Advice : Hi my name is joyce my partner... - Oesophageal & Gas...

Oesophageal & Gastric Cancer

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joyce55 profile image
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Hi my name is joyce my partner has oesphageal cancer he is now three weeks post - oesphagetomy.

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joyce55 profile image
joyce55
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12 Replies
SteveJ profile image
SteveJ

Hi Joyce, I think the best advice I could give you is if you get time have a look through the old posts covering this subject you will find lots of pointers. You and your partner have a journey to go through now and I would say take your time and just feel your way through the things. Everything will be new now from how much your partner can eat and also what type of things agree with them and what doesn't. And the main thing is there will always be lots of help on this site so if you sure not sure about something ask on here, the answer is usually forthcoming. Best Wishes.

Steve.

joyce55 profile image
joyce55 in reply to SteveJ

Thanks Steve I will take your advice, I know it's a long journey but hard to cope with, hopefully things will get better soon.

Thanks Joyce.

haward profile image
haward

Try to get exercise. I found walking very good. Just do what you can. But get ou and about as much as possible. It's hard but it gets easier day by day.

guzzirob profile image
guzzirob

I found this article very helpful/; uhbristol.nhs.uk/media/1293...

JoanPowell profile image
JoanPowell in reply to guzzirob

Thank you for this link! My husband is having IL surgery this coming Wednesday and this article answers a million of my post-surgery questions!

After months of being organised into hospital appointments and being under the supervision of doctors and nurses, it can be a bit daunting to be home, and it can feel like a great responsibility. You gradually regain confidence and learn to adapt to the new life.

Do not underestimate the strain that you yourself have been under as carer. It does take time to come to terms with everything that has happened. Many people in your position pop along to the Maggie's centre or equivalent to talk through what has been happening. There often has not seemed to be time to consider your position when all the attention has been given to the patient. It is quite OK and natural to feel irritated and even angry at times; it is a bit like a period of grief for loss of health, and uncertainty about the time of recovery to full health again. Other people's reactions can be very variable in sensitivity, but you do find unexpected friends and strength from unexpected places.

He will not feel like eating at times, no matter what effort you make to prepare tasty and nutritious meals. It is not your fault, although it might feel like it. He will look thinner and fatigued, but as long as he eats little and often, he will gradually regain a new normal weight. It is not like breaking a limb where six weeks in plaster and physiotherapy puts you right. It might be many months of gradual progress, but as long as he is better one week than he was a fortnight before, the periodic setbacks will only be blips along the road.

He will feel twinges and odd pains as his body settles down, but that is very likely the effects of the surgery rather than 'the cancer coming back'.

You probably shield each other from the worst of the worries and fears you both have. But you are in this together, and it normally works best when you can both share your own feelings about the illness and his recovery with each other as far as possible. Women are usually better than men at this.

It must seem a very new and different experience, but I do think it is much different from what many other people using this site have been through. David Kirby, who started the OPA 40 years ago is still alive and well, so there is a long future ahead to aspire to.

joyce55 profile image
joyce55

Thanks for the words of wisdom, today he is trying some soup, let's hope this continues. I will also look into going along to maggies centre you're right women like to talk more than men.

Thanks again Joyce

Spikey profile image
Spikey

At three weeks post-op, the best advice I can offer is:

Eat healthily (low sugar and not too much fat), little and often, and keep track of the foods that disagree with you

Take strong probiotics to help rebuild your digestive system

Take regular, gentle exercise

If possible, get some physiotherapy to help with movement and rebalance the muscles after a spell in hospital

Relax as much as possible - I tried meditation, which I found helpful.

Best Wishes.

joyce55 profile image
joyce55

Thanks for that I try to encourage him to get up and walk about a bit, he says he is too tired it's going to be a long journey but one we will survive.

Thanks Joyce

Rsw1fe profile image
Rsw1fe

Hello Joyce

Just to say, three weeks pot-op is still very much early days. But I do agree about encouraging your partner to walk every day. My husband took about 4 months to feel more or less up for most things.

Also, that article, for which guzzirob put a link, is really helpful.

Your local GP and practice nurse are there for your as well. Use them!

Heatmp profile image
Heatmp

Hi Joyce

I am only 17 weeks post op and am recovering well. You both have a long journey ahead of you but don't under estimate your part in this. I sometimes think it was easier for me as everyone's focus is on the patient and not on how stressful the recovery can be on the partner. I studied the clinical advice (do and don't) before and found that the reality was sometimes the opposite to the advice. Only trial and error with food and exercise will tell you both what is right for your husband. I also found that you can't measure his progress daily, look back on the difference between now and a week or so ago. Hope all goes well.

joyce55 profile image
joyce55

Thanks for that, hope everything goes well for you too.

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