When a loved one is getting closer to their time of departing from this world people just don't know what to say. I had such a hard time when family members would tell my husband "You are so brave", as if to cheer him on. He was not feeling brave at that time of his life. He was so scared of dying he would break down, and weep many times during the day, and would tell them how scared he was. Some people were telling him "You got to keep going, don't give up the fight, we are so proud of you." He knew, they knew, his time was remaining was very limited.
It enlightened me and brought to surface how as a society we really don't know how to deal with death. All those comments from those loved ones were words to comfort themselves or just clichés', something to say. To strip down everything, to leave self out of it, to embrace the rawness of the sorrow with a loved one who is facing such emotions is when you are truly making a deeper connection with the one you love.
When my husband first came down with cancer, and when it returned and metastasized, it took great "strength and will" for him to get out of bed and face the day. It is beautiful that we all have that with-in us, the will to survive. We unconsciously put it into practice every day. But, when you have cancer... it's like training your mind as an athlete, but there is no training. Full speed ahead! All those emotions, choices, information can catch up to you (PTS). If one does not allow themselves to feel the anger, the pain, the realization of this journey you are hurting yourself. There is no glamourizing, no romanticizing this journey like the movies. It is a very raw path of life. Loved one's with cancer, and their loved ones, allow yourself to feel all the emotions this journey has embedded with-in. If you allow the anger, acknowledge the anger, work through it, you will become whole, and will experience the joys as well, and when you able to embrace one another's emotions is when you make a connection on a whole new level within the journey.
There is no fairness right from the start of the cancer journey. There is you, the disease, and guides (Doctors, nurses, loved one's) that help you in making CHOICES, and in the end....life and how it unfolds. Sometimes choices had no determining effect on how the path would unfold. Be kind & loving to yourself.
Embrace ALL emotions and be present in the moment.