has given me an opportunity to make changes but am a little stuck about what they may be. I need to go back to work but the daily politics and sheer stress of that world is not attractive anymore. I have some thinking to do, but first I need to finish my masters dissertation!
So for me the New Year is going to be about getting on with my study, deep reflection,making a difference, seeing the people that matter in my life more above working all hours, making lots of plans and not being constrained by OC but embracing it and not being scared, perhaps a little bit of that's finding more faith than I thought I had and being loved and seeing more kindness in the world than I knew there was.
Happy New Year xxxxx
Hi Sue
Happy New Year to you and everyone else on this site. I too had a fleeting thought this morning as to whether I would still be here this time next year although I am over 2 years into remission. I suppose these thoughts will never leave me. However, I have just been for a long walk this morning along the seafront from Boscombe to Bournemouth and see the reason why I will keep battling on whatever the outcome.
The sound of the sea
The sun and wind on my face
The smell and sound of the sea.
and my beautiful family and wonderful husband and soul mate of 33 years.
Your post really cheered me up as I too was feeling a little unsettled this morning by the New Year celebrations, although that may have something to do with being at a great party last night with family and friends which we left at 4.00am!
Happy New Year to you and everyone else on this site,
Love Brenda XX
Thanks for your post Sue and for the positive outlook encouragements
I too like the others ahve had somme tears and what ifs these last few days and no doubt will have some more when I put the Christmas decorations away. Felt comforting( don't mean that unkindly) to know that many of us have felt that way. Just means we are normal I guess!!!
Had a couple of boutrs of bad abdo pain yesterday and today which upset me too. Am ok ish now and see the onc in 3 weeks. What next.
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