Feeling quite low today. 9 days on from 1st che... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome

14,963 members17,549 posts

Feeling quite low today. 9 days on from 1st chemo.

Zena41 profile image

Maybe it is leaving my body?

Feel like baby blues today and worried about the future ....

Doesn't help my 2 year old isn't sleeping and I need too luckily my lovely mum has took her for the day.

But here I am looking for inspiration on ovacome of long term survivors.

As I feel angry my consultant said recurrence is 18-22 months. At back of my head I'm thinking everyone is doing so differently in their own way.

Then I come across a lady who is in here 17th year NED after stage 1v , amazing news and gives me the strength and hope

Thank you for listening to me

Xx

30 Replies

Hi Zena. Your little one is picking up on your distress of course. It must be extra hard for you. I'm sure you will have the courage to get through this when you are not so tired. Have a good cry and don't feel bad about that. Don't hold back just to spare other people's feelings, it's not good for you. I've been crying on the phone with my eldest son this morning as I'm having a really tough time today. He's in Bristol, I'm in France and I can't hug him. We both felt better after though.

Love and hugs Kryssy xxx

I think OC presents differently in everyone so it's hard to say. I was told by more than one oncologist that once you recur you will recur again. When is impossible to answer. However there is a chance of cure with initial treatment.

Chemo does make you feel down. Plan a post chemo treat between each dose. It was suggested to me and works well.

LA xx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Lily-Anne

Hi lily.

Yes it so true that each to their own.

My gyn told me no cure but to zap it in its tracks.

Then my consultant said chemo to control it.

But I believe and do think they it may well be zapped in its tracks for a long time.

As there is women on here , I can only hope. Xx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Lily-Anne

Ps McDonald's for tea 👍🏻

Hi Zena41

Sorry you're feeling low today, it must be so hard doing this with a little one but I'm glad your mum is around to help.

I've only recently finished treatment but have come across lots of ladies on this forum who are doing well and gave me hope during treatment.

I was also diagnosed at stage 3c high grade serous and finished treatment in June. My hospital haven't given me any definite answers on whether I will have a recurrence or, if I do, when it might be as the truth is they just don't know. I am adjusting to living with uncertainty and of course I have wobbly moments when I think about what I might miss but am trying to keep positive and enjoy today.

take care

Andrea xx

Awww Zena. How you are feeling now hopefully wont last as the first couple of weeks after chemo are the worst. I think we have probably all been there. My mum was stage 3 and didn't have a recurrence of OC at all...... we are all different. Listen to your body, have a duvet day, have a weep if you feel like it, and I suspect you might just be feeling like it. Sending you a big but gentle hug xx Kathy xx

Kathy u always make me feel better. 😘😘😘

LittleSan profile image
LittleSan in reply to Zena41

My mum never recurred either Zena. Xx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to LittleSan

Another amazing story. Was she advanced stage ??

LittleSan profile image
LittleSan in reply to Zena41

It was 23 years ago and staging wasn't told to many then. Because of genetic testing I know it was high grade serous like mine but from her symptoms, and from what the consultant said it was advanced.

I have recurred but it's nearly three years again now. 6 since my original diagnosis and doing well.

Xx

I'm just an emotional wreck as Ellie being past around my family to enable me to get better.

She's not settling at nursery as a mum I feel guilty she is only 2 🤧

But I hold onto everything everyone says and next year things will be better 🙏🙏🙏

Kryssy profile image
Kryssy in reply to Zena41

Darling Zena. Ellie is NOT being passed around like pass the parcel. She is spending quality time with people who obviously love her and she'll be having a fabulous time. This alone time is about you now and instead of feeling guilty just concentrate on zapping those bloody cancer cells. Every time I have a wee I look down the pan and say "P*ss off for good you sh**bags". Not very ladylike but it keeps me focused.

Love and hugs and end of lecture

Kryssy xxx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Kryssy

I'm laughing away here. I don't even know you !

But you are amazing

Thank you 😘

Kryssy profile image
Kryssy in reply to Zena41

Thank you, kind Zena, but I'm not amazing, just a little old lady with a screw loose - according to my sons (4 wonderful human beings now).

Don't forget, Ellie is only 2 and will not remember this time when she's older unless you tell her. Let her play and laugh and be smothered with attention with your family. Much better than seeing mummy cry. If you are lucky enough to have those around you to help out and you take advantage of it then Ellie's behaviour will change. Those wee ones are a lot smarter than we give them credit for and they instinctively know when something is not quite right but they don't have the life experience to express themselves so it comes out the only way they know how. I'll keep my beedy eye on you missy, don't worry. xxxx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Kryssy

Awww let's look 👀 out for each other. X

Katmal-UK profile image
Katmal-UK in reply to Zena41

Next year WILL be better and to be perfectly honest I think it's part of being a mum 'built in guilt', no matter how old your children are. You aren't farming her out to passing strangers and I bet she's having a ball, leaving you to feel guilty! Honestly, she knows her mummy loves her and you just need to concentrate on getting better for her. She's not going to remember this episode in her life. This is all rolled into the low way you are feeling now. Things do improve xx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Katmal-UK

Thank you kathy

Your all like family means soo much. Here comes another tear , must be chemo blues !

Xx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Katmal-UK

Totally right. Whilst she rams her pram into my toe 😂👶🏻

Maybe I'm a bit different but I think that if I had been told what Zena was told then I would be very cross. How would I spend my time after successful chemo in the knowledge that it will come back? It would be in my thoughts constantly. I'm not stupid but it must affect your time free of cancer. I want to know what's what now, not what's in the future for me. Personally, I think it was cruel of your doctor to tell you that. But, that's just me. I just make every day count, no matter what condition I'm in (although today I'm in so much pain and discomfort that I could cheerfully jump in front of a bus). Try to concentrate on living, not what's in the future. No-one can predict with 100% accuracy what will happen to any of us. Now, where's that bus.......

Kryssy xxx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Kryssy

Yes krissy they should just let us live in hope !

And ignore that bus until you are going shopping next week when you feel better 💋

Hard to cope with all this and a young child as well. Take it nice and easy on yourself. You will have off days that's for sure. However your oncologist can't see into the future and generalisations are not a good subject. You could be the patient to surprise him why not. If you can get out for an hour or so with friends and a cuppa. Great to take your mind off stuff

Yes soo true. Eitha answer dr gives me may not come true.

I plan to prove him wrong.

Yes tommorrow I will walk to the toy shop to take Ellie to buy dolly shoes xx

Kryssy profile image
Kryssy in reply to Zena41

Ata girl! Enjoy your little one cos all too soon they are adults. Best time of my life was having four boys running around causing mayhem and laughter. Went by in a flash.

Have a great day

Love Kryssy xxx

Sorry to hear you're not feeling so good. We can't feel high and positive all the time though we all try. It will pass. Your body is going through a big change and trauma.

When I was well I realised that I wasn't as well when taking my treatment as I thought I was at the time. We just have to ride the waves, make the most of the good days and put up with the not so good because you will get through this and come out the other side.

It's worse for you having a youngster to deal with who doesn't understand what is wrong with mummy. You must think of yourself, it's not selfish. Do what you have to to get better and feel well again.

Sorry if it sounds like a lecture. You know we're all here for you.

Take care, Zena J xx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to ZenaJ

Thank you 😘

ZenaJ profile image
ZenaJ in reply to Zena41

You will get better xxxx

Some of us recur, some don't. I know an older lady who was treated for oc 27 years ago, & has never recurred. Di

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Di16

Wow so she is cured ?

Hi Zena

I was stage 1c,but my onc told me I only had a couple of weeks left, that was 2 and a half years ago and still Ned.

My first grandson was 9 months old when I was diagnosed and my daughter had to rush to find a nursery to put him in because I was too ill to do childcare and I never felt so guilty.

I hated the fact he was having to go to a nursery at such an early age,but being around different people has done him no end of good,he is thriving,please don't beat yourself up like I did.

I am well at the moment and have another grandchild 4 months old and we help our daughter as much as we can and enjoy it.

I just think you have to concentrate on you and getting better, then all will fall into place,

Lots of love,

Carole xx

Zena41 profile image
Zena41 in reply to Caroles1

Yes true.

Thank you.

I keep thinking of hols xx