Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. It gave me the lift I needed. I’m less teary ad even though I know it’ll come back again I’m making the most of feeling almost normal - maybe the sunshine yesterday helped as well. I’ve taken your advice and for the first time ever we have cleaners coming round today who will start doing a couple of hours a week (even though I did make hubby do that ridiculous middle class thing of tidying the house for them yesterday!!) I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to having a lovely clean house even if it’s only for a few hours each week before my family turn it back into a student squat!! They do their best but to be honest I am a bit OCD about my house being clean and tidy and they just don’t seem to see what I see!!! How silly that the thought of a clean tidy house can make me feel so much better!!! Jonathan is having a great time with his work experience and tells me off for ringing him every day to make sure he’s ok because apparently he “can do things by myself Mum!”
Chemo couldn’t go ahead yesterday because neutrophils were low and while part of me just wants to plough in and get on with it I can’t lie - it’s quite nice to have a bit of respite - left chemo and went for lunch with hubby instead. Seeing the onc on Friday to discuss what we might do because this was only round 2 and bloods are already battered.
I hope everyone else is doing as well as they can on this rollercoaster - glad I’m on an up at the moment but relieved you’re all there for when I inevitably come crashing down again xxxx
Becky x
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Awww glad you are feeling more upbeat. I totally get the bit about the house. I freaked out so much at the hospital when I went for chemo one day they postponed it for a week and said to come back when the house was clean lol. Hubby took me from room to room sat me down and said right what needs doing and then proceeded to follow every instruction! He does try bless him! Hope you enjoyed your lunch out yesterday. All the best for your meeting tomorrow. Kathy xx
So sorry you have to deal with this vicious recurrence, but I totally understand about the house.
My husband has been absolutely wonderful in supporting me and finding foods I can eat and serving them up, as I was bedridden for so long.
But the house! Ugh. I hated to have friends visit. He never vacuums, and if I mention it, he gets defensive and angry. The dust is everywhere! The Lino needs sweeping and washing!
Fortunately, I finished my first line treatment two weeks ago and have been assigning myself little tasks each day, so I am slowly getting a handle on some of the mess.
My daughter forbids me to vacuum, but after hinting, and pleading, the carpets remain covered in dog hair and tracked in dirt, so when my husband goes to the gym and my daughter goes shopping, I will Hoover as much as I can, from a sitting position!
Sorry to go on about myself.
All I want to add is, stay of good cheer, get those bloods up and kill that thing!
Good to hear you are feeling a bit better today becky. Recurrence is horrible for messing with your emotions - worse than diagnosis. Also great you've got a cleaner - we did same, saved my life & probably my marriage!
OMG. I thought I was the only one who likes a clean house! Mess I can tolerate up to a point but I need a fairly clean place. Thanks for making me feel better about that. When I was on chemo, I really couldn't do much at all. And yes, I got a wonderful young woman to come and clean once a week. But maybe it makes me feel that not everything in my life is out of control. LOL.
You sound a little more upbeat. We have a Cleaner once a week just to do the rooms we use the most and it’s frantic the night before. Quick tidy up cleaning due tomorrow! Find the discarded undies lol clear sides down in kitchen pull table out in dinning room so she can get round it!
I love the fact your son sounds so like mine did at they age. Real superstars. It’s peace of mind big time
I’ve found my mood is really up and down despite us having a short break. It’s the nature of the aliens pulling our strings they need sedating so hopefully if you want to continue with the chemo it’ll stun them for a while
Thanks for letting us know how you are, Becky, I hope your mood remains up. I'm one of those who has a cleaner come in. She doesn't always do things as I would but she's good, and we chat too. A clean house does improve my mood too.
Haha. I always tidy before the cleaners come. I figure I know where my stuff goes do am better at putting it away, besides I need help with the cleaning/scrubbing, not tidying.
Don’t worry about having to postpone chemo bc of low neutrophils, this happened to me EVERY month so I only got chemo every 4 weeks instead of 3. It is nice to have a week’s respite. Hope you had a good lunch with hubby!
Hi Becky, So glad you are feeling better and do understand having a clean house does help I've put off calling in cleaners but the last 3 weeks the fatigue has been so bad that I can hardly shower, poor husband has been doing his best with cooking. house work and the gardening,I think it's time I got someone in even just to do the bathrooms we have 3.
I hope treatment starts soon and with good results..take care Lorraine xx
I too have a cleaner for a couple of hours once a week and she is brilliant but we also have a tidy up before she comes!! My daughter and her partner are very messy which drives me to distraction but at least once a week everything is clean and tidy which is a lovely feeling!
My bloods too took a battering with second line chemo but just had to have an extra week in between 4th and 5th sessions for the cells to regroup!! Hope all goes well for you xx
Glad you're feeling better! I feel so lucky that my Mum and Dad have been able to stay with me over the last 6 months - they have been superstars cooking and cleaning and doing the washing. All that, and i even had to move flats while all the operations and chemo was going on - so they had to do that too, which included building a new kitchen!!! I will miss them when they go. We're a very clean and tidy family, so I completely understand how you must have felt to not be able to keep on top of it all. Xxxx
Hi Becky, just wanted to say I'm glad you're feeling a bit brighter. I've just had my 5th dose of chemo (carboplatin/caelyx given every 4 weeks). All really well, but my neutrophils were low last week so chem postponed for a week. Anyway, they were still low but oncologist decided to go ahead with chemo yesterday and I'm having a district nurse call on me today to give me an injection Lonquex/lipedfilgrastim-this should make my neutrophils "spike" and hopefully they'll stay elevated for next dose of chemo. Hope this helps and wishing you the best.
Just like me and my late wife when we fought this horrible disease. Even during her bedridden days she insisted on doing some cooking. so i have to bring the onions, veges and chopping board by the bedside.We were married more than 25 years so nothing much could break us. And how she hated not to be able to sweep the floor as a morning routine before going to work!
I am glad you are feeling better. I totally understand what you mean about ocd about your house. I try to remain clean and organized as well.😊
After my diagnosis it became very difficult for me to keep up in the manner in which I always kept things. My husband really stepped up! Our children are grown but we have grandchildren that live close by and visit daily.
I think it is very hard to give up things that have to do with control because our health feels out of control! It therefore feels like everything is falling apart. Becky it is not though. You did the greatest thing in getting outside help. You will love it. It will give you comfort and rest.
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Just like me and my late wife when we fought this horrible disease. Even during her bedridden days she insisted on doing some cooking. so i have to bring the onions, veges and chopping board by the bedside.We were married more than 25 years so nothing much could break us. And how she hated not to be able to sweep the floor as a morning routine before going to work!
Update : my sister CA125 results. 
Unbelievable Updated Update 
