I went to a funeral today of a friend that had been diagnosed with breast cancer 4 weeks before I was with OC. She was in remission but started to feel poorly late October. Sadly died just before Christmas.
It was the first funeral I have been to since my father passed away suddenly in May.
I have 3 close friends with terminal cancer. All my age.
This isn’t a sympathy post. And I don’t want it to be a sad post.
I’ve tried so hard in the last 6 months to be positive about very much.
Like most ladies here I feel like I’m a sitting time bomb. Oncologist doesn’t beat about the bush about a recurrence. So I feel I’m sort of mentally prepared for another battle at some point.
My reason for posting is life is so very precious.
So easy to take it for granted.
We must enjoy every precious moment.
We must be grateful for each day. Find a positive in each day. No matter how small.
I’m sitting on the sofa snuggled with my little dog. I have a new crisp magazine next to me to browse. Nothing exciting. But this is my positive for today. After such a sad farewell to my friend.
This is a new year. The nights are beginning slowly to be lighter. I left work early today at 4pm and just stood in the playground enjoying the light.
We are all going through battles here.
I hope that you can all just think of a little positive today. And enjoy it.
I don’t post very often but I do read all the posts.
Amazing bunch of people here. Each strong in their own way. Huge admiration from me.
Thank you for a sad but lovely post - I’m so sorry you have lost your friend. I agree that we have to take all the positives we can - there is so much to live for and having a terminal illness has really focused that for me. I take much more pleasure from the menial things and find myself not worrying about the unnecessary as much as I did before.
I am feeling pleased with myself that I have just finished a knitted Christmas wreath I have been making since November. When I said to my husband that it was a bit late for the festivities, he pointed out that actually it was a bit early!! Another Christmas wouldn’t go amiss!!
Hug your dog, read your magazine and savour the time we have.
Ah Ali that was a lovely post too. Thank you. I think the more knocks we get the stronger we become and worry less about the little things. And see the good things we all have.
A knitted wreath. Wow 😃
Have you got a photo ?
Like your husband said, you are now on your way to bring organised for next Christmas. You can be the first in your road to have the wreath on your door! X
I’ll post a photo if I can work out how (think I need to be on my laptop). My friend saw a pic of the wreath and asked me if it was knitted or if it was made from broccoli 🥦! Now that wouldn’t last long on the front door (it wouldn’t last long anyway - middle of Birmingham!).Take care, Ali x
Ali, you could always say that you follow the Julian calendar rather than this modern Georgian calendar and so put up your wreath on 7th January, which is 25th December in the Julian calendar. You can then take down your wreath on 18th January (Twelfth Night in the Julian calendar).
An affection for the Julian calendar comes in very handy when you find yourself late for things.....
Unfortunately not, only Chinese, Hebrew or Islamic calendars are offered for the iPhone. And looking this up, I have realised it is the Gregorian calendar we use, not the Georgian calendar as I've always thought. After Pope Gregory XIII who introduced it. Oh well, learn something new everyday.
Hi Sarah, thank you. 2017 was obviously tough but 2018 will be much better. I too always look at the positive, I try to take nothing for granted. I was diagnosed in 2014 April will be 4 yrs since my diagnosis. I'm looking forward to April my friends and I are going out to celebrate. I don't really worry about my cancer returning, I'm stage 3c, of course the possibility is strong I just figure why waste my time. I like to stay positive. I'm sure 2018 will be wonderful. Bless You, Liz
Thank you Liz. It’s so reassuring to hear that not everyone has a recurrence. I wish my oncologist was as positive as you all here. It will be 2 years since my diagnosis in April. I will raise a glass to you when I raise my own !! Xx
Yes sad post,but positive also, I was diagnosed in 2014 and am still here.
I take every day as it comes, no point thinking about something that may not happen. I get through by being as busy as possible, l knit, find it very theraputic, travel, look after grandkids, aged 8 months and 4 years and we also have a boat.
Also, day to day gets me through, I love that the days are getting lighter and we are the other side to Christmas. Went away for a few days out in the fresh air and a spa swimming, gym and jacuzzi, doesn't matter what, just make every day count,
Lots of love,
Carole xx
Light evenings and fresh air is such a good feeling.
Being on a boat must be a wonderful feeling. Of freedom.
Every day does count.
A friend was telling me about something she’d seen on Facebook.
You write on a piece of paper one happy positive thing that happened that day. Big or small. Fold it up and pop it in a jar. Then you look through them. In a month. 6 months. Or a year. Whatever suits you.
I think your post was a great image of the varied aspects of life and I like your positive attitude without it being "relentless". What you said chimes -
All the best to you and I know what you mean about a fresh unbrowsed magazine...
I don’t know you Sarah but I definitely share your beliefs, I too feel so lucky to be here and live life. I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer back in March 2016. I’m still NED with a CA 125 of below 5 and count my blessings, but believe been positive deffinately helps. Xx
Sarah, great post. We are all in the same boat. It’s incredibly easy to ‘overthink’ absolutely everything when facing a diagnosis such as cancer. I think life is incredibly precious, and it changes in an instant. You are right about finding the Gratitude, no matter how small xxx
It is quite scary how life changes so dramatically in an instant. For so many people. Gratitude is a great word.
Just have to keep reminding ourselves to be grateful. Hope you are ok xx
I’m so sorry that you are having to deal with such sadness.
I totally understand your comment about ticking time bomb, I’m currently under 3 mth monitoring programme as my cancer was no longer detectable after surgery & chemo. But my oncologist reminds me of the % of reoccurrence & I just to look at my life in 5 yr chunks don’t know why 5yrs seemed a good number to think ‘if I’m ok for another 5 yrs, I’ll deal with it then’ but no one knows what tomorrow will bring, so we just have to be positive & face each days challenges as they occur, I know your father & your friend who are sadly no longer walking on this earth are right behind you & supporting you from within your heart so be positive in their memory.
Something that helped me bizarrely was the Grenfell fire tragedy I was home the day it happened just having had a chemo session so curled up on sofa feeling sorry for myself & I watched the TV coverage all day & I thought those poor people went to bed that night not dreaming it would be their last. But I’m still alive slightly damaged with an uncertain future but who does know their future.
Wishing you & your friends all the best & I pray one day they will find a cure for us & others.
Love Jan xx
in reply to
Thank you Jan.
We do have to remind ourselves that others out there are suffering in lots of different ways. We just have to get up each day. Take a moment think of that positive. I think January is always a tricky month for a lot of people as we leave Christmas festivities behind and the weather is so dull. But lots to appreciate!
There has been a lot of progress in recent years with treatment for cancer so let’s hope that progress continues. Xx
I try and read the posts each morning before I get up. It’s been a sad time lately for so many ladies.
It is hard when you are surrounded by sadness. But I have to just keep thinking they would all want us to make the most of what we have. And to keep smiling. Xx
Hear, hear....all those small pleasures from which we so easily get distracted.
Life - for everyone - is terminal. Not just us. We just have a more acute sense of its worth and its fragility and fate's randomness.
The deaths of friends, virtual ones on here, or in the flesh ones, or strangers - all those young lads recently - are hard and remind us of that.
John Donne was absolutely right.
Thanks for postingxx
in reply to
You are right. It’s just we have been given a warning. And sadly we see and hear all the reminders like you say.
I have just read John Donnes poem and the analysis. So right. Xx
You are right Sarah, and your post resonated so much with me, that I have just read it and had a little cry! Not really sure why except currently I am finding appreciation in the small everyday things a bit difficult. I just want everyday to be for ever!!!!!! It's not going to happen, is it?
It takes things like funerals to make you sit up and think. Especially in the modern world where everyone is just so busy. It is the little parts of our day that we need to enjoy.
My positive for today is going to see War Horse with my in laws. Tissues at the ready !! Xx
I'm sorry you lost your father and now some close friends but I agree we must not take life for granted. Following our diagnosis it brings home to us how very precious life is. I have always loved the outdoors but now take even greater pleasure in our Earth.
Enjoy snuggling up with your little dog. I have a nine-week old puppy and the only time I can snuggle with him is when he collapses with exhaustion.
Are you a teacher since you mention a playground? What a rewarding job.
Hi Helen. So exciting to have a little puppy 😃 but very exhausting.
What type of dog?
Ours is a little bichon/Yorkie. He is full of energy but does like to snuggle in the evenings.
Enjoying the outdoors dog walking is great. Although ours is a tiny dog he needs a lot of walking to release his energy. It’s great because no matter how you feel you have to take him out. Always returning feeling so much better. Enjoy every moment of your puppy.
I’m not a teacher. Im what you would call the old fashioned bursar. I do HR recruitment Health and Safety premises etc.
He's a working cocker spaniel, red (liver if you look at his pedigree). We can't take him out yet as he hasn't had his second set of injections. We have taken him into the garden when it hasn't been raining (not often) but have to close up the chickens into their pen as he's more interested in them then the great outdoors.
Last Tuesday, when I was rushing to get to London on the 0707 train, he escaped out the back door and chased them all over the garden. I nearly fell over in the mud as my wellingtons don't have much tread on them and it was still quite dark. I was getting worried they'd fly over the fence as I haven't clipped their wings. Faith did that once when a neighbour brought their Jack Russell in and it took hours to coax her to come to me and I had visions of missing my clinic and chemo appointment. Needn't have rushed, things were hours late after the bank holiday on New Year's Day.
We had to say goodbye to our beloved Fido who was also a working cocker spaniel, but he was black. I went out with him every day even when the chemo effects were hardish and also when I came back from my operation. I live in a rural area so it was easy to pop behind a tree with my nappy sack containing my wipes, etc and spare NHS white incontinence knickers made especially for amazons and so the waist comes up to your armpits (one size fits all, should be renamed one size fits most). Little Fido must have wondered what all the fuss was about, he didn't even bother going behind a tree.
It's true what you say, however you're feeling, whatever the weather, out you go....
Oh gosh Sarah, I totally feel for you, having had cancer yourself is tough enough without having lost a friend and having 3 other friends with it too. Life can be very cruel at times. It is amazing that you are so positive despite of everything, you must be a strong person. Having cancer certainly makes you re-evaluate what’s important and to appreciate the simple things in life. I’m 3c and like yourself my Onc was very honest from the onset it would recur which was devastating as my children were only 12 & 9. 18 months later I went for a second opinion and was equally as shocked to be given a far more positive outlook for the future! 😀 this has helped me enormously, no-one can guarantee it won’t recur and there are lots of ladies on this site that do but for now now I’m being positive, living more in the moment & doing what’s important to me. At least if it does come back, I won’t have spent months or years worrying about it! Hope you continue to stay clear and well. With very best wishes, Jo xx
Hi Jo. It must be just so hard when you have young children. Mine were 24 and 26 and it was hard enough for them to take it in.
I come from a very large family that brings lots of traumas and emotions so I think we have all learnt to just accept and get on. Saying that I do feel that once diagnosed with a serious illness you learn to be strong. You don’t want family and friends to know you are suffering so put on a front. I also think you develop the desire to be strong and positive to enable you to cope and deal with the illness.
I’m not always positive. I have moments when I literally sob. For how much life has changed. And the hurt and pain others go through. Missing those that have passed away. But then we do have to get on and enjoy what we have.
Like you say. We shouldn’t worry about what may come. Hard though !!
I hope you also continue to stay well.
And knowing there are possible new treatments out there helps. Xx
What a lovely post. I’m so sorry you’ve lost two people so close to you. I have really rethought my priorities since my recurrence in 2015.
Everyday is a celebration and even though I’m rolling around moaning at the moment I’m still happy to be alive. Cancer diagnosis is like being handed an expiry date yet we all have one
Thank you for sharing with us, you are right, we are all little time bombs and knowing this makes us more aware of time and the need to enjoy it in any way we want to and can.
I’m really sorry you’ve had a sad time recently but hope you are ok.
I bought some Christmas gift tags yesterday and got some very quizzical looks from hubby but I believe we need to look forward as much as we possibly can.
Enjoy your new magazine, I love a new magazine, there’s a smell about new printed publications that’s unique and I really like (always been a smellaholic), enjoy cuddling your fluffy friend, their love is unconditional all you need now is a nice hot chocolate 😋
So glad there are a few others that love a new crisp magazine 😃
Love that you got xmas gift tags.
I have to say this OC has stopped me hoarding now. I’ve been decluttering for 6 months now. I don’t buy anything I don’t need any more. And I use all my candles. Wear all my ‘best’ clothes.
Use all my favourite cutlery and china.
Nothing is out away and I try and use everything I have. If not it goes off to charity.
Loft still needs doing. Saving that for slightly warmer days !! Xx
Hi Sarah. How encouraging to me - your comments about de-cluttering really helped me & using everything (even all best things)!
I would like to get a dog but we have a beautiful, rather timid house cat & I am worried about her reaction!
This will hopefully make you & other lovely ladies laugh....! My husband has just found 2 presents that he was supposed to give me for Christmas!! 😂 One is a lovely coaster & one is a book called, "The cat on my lap" 🐱
Hi Sarah......yes, some sadness in your post, but also uplifting. So sorry for your losses. I guess we all have them, but we do have to stay positive and in a state of gratitude for all the good that we do have. Ah, life......it's not for sissies! Sending best wishes to you and your family......Judyved
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