Windy Thursday.

[Suzanne333]

No. Not me having wind, the weather.

Feeling a bit low today. I think it's a bit of anxiety about returning to work on Monday. I'm doing a phased return and my colleagues are lovely but I feel scared.

Also I took my sister to the hospital on Tuesday as she's been passing blood clots in her urine. Her leg swelled up too. Plus she keeps getting cystitis like symptoms. Anyway an ultrasound revealed an ovarian cyst. The size of a small plum. They're going to investigate further as they say it looks funny.

Her RMI - Risk of Malignancy Index was higher than it should be. She only has one ovary as the other was removed about seven years ago. Her CA125 test which she had done 6 months ago was 6. I'm just so worried about her. I don't want her to have what I've got. Our mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was having my second chemo. She's ok now

I just think it's all getting to me at the moment. I'm usually upbeat and positive.

Sorry for waffling on. 😟

Xxxxxx

[Emsymits]

Don't be daft! You are allowed to waffle on - that's what this is here for. Hopefully the cyst will be nothing to worry about as the majority are. However, thank the heavens they have found it now. As we all know if it is dodgy earlier is better. The CA125 figure is good so odds in her favour. I know it is difficult but try to take the view that there is no point worrying before there is something to worry about.

Fingers crossed.

E

X

[Suzanne333 in reply to Emsymits]

Aww. Thank you for your reply. Yes I'll try not to worry until I know there's something to worry about.

Xxxxx

[Lyndy]

Not waffling Suzanne...worrying maybe but I can understand why you are concerned. On the return to work...I know it's daunting but my experience has been that it neatly filled up time I would have spent fretting about recurrence..gave me purpose and made me feel normalish again. So hopefully you will also benefit..oh and the money is nice too!

Let's hope your sister has good news ...sounds like your family has been through enough xx Lyndy

[Suzanne333 in reply to Lyndy]

Hi Lyndy.

Thank you for your reply. I think going back to work will be good. Like you say, it'll take my mind off worrying about things. I'll hopefully be too busy. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

I hope you are ok. Xxx

[Shellygirl]

I too have just returned to work doing phased return it's daunting but everyone has been super nice ,.. with added worry over your sister it's stressful time for you ... returning to work will be a doddle after all you have been through... sending big hugs for you and your sister 😂😂

[Suzanne333 in reply to Shellygirl]

Aww. Thank you. Yes we've all been through a lot on here. It's a great site as we all know how others feel.

On an added note- my washing machines just packed up. 😟😟😟😟😟

Hope you are ok. Xxxx

[minard]

Oh not the washing machine, Suzanne!!! Honestly, it feels like someone's out to get us sometimes doesn't it? Keep (as) calm (as you can) and focus on the good things: you've been through such a lot and going back to work is a big, but good, step. Particularly because you obviously have supportive colleagues, and it's phased. All the best for Monday - you'll be tired afterwards but it'll be another step back to being "you" again! X

[Marzipan]

I just returned to work this week on a phased return. I too was a bit scared on the Sunday night prior. What would they think of my super short hair? Would I remember how to do anything? How can I keep up with my colleagues when I am so slow now (chemo induced neuropathy)?

But wow, I spent the whole first day hugging people and being hugged. It continued the second day... They left a beautiful plant in my office (an office they preserved unmolested during my entire absence by throwing themselves in front of it every time the accommodation people wandered the floor looking for some free real estate) and they made me a pretty book with messages from everyone and pictures of people looking sad without me.

As easy as that was, I just about fell asleep in my dinner each night. I am so glad for the days of rest in between to recharge my batteries.

Of course, there was some stuff that I just could not remember how to do, but I JUST ASKED! I felt like an idiot, but just kept asking. I couldn't remember how to unlock my cabinet, or turn on my Blackberry mobile device, or find our shared drive, etc.

Anyway, there were lots of funny stories exchanged about our year apart and people were so kind and understanding. It felt good to taste a bit of normal even things aren't normal at all. But a good distraction until my next scan!

Your return to work will be fine! I am very sorry that you have so much worry about your sister. Think benign and hope it is so.

[Suzanne333 in reply to Marzipan]

Hi marzipan.

Thank you for your message . I know Sunday night will feel strange. I don't know if I will be able to get up on Monday morning. I have popped into work now and then and everyone is so lovely. I'm lucky that I work with a really lovely bunch of people. I work at a college and I've really missed the students. I might slip off at lunch time and have a kip in my car. He he.

I've got a bad back at the moment and it seems to radiate into my pelvis. I don't think it can be anything sinister as I had my last chemo end of January. My last scan was clear and I had that ion Feb 7th. I guess we just worry more when we've had or have got what we've got.

I'm Glad your return to work went well. Take it easy. Don't do too much. Xxxxx