It feels like the flu but it's not

[Damelza]

Hello ladies, I feel every part of my body hurts today for some reason. God knows what I will be like when I start chemo. My body and mind are having an argument. My mind is saying go out, enjoy the sun. My body is saying ... Stay in bed today.... Too much pain. Does any of you ladies feel like this?

[Hidden]

Well we all get days like this but maybe the sun might entice you out and about too. Its whatever you feel you want to do today but the sun has gone into hiding where I am so I would say make the most of it.

[Damelza in reply to Hidden]

Thanks suzuki.. Yes you are right. I'm going to sit in the sun for a while, may go for a walk later. I hope you are well.

[lesleysage]

Hi Damelza,

Let us know if your mind won out and took your body for a bask in the warm air!

I found these 'tugs-of-war' really interesting to observe between the different 'parts' of 'Me'. If it helps it is part of Mindfulness; gradually as you notice the 'war-ing factions', the decision for the 'whole of you' emerges.... I found I eventually learned to smile at these 'inner debates' and this helps me wait more patiently until I am sure what I will do next...

Hope the day is good whichever won out in the end, mind or body. Keep being kind to yourself.

Lesley

[Damelza]

Hi lesleysage, I did after all that go for a walk. I went with my two boys and hubby came too. It ends up the two boys started fighting over a stick so my hubby went back home with them and I carried on.. I actually always walked on my own and I liked it when they went home. That's sounds terrible but it's nice to be on your own sometimes 😁

[rosebud12 in reply to Damelza]

Does not sound terrible at all, I have five kids, and walks and quiet time renew me. good luck on chemo!

[Damelza in reply to rosebud12]

Thanks rosebud, I hope you are well 😀

[HogwartsDK]

Hope you are feeling better Damelza!

Dx

[Damelza in reply to HogwartsDK]

Hello Hogwarts, I don't know how I feel to be honest. I was pissed off when my doctor's secretary told me she was so sorry to hear I had cancer. Like the way you say it in a funeral home to a bereaved family. I felt like saying that I'm not dead yet, but I didn't. I am over reacting I know, I have done it myself and said to people that I was sorry that they had cancer. I know she meant well, it just sounds like you are just waiting to die or something. I'm in an odd mood today, don't mind me. I hope you are feeling good and enjoying the last few day is the sun before it breaks..😀

[HogwartsDK in reply to Damelza]

Know exactly what you mean the pitying looks used to drive me mad still do really! But as you said most people do mean well and they just don't know how to react! I remember before I started chemo I was on what can only be described as a rollercoaster! One day I was crying the next I was very angry the next I was so tired I couldn't get out of bed so all the emotions are to be expected and I hope they level off soon for you they did for me and I found a way to get more balance! This usually involves lots of walking which it sounds like you already do! Keep that up it really helps!!!!

Dx

[Damelza in reply to HogwartsDK]

Yes Hogwarts, walking for me does help. It's just going to take time to adjust to these ups and downs.. I have cancer.. I say that a lot these days. Maybe it's just sinking in. 😔