Hi, my name is Jaclyn and I just joined this forum. I'm 19 and I live in New York City. Within the last month, I suddenly got slapped across the face with all the terrible symptoms of achalasia. I've never in my life had any problems eating or swallowing, nor has anyone I know. The fact that it's all so sudden and all so severe has left me no time to process what's going on. I've lost 17 pounds in about 6 weeks, and every day I feel weaker and more skeletal. Eating causes me great discomfort, pain, and nausea. I pretty much throw up everything I eat besides Ensure nutritional smoothies and water. I can't be social anymore, can't go to restaurants, and anytime someone buys me food I just feel so guilty that I'm wasting their money because I know it's gonna come back up within 15 minutes. My dad is being very insensitive about it. At first, he asked me if I was forcing it, implying that maybe I'm lying about all this and that I'm secretly bulimic. He gets annoyed when I eat any food in the house because he feels as though I'm "wasting his food" by eating it. He's gotten a little better, but it still really hurts to hear his comments when I have zero control over what is happening and the notion that I would intentionally cause this drives me to tears. I feel like I'm wasting away. I can't move, walk, exercise, or bike the way I used to. I tire extremely quickly and am plagued by constant fatigue. I'm essentially sedentary now, to preserve energy. I am scared and feel as though my life will never be normal again. Please tell me there's someone here who understands how hard it is to live like this while still trying to feel like a normal person.
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